# Sipping Vodka



## GaryHibbert (Dec 2, 2013)

A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak..  After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.​      The Monsignor replied, *"When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass.  If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."*​      So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice..  At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink..  He proceeded to talk up a storm.​      Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:​      1)  Sip the vodka, don't gulp.​  2)  There are 10 commandments, not 12..​  3)  There are 12 disciples, not 10...​  4)  Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.​  5)  Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.​  6)  We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..​  7)  The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.​  8)  David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..​  9)  When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.​  10)  We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'​  11)  When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said,*"Take this and eat it for this is my body.."*    He did not say,*"Eat me."*​  12)  The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.​  13)  The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.​  14)  Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.​


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## pc farmer (Dec 2, 2013)

That is funny.


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## jerseyhunter (Dec 7, 2013)

That was Great


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