# Yeah right



## osprey2 (Apr 14, 2015)

OK We got Danny, our own pet Texan., who wants to smoke cats ( bloomin heathen).

 Wade, who seems to smoke air if he can

Smokewood what else can I say

Me I'm Dave, might change my username to sicknote if they operate again.

A thread of banter, away from the boards ?

Who smokes butter !!!


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## wade (Apr 14, 2015)

Butter? Who in their right mind would try to smoke that !













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## mr t 59874 (Apr 14, 2015)

Wade said:


> Butter? Who in their right mind would try to smoke that?


Beats the heck out of me.  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





Smoked Butter - From Scratch Q/view

Nice load you have, Wade.

Tom


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## osprey2 (Apr 15, 2015)

Wade said:


> Butter? Who in their right mind would try to smoke that !
> 
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> 
> ...


Wierd people would be my guess Wade. Looks good.


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## kc5tpy (Apr 15, 2015)

Hello.  I can't get armadillo here and the road kill here makes for pretty slim pickings!  Have you tasted Wade's food??  Smoked air is his best dish!  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





Dave, are ya tryin to say we take some of this stuff too serious??  If so, you are probably right.  Granted this is not a chatroom but ya gotta have a little fun now and then.  Also allows new folks to relax and realise we are all just a bunch of "normal" ( excluding Wade ) folks having fun and producing some good smoked food.  I think it makes us more "approachable" so the new folks feel comfortable asking a question.  They may be intimidated thinking these folks have been doing this so long I don't want to ask this because they will think I am a muppet.  We all know the only "dumb" question is the one not asked.  We all had to start somewhere.

So long as we only allow Wade to give advice on how to boil water, all is good.  I hear he uses liquid smoke.  Just sayin!  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





Danny


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## osprey2 (Apr 15, 2015)

KC5TPY said:


> Hello.  I can't get armadillo here and the road kill here makes for pretty slim pickings!  Have you tasted Wade's food??  Smoked air is his best dish!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Danny you have summed it up !! Not meant to be a chat room, a light hearted corner of our world

Wade boiling water  using liquid smoke?   Do you realise we both come from Kent


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## kc5tpy (Apr 15, 2015)

That's ok Dave.  I won't tell anyone.  Your secret is safe with me.  After all you moved to Wales and learned better.

Danny


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## wade (Apr 15, 2015)

KC5TPY said:


> So long as we only allow Wade to give advice on how to boil water, all is good.  I hear he uses liquid smoke.


Liquid smoke? What is that?













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__ wade
__ Apr 15, 2015






Oh yes - that bottle you lent me to try last time I saw you


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## osprey2 (Apr 15, 2015)

Wade, he can't help it.

Oh by the way, why I started this thread

Just any c rap in here

I start work at the airport monday morning !!!


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## osprey2 (Apr 15, 2015)

>





KC5TPY said:


> I am a muppet.
> 
> S
> 
> ...


I didn't say it, Wade didn't say it YOU said IT !!


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## kc5tpy (Apr 15, 2015)

DOG GONE IT WADE!!  When I gave you that bottle you PROMISED  you would keep it a secret!  Now every one will be using it!  What do we do now??  How can we be the "smoking gurus" when they know our secret??  Next thing you are gonna tell 'em about the Tesco ribs!  You know you can go off a person.  Ya can;t give ;em ALL the secrets!  How are we gonna make folks believe we are one with the GREAT SMOKING GODS when you tell them we are using Tesco ribs heated in the microwave??    Jeesh!  What were you thinking??

Danny


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## osprey2 (Apr 16, 2015)

KC5TPY said:


> DOG GONE IT WADE!!  When I gave you that bottle you PROMISED  you would keep it a secret!  Now every one will be using it!  What do we do now??  How can we be the "smoking gurus" when they know our secret??  Next thing you are gonna tell 'em about the Tesco ribs!  You know you can go off a person.  Ya can;t give ;em ALL the secrets!  How are we gonna make folks believe we are one with the GREAT SMOKING GODS when you tell them we are using Tesco ribs heated in the microwave??    Jeesh!  What were you thinking??
> 
> Danny


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## smokewood (Apr 16, 2015)

Smoked butter, Armadillo, road kill, boiling water and dogs that have gone..........this thread has got me all confused., where are we going with this, go on Dave give us a clue


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## smokewood (Apr 16, 2015)

I am looking forward to tomorrow as the new Aaron Franklin book should be delivered.


