# The Pickle jar.......



## coyote (Sep 5, 2008)

The Pickle Jar                                                           

  The pickle jar as far back as I can remember sat on the floor beside the  
  dresser in my parents' bedroom. When he got ready for bed, Dad would      
  empty his pockets and toss his coins into the jar.                        

  As a small boy I was always fascinated at the sounds the coins made as    
  they were dropped into the jar. They landed with a merry jingle when the  
  jar was almost empty.  Then the tones gradually muted to a dull thud as   
  the jar was filled.                                                       

  I used to squat on the floor in front of the jar and admire the copper    
  and silver circles that glinted like a pirate's treasure when the sun     
  poured through the bedroom window.  When the jar was filled, Dad would    
  sit at the kitchen table and roll the coins before taking them to the     
  bank.                                                                     

  Taking the coins to the bank was always a big production.  Stacked neatly 
  in a small cardboard box, the coins were placed between Dad and me on the 
  seat of his old truck.                                                    

  Each and every time, as we drove to the bank, Dad would look at me        
  hopefully.  'Those coins are going to keep you out of the textile mill,   
  son You're going to do better than me.  This old mill town's not going to 
  hold you back.'                                                           

  Also, each and every time, as he slid the box of rolled coins across the  
  counter at the bank toward the cashier, he would grin proudly 'These are  
  for my son's college fund. He'll never work at the mill all his life like 
  me.'                                                                      

  We would always celebrate each deposit by stopping for an ice cream cone. 
  I always got chocolate.  Dad always got vanilla.  When the clerk at the   
  ice cream parlor handed Dad his change, he would show me the few coins    
  nestled in his palm.  'When we get home, we'll start filling the jar      
  again.'  He always let me drop the first coins into the empty jar.  As    
  they rattled around with a brief, happy jingle, we grinned at each other. 
  'You'll get to college on pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters,' he said. 
  'But you'll get there; I'll see to that.'                                 
  No matter how rough things got at home, Dad continued to doggedly drop    
  his coins into the jar.  Even the summer when Dad got laid off from the   
  mill, and Mama had to serve dried beans several times a week, not a       
  single dime was taken from the jar.                                       

  To the contrary, as Dad looked across the table at me, pouring catsup     
  over my beans to make them more palatable, he became more determined than 
  ever to make a way out for me.  'When you finish college, Son,' he told   
  me, his eyes glistening, 'You'll never have to eat beans again - unless   
  you want to.'                                                             

  The years passed, and I finished college and took a job in another town.  
  Once, while visiting my parents, I used the phone in their bedroom, and   
  noticed that the pickle jar was gone.  It had served its purpose and had  
  been removed.                                                             

  A lump rose in my throat as I stared at the spot beside the dresser where 
  the jar had always stood.  My dad was a man of few words, and never       
  lectured me on the values of determination, perseverance, and faith. The  
  pickle jar had taught me all these virtues far more eloquently than the   
  most flowery of words could have done.  When I married, I told my wife    
  Susan about the significant part the lowly pickle jar had played in my    
  life as a boy.  In my mind, it defined, more than anything else, how much 
  my dad had loved me.                                                      

  The first Christmas after our daughter Jessica was born, we spent the     
  holiday with my parents.  After dinner, Mom and Dad sat next to each      
  other on the sofa, taking turns cuddling their first grandchild. Jessica  
  began to whimper softly, and Susan took her from Dad's arms. 'She         
  probably needs to be changed,' she said, carrying the baby into my        
  parents' bedroom to diaper her. When Susan came back into the living      
  room, there was a strange mist in her eyes.                               

  She handed Jessica back to Dad before taking my hand and leading me into  
  the room.  'Look,' she said softly, her eyes directing me to a spot on    
  the floor beside the dresser. To my amazement, there, as if it had never  
  been removed, stood the old pickle jar, the bottom already covered with   
  coins.  I walked over to the pickle jar, dug down into my pocket, and     
  pulled out a fistful of coins.  With a gamut of emotions choking me, I    
  dropped the coins into the jar.  I looked up and saw that Dad, carrying   
  Jessica, had slipped quietly into the room. Our eyes locked, and I knew   
  he was feeling the same emotions I felt. Neither one of us could speak.   

