# For the Military Types



## blackhawk19 (Nov 11, 2007)

Subject: A conversation with a Marine commander and a local sheriff

  Hello may I speak to the Commanding Officer of Fleet Marine 
  Amphibious Group Six."

  "Speaking, how may I help you sir."

  "Yea, well good morning. I'm Sheriff Johnny Griffin of Duncan County 
  Georgia. I'm calling about an unfortunate incident that happened here 
  This weekend between four of my off-duty deputies and your Gunnery 
  Sergeant John Anthony Taylor."

  "Yes sheriff I am familiar with the incident, how can I help you?"

  "Well first I'd lak at pologize fer four of ma men jumpin on the 
  Gunny lak that. In all fairness they shouldn't have attackted him lak 
  They did, but in their defense ah hafta say they had been adrinkin. 
  Anyway that ain't no excuse. They shouldn't of jumped him lak they 
  Did. Also ah wants ya to know that we all have a great deal of 
  Respect fer the military and had they known he was a Marine, they 
  Probably wouldn't jumped him lak they did. See he was eyeballin Paula 
  The bartender and they didn't take too kindly to it. They saw his 
  Eagle and glove Marine emblem on his t-shirt and they just kinda tore 
  Into him. Anyways I really regret that it happened."

  "I'm sure you do sherriff."

  "Well ah just called to pass on the good news to you and hope that 
  You'll pass it on to Gunnery Sargeant Taylor. The good news is that 
  All four of my deputies....  they's all gonna live.

  Jones will have a permanent limp but the doctor says he will 
  Eventually walk again.

  Wilcox can talk again since they installed the larynx box and they 
  Hope to be able to pull Markam's nose out of his skull later this 
  Week.

  They successfully removed the size 13 spit-shined shoe out of Harris' 
  *** this morning and the doc says within two weeks he'll be able to 
  Sit again. By the way I will be amailing that shoe back to ya."

  "I'm glad that they're all recovering so nicely sheriff."

  "Yea me too. Me too. Oh could I ask you a favor?"

 "Sure sheriff, what is it?"

  "Please don't let anymore of your Marines into Paula's beer joint. 
  I'm down to me and one deputy."

  "I'll put if off limits right away sheriff."

  "Gunnery Sargeant I just received a report that you were involved in 
  An "altercation" with four civilians at Paula's Bar in Duncan Georgia 
  This past Saturday."

  "Yes sir, that's correct sir."

  "Well along with the report came these pictures, can you explain them 
  To me."

  "Well yes sir, I was sitting drinking my beer talking to the female 
  Bartender when these four guys yelled and charged at me."

  "Well would you be kind enough to explain what happened next?"

  "Well sir an "altercation" broke out."

  "Well Gunny lets start with the first picture here, its marked Mr. 
  Jones."

  "Well sir, he was the first one to come at me, I grabbed him and 
  Tried to hold him as he repeatedly attacked my fist with his face."

  "I see, and how did he break his leg?"

  "Apparently it was when he flew out the second floor window sir."

  "What about photo number two Mr. Duncan it says."

  "Sir it appeared to me that Mr. Duncan had severe intestinal gas. 
  Anyway a vacuum formed in his intestines which caused my foot to rise 
  With unusual force and lodge itself in his *** , plugging the vacuum 
  That was emanating from his rectum. He too departed by the same 
  Window."

  "I see and Mr. Wilcox here."

  "Unfortunately Mr. Wilcox swung at me and missed but unfortunately 
  His forward momentum caused him to trip and the poor fellow fell into 
  My palm and struck it with the brunt of his neck."

  "Ok and Mr. Markum here?"

  "Mr. Markum's nose charged my elbow sir."

  "Did he manage to successfully engage your elbow with his nose."

  "He did sir."

  "And how long did this entire incident take Gunny?"

  "I would estimate 20 to 30 seconds sir."

  "And what did you do when it was over?"

  " I finished my beer and continued talking to the bartender sir."

  "Thank you Gunnery Sargeant, that will be all."


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## walking dude (Nov 11, 2007)

gotta love it..........gotta love it


d88de


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## cowgirl (Nov 11, 2007)

Good one!


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