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## kc5tpy (Apr 16, 2015)

Hi SW.  This is just a blowin smoke/takin tha piss thread.  Get with the program SW! We are just takin tha piss out of everyone!  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





   Hey mate. we are all targets!  Look at what they have done to me.  And all I have tried to do is bring these heathens into the world of smoking food.  See how they treat me??

Who is*this Franklin dude ??  I have heard his name on here before along with some other joker called nixon or what ever.  Who made these fools the smoking gods??  You think they got game?  BRING IT !!  I'll learn 'em sumthin!  I ain't scared!  To put it in redneck speak.  Hey. we've got bearcarver, oldschoolbbq, foamheart. ect, ect heck we even have Wade.  Well; maybe not Wade,   but I'll put these up against Nixon /Frankenstein any day!

SW.  Don't knock armadillo or rattlesnake till you tried it!  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





Danny


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## wade (Apr 17, 2015)

I have not tried armadillo but I can vouch for rattlesnake being good.


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## smokewood (Apr 17, 2015)

Hey, it was late at night and I was tired, give a humble wood-chopper a break!I I have not tried armadillo, but snake is pretty good, ostrich is tasty but the legs can be a bit tricky


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## osprey2 (Apr 17, 2015)

I find crocodile a bit snappy !


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## wade (Apr 17, 2015)

Gater... Now that tastes just like chicken


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## osprey2 (Apr 17, 2015)

Might have to go to Iceland, they got gator burgers in there.


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## instamatt (Apr 17, 2015)

You can smoke butter? If I tried i'm dam sure it would melt! 
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






  8<|;o)

M


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## osprey2 (Apr 17, 2015)

InstaMatt said:


> You can smoke butter? If I tried i'm dam sure it would melt!
> 
> 
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Alchamy  I believe !!

Oh yeah spell checker don't work on here


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## osprey2 (Apr 17, 2015)

Just walked down the beach and back, knackered


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## kc5tpy (Apr 17, 2015)

It's all about patience grasshopper.  And temp control.  Butter, salt, nuts, lettuce, salad dressing, mayo, gravy; it can all be smoked!  These guys come up with all kinds of ideas.

Danny


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## smokewood (Apr 17, 2015)

Have they really got Gator Burgers in Iceland, or are you extracting the urine!


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## smokewood (Apr 17, 2015)

Osprey2 said:


> Just walked down the beach and back, knackered


If I had to walk down to the beach is would take me about a week............and then back again!


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## smokewood (Apr 17, 2015)

KC5TPY said:


> It's all about patience grasshopper.  And temp control.  Butter, salt, nuts, lettuce, salad dressing, mayo, gravy; it can all be smoked!  These guys come up with all kinds of ideas.
> 
> Danny


I tried Samosas a couple of days ago, I should have cold smoked them, as I kinda singed the pastry, still tasted OK, apart from the black bits


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## kc5tpy (Apr 18, 2015)

Hey!  What's a few black bits among friends??

Danny


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## smokin monkey (Apr 18, 2015)

KC5TPY said:


> Hi SW.  This is just a blowin smoke/takin tha piss thread.  Get with the program SW! We are just takin tha piss out of everyone!  :ROTF   Hey mate. we are all targets!  Look at what they have done to me.  And all I have tried to do is bring these heathens into the world of smoking food.  See how they treat me??
> 
> Who is*this Franklin dude ??  I have heard his name on here before along with some other joker called nixon or what ever.  Who made these fools the smoking gods??  You think they got game?  BRING IT !!  I'll learn 'em sumthin!  I ain't scared!  To put it in redneck speak.  Hey. we've got bearcarver, oldschoolbbq, foamheart. ect, ect heck we even have Wade.  Well; maybe not Wade,   but I'll put these up against Nixon /Frankenstein any day!
> 
> ...



look what i found on Amazon, when i was looking Franklins Book.













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__ smokin monkey
__ Apr 18, 2015






they reckon is sold out, waiting re-print  :ROTF 

Smokin Monkey


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## osprey2 (Apr 18, 2015)

Smokin Monkey said:


> look what i found on Amazon, when i was looking Franklins Book.
> 
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> ...