  This truly touched my heart.  I know it has yours as well. Sometimes we   
  are so busy adding up our troubles that we forget to count our blessings. 


  Never underestimate the power of your actions.  With one small gesture    
  you can change a person's life, for better or for worse.


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## travcoman45 (Sep 5, 2008)

An if the world would only start livin simple like that again, what a better place we could have.  

That's a good story coyote.


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## smokin' dick (Sep 5, 2008)

Excellent story Coyote, brought a tear to my eye. This past weekend we dropped our oldest of for his Freshman year at college. That really brought on the tears.


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## werdwolf (Sep 5, 2008)

What a great story. Certainly stirred up my heart.  Reminds me that in my profession (physician) we get so busy with all the hoopla we sometimes forget how an act of kindness can be so meaningful to someone and maybe change their life.


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## supervman (Sep 5, 2008)

This doesn't belong under "Jokes" and I hope it's true. 
Werdwolf, a FINE physician is HARD to find and I have a FABULOUS one now. EVERY time I see him before he starts, he says Let's start with your head (which is pretty f'd up):) then he works down to my toes. Sort of like a mini physical. THEN he gets to why I'm there. FYI. 

Coyote, GREAT story!


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## monty (Sep 5, 2008)

Coyote,

Thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us. And I agree it should not be in the "Jokes" section.

I am moving this thread to the "Messages For All Members and Guests" section and making it a sticky.

Thank you again!
Cheers!


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## morkdach (Sep 5, 2008)

what he said^^^^^^^^^ thanks coyote it did bring a tear.


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## brandsbay (Sep 5, 2008)

Hey coyote,a touching tale,and yes it made my eyes water.Thank you for sharing it with us.


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## meat-man (Sep 6, 2008)

Great story brother ! It brought a tear to my eye !


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## pacnwsteve (Sep 6, 2008)

Coyote, that is a great story, and one that a lot of folks could learn from.  We are living in such a selfish "instant gratification" society that I think folks have totally forgotten what hard times and sacrifice are all about.  Remember, smoking meat, and really bbq, all started as a way to make cheap meat palatable.  Look what it's become to all of us.  

Whenever I see a bratty little kid with a fancy cell phone, or some sixteen year old driving a fancy car his parents bought for him, I wonder if those values are forevermore lost from our society.  People feel pretty entitled to everything  "right now". I'm glad to know folks like you out there still have them and are passing them on.  To this day, I can remember my grandma sewing up holes in my grandpa's socks.  Today, we just head to the store, buy another pair, and chuck the old ones.

Cheers to the pickle jar.  I'm starting my own.


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## supervman (Sep 6, 2008)

MO TAY! 
You DA MAN! 
Loving and caring for and wanting your children to be better than you is selfless. It is TRUE love and to be admired. 
Coyote ROCKS! 
V


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## 1894 (Sep 6, 2008)

Don't have a real "pickle jar " but have been using one of those big water bottles ( like the water cooler they have in offices and such )for a few years now and just dropped in some more change.  Don't have any kids of our own , but got one spry lil' nephew and a brand new niece.  I'm gonna start calling that old water  bottle the  "Pickle Jar " 
Thanks Coyote


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## mulepackin (Sep 6, 2008)

Much appreciated Coyote. We too, just took our oldest off to college. Thing is he's 22. He has been our problem child. Messed with ***** as a teen, hated his parents (us), many scrapes with the law, probation, group homes, counseling and on and on. He has gone his own way the past several years, working in resort towns for min. wage jobs, not saving a dime. His college fund was wiped out pretty much years ago with legal costs, counselors, etc. But this summer he decided it was time to try to go to school and pursue a better life for himself. He made all of the arrangements himself, got registered, applied for and is getting financial aid, got a place to live. He only asked us to pick him up where he was living and take him to the college town, which we did. We have continued to put money into his "college fund" and though it isn't much, it was great to help where needed. We've seen him walk away from us mad in the past with a whole lot less in his pockets and a whole lot worse prospects going for him. But after a sincere handshake and hug from him, it was almost harder to leave the day we dropped him off at school two weeks ago. We're not so naive as to think it will all be roses from here on out, but are cautiously optimistic just the same. His sisters have been straight A students, one is in her 3rd year of college on a full ride scholarship, and the youngest, a junior in HS is poised to follow suit. Right now we are every bit as proud of him as we are of them.


