# JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH



## rabbithutch (Sep 29, 2013)

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school

after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.

One said to the other, 'What do you think about

all this Satan stuff?'

The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how

 Santa Claus turned out.

It's probably just your Dad.' 


~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl

whispered to her mother,

'Why is the bride dressed in white?''

The mother replied, 'Because white is the color

of happiness,

and today is the happiest day of her life.'

The child thought about this for a moment then said,

'So why is the groom wearing black?' 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running

as fast as she could,

trying not to be late for Bible class.

As she ran she prayed,

'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord,

please don't let me be late!'

While she was running and praying, she tripped

on a curb and fell,

getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.

She got up, brushed herself off, and started running

again!

As she ran she once again began to pray,

'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please

don't shove me either!' 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about

their fathers.

The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words

on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,

they give him $50.'

The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad

scribbles a few words on piece of paper,

he calls it a song, they give him $100.'

The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad

scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,

he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to

collect all the money!' 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

My favorite laughed so hard

An elderly woman died last month.

Having never married, she requested no male

pallbearers.

In her handwritten instructions for her memorial

service, she wrote,

'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive,

I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.' 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A police recruit was asked during the exam,

'What would you do if you had to arrest your own

mother?'

He answered, 'Call for backup.' 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why

Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to  Jerusalem ...

A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.' 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.

After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy

father and thy mother,' she asked,

'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to

treat our brothers and sisters?'

Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,

'Thou shall not kill..' 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Sunday School they were teaching how God

created everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they

told him

how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying

down as though he were ill,

and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little

Johnny responded,

'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have

a wife.' 
~~~~~~~~~~~~


You don't stop laughing because you grow old..

You grow old because you stop laughing!





Enjoy,"They" haven't found a way to tax you for

laughing yet.


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## saltytim (Sep 29, 2013)

Amen my friend!!!


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