# Need to vent non bbq.



## ecto1 (Sep 13, 2011)

Just need as place to vent and ask for prayers at the same time.  Last night i was informed that CPS was removing my niece from my brothers house and placing her in ours.  Years of addiction for my brother and his wife have torn this little 5 year old girl up and I am glad and frustrated at the same time.  Another child in the house is going to be tough we already have a 6th grader,  1st grader and a preschooler throw in a Kindergartner and it is a lot of responsibility and stress.  Need to go buy school clothes, feed her, make sure she is safe and at the same time give our kids the time they deserve.  Some people need to grow up and realize their decisions effect more people than just themselves.   May need to bbq some yard bird to relieve some stress and welcome her into our house this weekend.


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## alelover (Sep 13, 2011)

Your a good man Ecto. I'm sure it will work out for you.


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## fishwrestler (Sep 13, 2011)

My wife works CPS ECTO1 and every time hear these stories it breaks my heart. Hang in there and make sure your family makes that little girl feel special. and your children understand the special things we all do for family, in this case not so much for your brother, but for this young girl who had know choice in the matter.

You are a stand up family for taking this on.

Robert


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## alblancher (Sep 13, 2011)

Good luck,  hope losing his kids wakes your brother up


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## tjohnson (Sep 13, 2011)

You know she'll end up being loved just like one of your own!

The love and stability you give her today, will pay of 1,000 times in the future, for both her and your family!!

I believe in Karma My Friend, and someday you will see the benefits of your sacrifices today!!!

Thanks for stepping up My Friend!

Todd


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## sunman76 (Sep 13, 2011)

alblancher said:


> Good luck,  hope losing his kids wakes your brother up


Yes hope it wakes him up for sure,  You and your family will be in our prayers for strength and guidance.


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## realtorterry (Sep 13, 2011)

The same thing happened to me when I was about the same age due to neglect. My uncle also took me in. 35 years later I call him DAD & he is the most influential person in my life. I can never thank him enough!!


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## boykjo (Sep 13, 2011)

kudos to ya ecto...... your doing the right thing here.... look at it this way.......Instead of being just an uncle, your now a new dad.............
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






joe


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## michael ark (Sep 13, 2011)

Heartbreaking, prayers sent.Remember all you need is love .


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## lovinspoonful (Sep 13, 2011)

Think positive and dwell on the best parts of it. Four kids is more fun than three! You are literally saving a life, and getting her early before too much damage is done and having your existing kids as her role models will be a huge help.

This is one situation where positive thinking really does work. It will influence how the kids see it and how they fare and make the overall challenge that much more doable.

God bless you for taking her in.


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## billyj571 (Sep 13, 2011)

You and your family will be in our prayers for strength and guidance. Karma has a way with people. Good Luck and God Bless you for doing this..


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## backyardsmokin (Sep 13, 2011)

Bless you for taking in and helping the little angel.

I cannot say that I know how you feel, but I understand.  I have an aunt who is in the same situation with her two grandsons (1st and 4th graders) and trying to make it on her retirement.  We have always been there to help her out by taking them off of her hands now and again.  To give her a little vacation last Christmas I took both of them for a week and I taught them how to make all sorts of cookies and other treats.  I was going to take them this past summer and introduce them ti the fine art of BBQ, but they went with a different relative.

You will be in my families thoughts, and we will hope that your family will be able to help out like we have with ours.


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## eman (Sep 13, 2011)

Just remember that she is 5 and there is no telling how much if any love she has been shown. She may act up for a while untill she settles in and understands that there is love for her in your home and family but along w/ that love comes discipline.


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## gros cochon (Sep 13, 2011)

You're a good man ECTO. I hate to see kids suffer because of the stupidity & neglect of their parents. I know it will be tough, I have 3 kids of my own, but one day you will be rewarded for making a difference in this kids life. You have all my respect sir. Good luck.


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## scarbelly (Sep 13, 2011)

Hey man good on ya for stepping in there. She is going to see what a real life is like thanks to you and your family. Lots of work but well worth it in the end. She is going to make you laugh and cry but the end is worth it.


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## SmokinAl (Sep 13, 2011)

It will be tough, but years from now, you will be very happy with your decision to take her in!


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## sqwib (Sep 13, 2011)

ECTO1

Your a good man and you were just handed the most precious resource on this planet.

You can give her the guidance she needs.

I just thank god that there are people like you in the world and the world would be a much better place if there were more.

You will make it work and your children will grow up with the same compassion and unselfishness as Mrs. Ecto1 and yourself

You will sleep good, I know I would.


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## ecto1 (Sep 13, 2011)

Thanks for all the kind words it is not final yet. The mother is the wild card if she does not agree CPS may have to make this little girl a ward of the state.  They have both been found unfit to leave the child with so all she will do is hold up the process.  I think the hardest part will be the supervised visits we will have to abide by.  I don't think I am doing anything that everyone here would not due themselves.  I teach in a very rough neighborhood here in Houston and see kids that get thrown from house to house and they need attention.


