Jeff Foxworthy on North Dakota

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by mossymo, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. mossymo

    mossymo Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    If 'vacation' to you means going shopping for the
    weekend in Minot , Grand Forks , or Bismarck (while the
    kids swim at the Comfort Inn),
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If parking your car for the night involves an
    extension cord,
    You might live in North Dakota

    If you consider it a sport to gather your food by
    drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all
    day hoping that the food will swim by,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you're proud that your state makes the national
    news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the
    nation,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you have ever refused to buy something because
    it's 'too spendy',
    You might live in North Dakota

    If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November
    through March,
    You might live in&nb sp; North Dakota .

    If someone in a store offers you assistance, and
    they don't work there,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around
    the middle of his forehead,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same
    time,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If your town has an equal number of bars and
    churches,
    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If you know how to correctly pronounce Minot ,
    Bottineau, Ypsilanti , or Glen Ullin,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you measure distance in hours,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup,
    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If you know several people who have hit deer more
    than once,

    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you often switch from 'heat' to 'A/C'in the same
    day and back again,
    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow
    during a raging blizzard, without flinching,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social
    events,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you've installed security lights on your house
    and garage and leave both unlocked,

    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If the largest traffic jam in your town centers
    around a high school basketball game,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you carry jumper cables in your car and your
    girlfriend knows how to use them,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If your town's Christmas lights parade is actually
    called the 'Christmas Lights Parade' rather than the
    ' Holiday Lights Parade', and everyone in the parade actually greets
    you with 'Merry Christmas!'
    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot
    at Wal-Mart at any given time,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve
    Day than on Opening of Deer Season,

    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit
    over a snowsuit,
    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If driving is better in the winter because the
    potholes are filled with snow,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter,
    still winter and road construction,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you can identify a southern or eastern accent,
    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If you consider Medora exotic,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of
    a deer next to your cottonwood,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If the sunbelt to you means Bismarck ,
    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If you know where the 'banana belt' is,
    You might be from North Dakota .

    If a brat i s something you eat,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking
    in the ignition,
    You might live in North Dakota ..

    If you go out to a fish fry every Friday,
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you find 0 degrees 'a little chilly,'
    You might live in North Dakota .

    If you actually understand these observations, and
    you forward them to all your North Dakota friends,

    You must be from North Dakota
     
  2. Mossymo,

    I can definitely relate. We are a hardy bunch up here ain't we??
     
  3. mulepackin

    mulepackin Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Being your neighbor to the west, I can relate to just about all of these. I think your historic blizzards have us beat. Good stuff[​IMG]
     
  4. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    hehehe........i sat here reading that.........and IN my mind......i could hear his high pitch whinie voice SAYING those werds.........LOLOL

    bout half of those if not 2/3rds I could relate to iowa.............
     
  5. fla-gypsy

    fla-gypsy Smoke Blower

    Having been born and raised in Florida, I cannot relate.
     
  6. bigarm's smokin

    bigarm's smokin Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Having been born and raised in MT, I can, however, ND has worse winters. [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  7. mossymo

    mossymo Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    BigArm's smokin
    Our weather sucks, but out of all of the states we have the BEST hunting and fishing of all the other states when you combine the combinations of fish, waterfowl and big game. As Jed Clampett may have put it; ND is the place to be......
     
  8. bigarm's smokin

    bigarm's smokin Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    I don't know Marty, MAYBE if Ellie May was there? [​IMG] I didn't admit my family is from Minot did I ?
     
  9. mossymo

    mossymo Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Yes you did.

    Ellie May is (was) a hotty.....

    Having family in Minot is not a bad thing.

    Our house deal is looking sealed so we should be moved and up there this summer.
     
  10. kookie

    kookie Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Great post MossyMo. You got to love Jeff Foxworthy. But then again I am in the "sunbelt area" lol.

    Kookie
     
  11. oleolson

    oleolson Meat Mopper

    I love it!
     

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