# First of 2023!



## sawhorseray (Jan 2, 2023)

She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, Baby, Mama needs new clothes..!"
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed. "Yes..! Yes..! I won, I won.." She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll..?"
The other answered, "Fecked if I know - I thought you were watching."
MORAL OF THE STORY ;-
Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb, but....all men...are men..!


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## tbern (Jan 2, 2023)

another batch of winners, thanks Ray!!


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## halleoneagain (Jan 2, 2023)

I remember all 20 of these, but I already knew I was older than dirt.  On # 15, before there was a number prefix, it was just four numbers (ours was 4264, and an operator connected all calls for you).


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## GonnaSmoke (Jan 2, 2023)

Great way to start the new year, Ray.






Just before this somebody said, "Here, hold my beer."


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## Inscrutable (Jan 2, 2023)

I got 16, but probably just so old I couldn’t remember the other 4


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## GonnaSmoke (Jan 2, 2023)

Inscrutable said:


> I got 16, but probably just so old I couldn’t remember the other 4


Tim, unfortunately or fortunately, I remember them all...


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## sawhorseray (Jan 2, 2023)

Yeah, I got all of them too, couldn't stand Black Jack gum. RAY


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## halleoneagain (Jan 2, 2023)

sawhorseray said:


> Yeah, I got all of them too, couldn't stand Black Jack gum. RAY


Kinda nasty tasting gum, for sure.  Roller skate keys, wow.  Those "prongs" sure could wreak havoc on saddle shoes. Anybody remember saddle shoes?


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## sawhorseray (Jan 3, 2023)

halleoneagain said:


> Anybody remember saddle shoes?


They were standard issue for girls that went to a Catholic school.


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## halleoneagain (Jan 3, 2023)

sawhorseray said:


> They were standard issue for girls that went to a Catholic school.


Hey Ray, yup, that would be me.  Black and white one year, brown and white the next.


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## sawhorseray (Jan 3, 2023)

Yeah Lynn, I did a few years with the Christain Brothers myself, gets you ready to make a living. RAY


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## JLeonard (Jan 3, 2023)

Great chuckles this morning. Thanks!

Jim


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## GaryHibbert (Jan 3, 2023)

Great way to start the year, Ray.  Love the "Flat Earth Surfing" joke.
100% Older Than Dirt Gary


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## 6GRILLZNTN (Jan 3, 2023)

sawhorseray said:


> Yeah, I got all of them too, couldn't stand Black Jack gum. RAY


I can still get these at my local Cracker Barrel.


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## sawhorseray (Jan 3, 2023)

Clove would be another flavor I don't much care for, good way to ruin a ham. RAY


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## sawhorseray (Jan 3, 2023)




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## crazymoon (Jan 3, 2023)

SHR, Another good batch, Thanks for the laughs !


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## goldendogs (Jan 3, 2023)

All great one's looking forward to the next edition. Thanks


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## Brokenhandle (Jan 3, 2023)

I loved them Ray! Always makes me laugh!

Ryan


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## bauchjw (Jan 3, 2023)

Awesome laugh for the new year! Thank you!


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## DRKsmoking (Jan 3, 2023)

I must say Ray, everyone a winner, had me laughing on them all

My life motto








David


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## gmc2003 (Jan 4, 2023)

Ok I'm also in the older then dirt club, and being a proud member I also remember there being 6 stoogies in hollywood. 

and here's a song from the early 70s that matches well with these jokes.


Chris


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## MJB05615 (Jan 4, 2023)

Great start to the New Year, Ray.  All excellent.  The first one with the girls rolling the dice and the Guy in Hospital, is wife asked if she's the only "One" he'd been with, my 2 favorites.  I almost older than dirt, but I remember all of that list.


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## halleoneagain (Jan 4, 2023)

gmc2003 said:


> Ok I'm also in the older then dirt club, and being a proud member I also remember there being 6 stoogies in hollywood.
> 
> and here's a song from the early 70s that matches well with these jokes.
> 
> ...



Darn, Chris, that song sure brought back a few memories!


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## halleoneagain (Jan 4, 2023)

Looks like there are a good number of older-than-dirt members on SMF, we could almost have our own forum to reminisce on.  If we had the memory to reminisce.


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## HalfSmoked (Jan 4, 2023)

As always Ray awesome.

Warren


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