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## masterofmymeat (Sep 13, 2011)

There is nothing that I can say that hasn't been said. Hopefully, someone who

reads your thread will wake up themselves if it is happening to them. Your road

has just now opened up a new lane. A bigger lane to travel life on with this new

addition.

I truly believe ECTO1 you will be rewarded beyond belief for this, that's Carma

for you. The only drawback is not knowing how long the conflict will last and

where it will lead in the future. Be strong, diligent, and loving, but most of all,

be the leader you have shown yourself to be...you will not fail.

James


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## chef willie (Sep 13, 2011)

Hope it all works out with the new development. The mother should do what's best for the girl and her being a ward of the State isn't it. You're being a stand up guy and will be rewarded somewhere along the way. Sincerely hope they can kick this crap and get their lives back. Sad to say this goes on everywhere....anybody caught dealing this shit outta have a minimum 25 years on a chain gang with no parole. Affects a lot many more than just those addicted.


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## daveomak (Sep 13, 2011)

ECTO you are a big hearted, stand-up man.... fortunately, for your neice, she will know what a real father is like.. your heart is bigger than an UDS....

Dave


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## bmudd14474 (Sep 13, 2011)

Ill be praying for you. This is alot to take on. If you need anything let me know.


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## venture (Sep 13, 2011)

I know you will do a great job and that you will be blessed.

Good luck and good smoking.


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## oldschoolbbq (Sep 13, 2011)

Prayers on the way,and if you need any help,I'd be there to offer my hand.God love you and know you did good.


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## tyotrain (Sep 13, 2011)

Good things come to good people.. You will see...


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## michael ark (Sep 13, 2011)

The war on drugs is a war on our family members you can't pick them.We need treatment for our family's not to tear them apart.I say family's because it will work better than negative punishment .That just breeds contempt.


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## eman (Sep 13, 2011)

michael ark said:


> The war on drugs is a war on our family members you can't pick them.We need treatment for our family's not to tear them apart.I say family's because it will work better than negative punishment .That just breeds contempt.


I would tend to agree w/ you if no children are involved , But w/ a small child in that inviroment, (as much as i hate to say it) the state has to step in and get the child out of the harmful inviroment.


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## flutterbye1 (Sep 14, 2011)

Big thumbs up for you Ecto1 on stepping in to be a REAL MAN and role model for her....  I belong to Bikers Against Child Abuse and see and deal with these situations all the time... And emotional abuse is sometimes worst than the phyiscal abuse... If she goes to state I hope and pray you will be able to fight for her and bring her into a loving and happy home...  If you need an extra hand with welcoming her in I may be able to get with my brothers and sisters of BACA in TX to help you out there... Just send me email if needed....   And you will be in our thoughts and prayes Brother


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## ecto1 (Sep 14, 2011)

I am pretty sure everything is going to be finalized today the background checks went through like I knew they would.  We got a new bed set up don't know if this will be for a few months or 13 years but we will make it work either way.  Flutterbye1 thanks for the offer I am so overwhelmed right now I would not even know where to start.  I am sure we will be fine we are just going to take it one day at a time.  I don't know exactly what she will show up with may just be the shirt on her back.  I am going to have to take a day off of work to register her in school and make sure the parents are on the do not pick up list.  I have a ton of questions for CPS but they may be the hardest people to get a hold of in the world.


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## terry colwell (Sep 14, 2011)

ECTO,,,

 I totally know how you feel. I am a father of 4, 2 mine 2 my second wife. We got down to the LAST one in the house and then my daughter got pregnant, had the baby and left it with us. We have raised or Grand daughter ALL her life so far, she is 4 now and this home is all she knows . She has tried several times at "mommys" but always calls PaPa to come get her.. All I can say is pull up your pants and get on with it, Family has a way of breaking your heart the most.

 But if this little girl left me now it would Devastate me now, I didnt expect to be "raising a little one" after 24 years of raising kids already,but,, I just could not turn my back on a innocent baby... Good Luck and I hope you the Very Best and I will send prayer to your little girl and your family. Try always to look at this thru HER eyes. It might help get you over the "tough" spots...


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## ecto1 (Sep 14, 2011)

Well I have custody as of tonight looks like the state is still going to step in but hopefully we will be named the foster parents.  But for now she is safe in our house I have a felling all hell is going to break lose when her moms family learns they don't have visitation right now.  Glad we all had a clean record that helped move everything faster.


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## carpetride (Sep 14, 2011)

Glad you are able to give this child a loving home, she will not ever forget that as she gets older.  An employee of mine had to do something very similar earlier this year with an older child.  True character can be best judged during times of stress.


