Which are YOU?

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by smokebuzz, Feb 25, 2010.

  1. smokebuzz

    smokebuzz Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.
    You are carrying a Colt 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot..

    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

    .................................................. ..... ..........

    THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:



    Democrat's Answer :


    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make this happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


    Republican's Answer:

    BANG!


    Redneck's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG ! Click . . .. (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

    Daughter: Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hydra-shocks?

    Son: Can I shoot the next one?

    Wife: You ain't taking that to the taxidermist!
     
  2. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    I always considered myself a Republican but I guess I am a Redneck Republican...
     
  3. jamminjimi

    jamminjimi Meat Mopper

    REDNECK all in.
     
  4. smokebuzz

    smokebuzz Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    It's like when the judge asks the little old lady why she shot the perp 6 times?, "because I ran out of bullets"
     
  5. meateater

    meateater Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    REDNECK!! Reminds me of a little old lady that shot an intruder 8 times with a revolver. :)
     
  6. nwbhoss

    nwbhoss Smoking Fanatic

    Definately Redneck [​IMG]
     
  7. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    You missed an option:

    Pennsylvania Democratic Vietnam Vet------BANG!

    Why does it take more than one shot?


    Bearcarver
     
  8. chisoxjim

    chisoxjim Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    what would you be if you took the knife from the terrorist, and then fed it to him blade first.? [​IMG]
     
  9. scarbelly

    scarbelly Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Republican for sure - why would you waste good ammo LOL
     
  10. chisoxjim

    chisoxjim Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    lol... good response. [​IMG]
     
  11. smokebuzz

    smokebuzz Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Because the Republicans left us enuff money so we can[​IMG]
     
  12. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    LOL---US debt before Bush----$5 Trillion
    US debt after Bush------$10 Trillion
    But the rich got their tax breaks.
     
  13. ellymae

    ellymae Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    BINGO!!!!!!
     
  14. ynotk

    ynotk Newbie

    Love it . Good one
     
  15. chisoxjim

    chisoxjim Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    thought there wasnt supposed to be any political b.s. on this site. [​IMG]
     
  16. caveman

    caveman Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    I am neither Democrat, Republican or Redneck. I am a RENAGADE!!! [​IMG]

    1. First you dis-arm him / her. (Consider it. Women do the Jihad thing too.) [​IMG]

    2. Then you use the knife on him / her. (Save your money on the bullets.)

    3. Use the money saved to go buy a butt & smoke it. [​IMG]
     
  17. carpetride

    carpetride Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    My wife would have shot him as he rounded the corner...I married well.
     
  18. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    LOL Jim,
    Look how many before I commented. The joke itself was political. Now People can't defend themselves, or their party???
    I trust you're just kidding.

    Do some research. You will not find any politics on any of my avatars, or below my closings, or any other place. I learned to defend myself a long time before I went to Vietnam, and I will continue to do so.

    Bearcarver
     
  19. chisoxjim

    chisoxjim Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    partially kidding, the thread itself is kind of politically charged, but generally all in fun.

    its all good, I just like to come here to talk bbq, and have a good time.
     

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