Nice one SM


smokewood said:


> Have they really got Gator Burgers in Iceland, or are you extracting the urine!


YES !! As well as Skippy burgers

https://www.iceland.co.uk/speciality-meat-and-fish/speciality-meat/


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## wade (Apr 18, 2015)

No. Danny is way too important to pose for his own photos. For the cover of his book they brought on a body double. He wasn't quite identical so as you see they got him to wear a big hat.


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## osprey2 (Apr 18, 2015)

smokewood said:


> Have they really got Gator Burgers in Iceland, or are you extracting the urine!





Smokin Monkey said:


> look what i found on Amazon, when i was looking Franklins Book.
> 
> 
> 
> ...





Wade said:


> No. Danny is way too important to pose for his own photos. For the cover of his book they brought on a body double. He wasn't quite identical so as you see they got him to wear a big hat.


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## smokewood (Apr 18, 2015)

Smokin Monkey said:


> look what i found on Amazon, when i was looking Franklins Book.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


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## kc5tpy (Apr 18, 2015)

You know. if I had feelings I could be hurt by all this abuse.  You guys are just jealous cause you haven't gotten to try armadillo.

Danny


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## osprey2 (Apr 18, 2015)

Armadillo, smooth on the inside, crunchy on the out side


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## wade (Apr 19, 2015)

I bought some Wagyu beef mince from Waitrose the other day and made burgers out of it. It tasted...... just like any other good quality beef.

Probably only worth buying if you are trying to impress royalty.


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## smokewood (Apr 19, 2015)

Wade said:


> I bought some Wagyu beef mince from Waitrose the other day and made burgers out of it. It tasted...... just like any other good quality beef.
> 
> Probably only worth buying if you are trying to impress royalty.


That's my secret out, I've got Nana Liz & Phil the Greek popping round for  a spot of lunch.

Heels together chaps, heels together.


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## smokin monkey (Apr 24, 2015)

Sorry Danny, seen as your book is out of Print at the moment, i needed some Bedtime Reading!













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__ Apr 24, 2015






Smokin Monkey [emoji]133660013031[/emoji] Thumbs Up


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## kc5tpy (Apr 24, 2015)

HMMM.  Didn't Hitler and the Unabomber write one of them manifesto things??  I think Charlie Manson was also working on one.   
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





   Just askin!

Danny


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## kc5tpy (Apr 24, 2015)

My money is still on the SMF members.  I can PM Wade, Bearcarver, Foamheart, MrT, Chef Jimmy, etc., etc., etc. and get PERSONAL attention.  Get THAT from Aaron Franklin, "BBQ Guru".  Keep Smokin!

Danny

Autographed copies will be on sale at the Smoking Weekend for £59.95.


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## smokin monkey (Apr 25, 2015)

KC5TPY said:


> My money is still on the SMF members.  I can PM Wade, Bearcarver, Foamheart, MrT, Chef Jimmy, etc., etc., etc. and get PERSONAL attention.  Get THAT from Aaron Franklin, "BBQ Guru".  Keep Smokin!
> Danny
> 
> Autographed copies will be on sale at the Smoking Weekend for £59.95.



Put me down for one!


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## smokewood (Apr 27, 2015)

On the subject of recipe's, I have decided to add a recipe blog on my website to try and encourage more people to be more adventurous with BBQ & Smoking. 

If anyone wants to submit a recipe I am more than happy to publish it.  All recipes submitted must be accompanied with a photo of the finished dish, In addition,  I will be adding the authors details  and also a direct link from the recipe to either their website (a bit of promotion for them), or to SMF (and a bit of promotion for us), where hopefully it will attract more members to the forums.

If you are interested in submitting a recipe, send me a pm and I will let you know where to send the recipe.


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## osprey2 (May 9, 2015)

Don't mess with a mandolin













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## kc5tpy (May 9, 2015)

Hello Dave.  YEP!  Those things are EVIL!  Saw one get Rick Stein.  I recently bought an electric knife sharpener.  After proudly sharpening everything I could find; second time I used a knife I took off a piece of my thumb!  Don't worry about it.  A little extra protein in the food!  It'll be fine!  
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






   Keep Smokin!

