# Thursday Funnies!



## sawhorseray (Oct 15, 2020)

A man wasn’t feeling well so he went to the doctor. After examining him the doctor took his wife aside, and said, “your husband has a very sensitive heart. I am afraid he’s not going to make it, unless you treat him like a king, which means you are at his every beck and call, 24 hours a day and that he doesn’t have to do anything himself. On the way home the husband asked with a note of concern “what did he say?” “Well”, the lady responded, “he said it looks like you probably won’t make it.” 




So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living.
He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine. 
Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. 
Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas.  "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless.

The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor".


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## yankee2bbq (Oct 15, 2020)

Pretty good stuff!!


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## MJB05615 (Oct 15, 2020)

Good stuff.  Sending me off to work in a good mood again, thank you!


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## JLeonard (Oct 15, 2020)

thanks for the chuckles this morning.
Jim


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## HalfSmoked (Oct 15, 2020)

Nice chuckles.

Warren


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## GaryHibbert (Oct 15, 2020)

Love Sam Elliot memes.       
Gary


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## HalfSmoked (Oct 15, 2020)

Here's something to think about!
In my younger days Sears Roebuck catalogs were free now it coast a buck a roll to wipe my butt.     

Warren


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## gmc2003 (Oct 15, 2020)

HalfSmoked said:


> Here's something to think about!
> In my younger days Sears Roebuck catalogs were free now it coast a buck a roll to wipe my butt.
> 
> Warren



You could buy a house thru that old catalog also.  I vaguely remember when it was Simpson Sears and Roebuck.  

Chris


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## HalfSmoked (Oct 15, 2020)

Yes there is 2 of those houses in our town.

Warren


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## tag0401 (Oct 16, 2020)




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