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## ronp (Sep 6, 2008)

Nice story, I loved It.


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## pops6927 (Sep 6, 2008)

After my wife's first cancer, it wiped out every penny we had and put us $120,000 in debt.  We had to ask our oldest son to delay his dream of going to college as we had spent his college fund.  He was working part time at RadioShack, so he asked his boss and got promoted to full time, living at the house with us for the next year.  During that time he put all his change into a mayonnaise jar, and we'd add to it as we could; it was his 'someday' savings.
He discovered while studying to be a Manager In Training that RadioShack offered a benefit for it's employees and employees' siblings; Charles Tandy set aside a large block of stock and the proceeds from that stock funded an account that would provide grants for college for needy associates.  It is known as The Tandy Fund.  He was also offered a store at about the same time, and called me from work, asking me my advice what he should do... it was exciting thinking of becoming a Store Manager, or should he go to college?   I told him that if he became a store manager without a college education then 30 years from now he would still be a store manager; if he got his college education he could buy a store.  He applied for and got the Tandy Grant and got accepted at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth (where he had to go on the Grant) majoring in Computer Science.  We went to the bank and cashed in his jars of change; it was enough to pay for a train ride to Texas, the only way we could afford to get him there.
Shortly after my wife's cancer operation, I ruptured 3 discs as a meat manager and had to have a back operation, out of work for 2 1/2 years, in a wheelchair most the time.  I recovered enough to get out of the chair, and he was in his 3rd year of school, still working for RadioShack.  But, he was offered a lucrative job on campus doing their networking between dorms and the main computer.  If he left RadioShack he'd lose his grant.  I applied and was hired by RadioShack as a sales associate so he could quit RadioShack and take on this networking job.  
15 years later he now is CEO of his own networking corporation, expanding to surrounding states after 10 years in business.  He's gone back to TCU and got his Executive MBA and is working on his doctorate.  He has a mayonnaise jar in his office he puts his change in.  It's what got him from Adams Center, NY to Fort Worth, Tx. to begin his adult life; without it we could never have raised the money for the train ticket.  Now he has a daughter and a son on the way.
15 years later I'm a store manager for RadioShack and we also moved to Fort Worth about 10 years ago.  Without a college education I can't go much further and it's a testament to what I'd told him, but I'm thankful for the job.  Now my wife's come down with another cancer, her tests were last week and we find out how bad next week.  In one week we've already accumulated $2,500 in bills that the insurance won't cover.  We've been putting change in a water bucket for the last year or so for grandkids, but we're going to need it again.... you put money away for a rainy day.. it's raining.
I won't be posting much more as far as smoking anything large goes; it's now not in our budget.  I did some sausage and going to do a chicken today for our son's birthday (the CEO), maybe a small turkey for New Year's Eve.  I've got some pork steaks I'm going to do Sunday. But, no briskets or butts or anything of a larger amount, we have new oncologists and radiologists we have to pay off their cars and boats again.  It took me 10 years before to pay off the $120,000 but I did it; I refused to file for bankrupcy.  I won't again, I'll work parttime jobs again to pay this off too.  Anybody need their smoker cleaned?
But, I'll be on here as I can and I can only offer anything I know as much as I know to pass on to help others.  I've got a lifetime of experience in meats and I'm glad to share anything at all I am able to.  Isn't that what a lifetime of experience in something good for, to pass on to help others?  Please don't hesitate to ask, I'm more than glad to give whatever input I can.
Take heed of the pickle jar and start one, you never know when it'll be needed!


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## daboys (Sep 6, 2008)

Great story coyote. Brought back some old memories.