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## africanmeat (Sep 15, 2011)

I can just say ECTO1 you are a man with a heart of gold .i salute you


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## Bearcarver (Sep 15, 2011)

TJohnson said:


> You know she'll end up being loved just like one of your own!
> 
> The love and stability you give her today, will pay of 1,000 times in the future, for both her and your family!!
> 
> ...


What Todd said, plus----"I am proud to know you, Ecto"

Bear


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## ecto1 (Sep 15, 2011)

My brother and his wife are so stupid.  They threatened the CPS worker today so now the child may wind up away from family at least for a while.  My poor wife has gone through every emotion possible this week.  I know this is not BBQ thank you for letting me vent on here I need to cook something quick to take my mind off this stuff.  I got to get my house ready for a home study just in case we are allowed to foster her.


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## justpassingthru (Sep 15, 2011)

Ecto,

What you, your wife and family are doing is highly commendable, and the recompense from nurturing and correctly raising a child will be immeasurable.

I think I saw a typo in your post, I'm sure you meant "get" rather than "have" to take a day off from work, ...your presence, the strength and love she will receive from you being there in that frightening time will go a long way in helping her to bond to you and your family, ...remember she has been last for five years.

Children are a reward from God, ...for Him to have chosen you and your family to receive this precious one speaks very highly of you character.

If you don't mind may I suggest you not ask too many questions of CPS, once you have her let sleeping dogs lie, ...but rather learn what is the law and what your rights are from competent legal counsel that you trust.

And may I add, the caliber of the previous posters shows the excellence of SMF, I'm glad to know you and be a member here, I'm sure that any of you, put in the same position, would unselfishly step up and do what ecto is doing.

Viva le SMF!!!

Gene


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## roller (Sep 15, 2011)

May the Lord look down on you and protect you !!!!!!


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## michael ark (Sep 15, 2011)

I have work at a children youth services 3 years.Talked to allot of people on both sides.It was awful when a good kid was put with the delinquents and made into a bad kid. Because the parents are on drugs and the system get involved and the other members of the family that actually know the child and whats best for them can't keep them out of it  till they jump through hoops and made to lick boots .I think all rights should revert to living relatives and the state should butt out.The parents can get back custody after rehab is completed.


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## smokey mo (Sep 28, 2011)

Ecto, I have nothing to offer you save prayer to a mighty God that looks for the crazy impossible things in this world so he can show how fantastic he is.  When bad things happen to good people it gives him a way to show you love so you can in turn show love back to others.   I have no doubt in my mind that you are a great man. Heavy times are coming.  Look up and ask that God may bless you and this small bundle of joy.  All things work for the good brother...even this.

I am putting you and your family on my families prayer list.  Please let me know how we can pray for you.  PM me if you need to talk or vent.

god grace and peace to you and your family.

Rick


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## ecto1 (Sep 28, 2011)

Smokey Mo said:


> Ecto, I have nothing to offer you save prayer to a mighty God that looks for the crazy impossible things in this world so he can show how fantastic he is.  When bad things happen to good people it gives him a way to show you love so you can in turn show love back to others.   I have no doubt in my mind that you are a great man. Heavy times are coming.  Look up and ask that God may bless you and this small bundle of joy.  All things work for the good brother...even this.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Thanks Rick today was a tough day.  We had court and my sister in law told the judge she would rather see her daughter in the care of the state than with my family.  The judge told her that was not her decision and it got ugly fast.  Then she threatened my family and lost visitation.  My niece is doing so much better in just a few weeks she gets to be a kid again.  It breaks my heart to see what drugs have done to my brother and I hope this is a wake up call.  I fear for his life as she has a history of domestic violence.  Day's like this remind me of the book of Job in the Bible.  I think i will read that story to all my kids this weekend.


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## jirodriguez (Sep 29, 2011)

You are doing a great thing Ecto! Regardless of whatever you brother is able to pull together in his life, at least your niece will have a chance to succeed! Prayers for your family, and hang in there my friend!


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## sunman76 (Sep 29, 2011)

Dear Lord our father in heaven we come to you this morning asking you to forgive us of our sins that we may approach your

throne of Grace. We ask that you be with this family and all the children Lord, that you would hold them close to you and

give them guidance and comfort in the days and years to come.  Lord we also ask in prayer together for the brother and

sister in law that you could touch there heart Lord that they may see the precious gift that you have for them that they may

come to know you that they may know what love is.  We thank you Lord for this family willing to step in and raise this child

as there own, and give her the love she needs.  We thank you for all things and for your precious Son Jesus Christ we ask

these things in his name

Amen


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## cfarley (Sep 29, 2011)

GOOD MAN!!

Have patients, you did the right thing.


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## smokey mo (Oct 1, 2011)

Job is one of my favorite books in the whole Bible.  Just remember after Job went through the trial God allowed, he was blessed twice over.  Stay strong Brother. If you need anything just PM me.

r


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## billyj571 (Oct 5, 2011)

Ill be praying for you. This is a lot to take on. If you need anything let me know.


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