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## monty (Sep 6, 2008)

Isn't it truly amazing how so many different folks separated by time and distance can relate to being helped along in such similar ways.

Pops, you are a man of great courage, strength and wisdom. Congratulations on your guidance and sacrifice for your son and for sticking to your guns and doing the right thing with your wife. You are now challenged again by a change in the current of the river of life. My prayers will be with you and your wife and please keep your SMF family posted on developments both good and otherwise.

I find it most unique that even when faced with a situation such as yours you still offer a piece of yourself to all of us. You are a great person and I am proud to call you a friend! I'll do what I can to get a good word in for you and yours "Upstairs".

Cheers!


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## richtee (Sep 6, 2008)

Wow. I'm feeling somewhat inadequate... that is an amazing story, Pops. I have a change jar... I'll be looking at it a little differently after these posts. Thank you.


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## dennisdocb (Sep 6, 2008)

I feel the same as Rich, I have a water bottle also and I too will look at it differently from now on...Thanks Guys far great posts


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## supervman (Sep 6, 2008)

Pops what an example of a FINE individual. 
GLAD your Wife is kicking. Sorry bout your back. REAL HAPPY bout your fine Son! 

America is BEAUTIFUL!


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## dingle (Sep 6, 2008)

I have a jar for my three old daughter. I have at times "borrowed" from the jar for meaningless items. After the preceding stories I will only add to the jar from now on! Feeling rather guilty and sensitive at the moment.


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## ronp (Sep 6, 2008)

Coyote what a great story.


Pops, what an honor to know you, you are one courageous person. I think it's time that things turn around for you.

God bless my friend.


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## pops6927 (Sep 6, 2008)

Thanks so much, I didn't post this because of our situation, just that The Pickle Jar hit home such a chord of remembrance and how wonderful and meaningful a story it is.  We went to Roswell Memorial Cancer Center in Buffalo, NY; at first every week for a year, then every two weeks for a year, then every month for a year, then every 2 months for a year, etc., until they said she was in a sort of remission.  She is never free of the leiomyosarcoma; it can return at any time and initially this is what we thought had happened, but it's a different kind of lymphoma this time.  Anyways, at Roswell we met a lot of people, from blue collar to movie stars there for treatment (that is where Gilda Radner and a host of others went to).  The most recurring theme we heard from many women was how, once the husband found out the wife had cancer, he bailed, got a long-distance divorce and disappeared, unwilling to be responsible for the wife's condition and resulting bills.  I was absolutely horrified by the stories we heard from woman after woman!  It was amazing at how many spineless ******** there were, and also taking away the patient's only hope for recovery, their insurance.  These women who braved through their disease and coped with such loss are the real heroes, believe me!  If I owned a gun I wanted to track down every one of their spouses who split and make sure they never walked (and walked out) again!
They've made such improvements in treatments and cures (our daughter-in-law, married to the CEO, is a cancer researcher heading trials looking for cures and is a big help; she's going with us Tuesday when we get the results) that we hope 1) it's a minor skin cancer and 2) that is has not internalized - that would be the best outcome.  But, whatever the outcome is, my wife knows I will stay by her side 100%.  And, I know the good folks on here would do the same!  I've learned deep love and respect for my wife after the doctors told me she was going to die in 3 weeks, guaranteed she wouldn't see her next birthday.  She's still here kickin' me every step of the way!  She's a fighter!  And we'll make it this time too!


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## monty (Sep 6, 2008)

Pops,

My father, at age 42 was given six months to live. Well, the docs were almost right. He passed away thirty-one years and six months to the day after his first assessment. He had cancer of the larynx and later several other cancers also beset him.

I know all about the treatment and the waiting and the uncertainty of results and the anticipation of remission.

Once again may God hold you and your wife close and may His light shine upon you giving strength and peace. I am sure the entire SMF family has you both in their prayers.

Cheers, my friend!


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## meowey (Sep 6, 2008)

Pops,

Your story has brought tears to my eyes.  I hope for only the best for you and yours.

Coyote,

Thanks for starting this thread.  I have a change bucket. From now on, I will think of it as my pickle jar!

Regards,

Meowey


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## supervman (Sep 6, 2008)

In 1998 a GOOD friend of mine was given TWO weeks. 
He is now CANCER FREE 10 - TEN - years! 
Attitude, support and Faith!

He asked me to pour a bottle of Irish Whiskey on his grave. 
I STILL have the bottle. 
HOPE I never use it!


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## pops6927 (Sep 10, 2008)

We went to the oncologist yesterday for the results of her tests: they did what's called a PET scan which is a 3-d image of her entire innards, blood work and CT scan too (all in all about $8,000 in tests, of which I pay $2,500). BUT! The good news is that the cancer has not internalized - everything inside is normal from an organ standpoint. It is some kind of large T-Cell proliferactive lymphoma of the skin. She has to have the primary site re-excised (a bigger amount taken out), and has to go to the leading expert in Texas on it in Dallas at Baylor Hospital downtown (gawd I hate driving in Dallas!) as 3 pathologists and 1 dermatologist and 2 oncologists can't agree as to what kind of t-cell lymphoma she has and what course of treatments she needs. Most likely she is going to have to have a bone marrow test done (they put a big needle in the bone of the hip and draw out fluid) and radiation on the site, and if excised again have chemo topically along with it. But, at least no major internal operations as of yet! We can exclude 'worst case scenario' now. All in all about another $4,000 in non-covered bills, maybe. But, that's ok. We'll find a way. I know this time I'm a lot more concience on how the doctors and labs are spending my money and making sure EVERYONE, from the radiologists to oncologists to chemo and radiation spe******ts, etc. are in our network and will accept assignment of benefits so we don't have to pay excess charges.
Anyways, I'm rattling. Still a long way to go and lots of bills to accumulate, but the worst case is over, TG! She's gonna live! Now, we just pray it hasn't gotten into the bone marrow. Thank you all for your prayers getting us this far, it is sooo much appreciated!

*Edited in* - We were told by her office (the doctor in Dallas) that the next appointment was in mid January.  The oncologist we saw yesterday who's referring us to the oncologist in Dallas called her and her office just called us - they want to see her tomorrow at 12:30pm!  Guess the priority level has been raised and doors opened.  We'll see what happens tomorrow!


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## cman95 (Sep 10, 2008)

Thanks for sharing guys, as I wipe a tear from my eyes.


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## billbo (Aug 28, 2009)

I have done this at home since my daughter was born 8 years ago. This just reinforces my beliefs that I am doing the right thing. Great story! And yes, a tear welled up.


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## coyote (Jul 27, 2011)

I am glad folks have gotten a benifit from this. It is still a great read. and reminds me to do better.


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## michael ark (Jul 27, 2011)

This thread was a double whammy .Between coyote and pops.


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## meateater (Jul 27, 2011)

I've had that jar all my life but will look at it in a different way now. P.S. check your change I still find silver now and then.


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## simple (Jul 27, 2011)

meateater said:


> I've had that jar all my life but will look at it in a different way now. P.S. check your change I still find silver now and then.


Thanks for the silver idea, meateater.  I forgot I had a few rolls of silver coins.  May have to see if they're worth enough to be useful.

 I've been out of work for 4 months--never dreamed I wouldn't be able to to walk right into a job with my experience and contacts.  Everybody is using on-line questionnaires and "assessments" to weed folks out.  I KNOW that the questions asked can't be asked on an application or in an interview.  I don't  know how they're getting by with it, but my age and lack of college degree are killing me.  When I lost my job, we lost our insurance.  My wife has been on Medicare part A due to medical disability, but we never got part B or D because we didn't need them.  Thought we would save the gov't some money and just use my work insurance.  Big mistake.  Due to past employers being out of business, it it took me almost 3 months to get (by hook or by crook, actually) the info needed to get her part B started.  Since that took so long, we can't get her on part D until the first of the year.  

Hopefully those rolls of coin have enough value to help pay for at least a little bit of her meds...

We've made it through everything else, and we'll make it through this somehow.


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