Danny


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## osprey2 (May 9, 2015)

KC5TPY said:


> Hello Dave.  YEP!  Those things are EVIL!  Saw one get Rick Stein.  I recently bought an electric knife sharpener.  After proudly sharpening everything I could find; second time I used a knife I took off a piece of my thumb!  Don't worry about it.  A little extra protein in the food!  It'll be fine!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Certainly hurts like hell.

How am I going to break passengers bags tomorrow ??


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## smokin monkey (May 9, 2015)

Just Tap Dance on them with your Sizes 9'S.  :ROTF

That's going to throb tonight, might need a drink to ease the Pain!

Smokin Monkey [emoji]133660013031[/emoji]


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## kc5tpy (May 9, 2015)

Hey!  I TOTALLY agree!  The best thing for the pain is alcohol.  Maybe Jack Daniels?  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





   Keep Smokin!

Danny


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## osprey2 (May 25, 2015)

Looking and feeling better. Still a pain chucking bags though !!


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## kc5tpy (May 25, 2015)

Hey Dave.  MAN UP!  That's why they pay you the BIG money!  It's only a little BOO BOO!  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





   But it hurts like HE** doesn't it?  I sympathize with you buddy.  Keep Smokin!

Danny


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## osprey2 (May 25, 2015)

KC5TPY said:


> Hey Dave.  MAN UP!  That's why they pay you the BIG money!  It's only a little BOO BOO!
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Thats what I like about you lot. No sympathy, but a good micky take.


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## kc5tpy (May 25, 2015)

Hey!  We love ya Dave!  Put your arm in a sling and get your A** up here for the smoking weekend!  About time we met!

Keep Smokin!

Danny


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## osprey2 (May 26, 2015)

Wish I could, looks like I will be on shift all that weekend. We don't get any holiday, they pay us two weeks at the end of the contract.

Might pay a visit when we both have a week off.


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## kc5tpy (May 26, 2015)

Hey!  Let me know buddy.  We can work something out.  You will be missed at the weekend.

Danny


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## osprey2 (Jun 2, 2015)

Saw the consultant today. Why do they cause you more pain.Both knees have torn meniscus cartilage, and need an op, break leg, cut a wedge of bone out.
Waiting list is 52 weeks !! A year of more pain !!


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## smokin monkey (Jun 2, 2015)

Ouch! [emoji]128557[/emoji]


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## osprey2 (Jun 4, 2015)

Might as well say it here SIGH !!

We are going to be GRANDPARENTS !

Not the way we would have liked but HEY HO


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## kc5tpy (Jun 5, 2015)

Hi Dave.  We went through that with both daughters.  Yeah!  It aint an ideal situation.  But both kids are great!  After talking to the kids it seems to be the norm now.  APPARENTLY now when you meet someone you are interested in and start to get to know them one of the first questions you ask is "how many kids do you have".  Apparently we are dinosaurs Dave.  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





   BUT!  You will be fall in love with that Grand baby.  CONGRATS! buddy.


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## smokin monkey (Jun 5, 2015)

Hi Dave, congrats on the news.

Found out a while back that I am going to be a Granparent as well!

I was asked what I would liked to be called by him, my reply, Sir or Grumpa!

Smokin Monkey


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## osprey2 (Jun 5, 2015)

Smokin Monkey said:


> Hi Dave, congrats on the news.
> 
> Found out a while back that I am going to be a Granparent as well!
> 
> ...


Congrats mate

Welsh for grandad is Bampy ? F Off !!  Granda will do.


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## smokin monkey (Jun 5, 2015)

Osprey2 said:


> Congrats mate
> Welsh for grandad is Bampy ? F Off !!  Granda will do.



diolch i chi Bampy!


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## osprey2 (Jun 5, 2015)

Smokin Monkey said:


> diolch i chi Bampy!


Oi Im from Wades way, he is from peasant country


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## smokin monkey (Jun 5, 2015)

Wade's not going to be happy with you calling him a Peasant!!


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## wade (Jun 5, 2015)

Didn't you hear? Us peasants have been revolting for centuries


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## smokin monkey (Jun 5, 2015)

Wade's awake, It's either food time, or home help has arrived to put Wade to bed!


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## smokin monkey (Jun 5, 2015)

Wade, ordered another one of them controller with 1/2 inch BSP a Connector, fitted ball valves between fan and smoker, and smoker temp is spot on!


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## osprey2 (Jun 5, 2015)

Smokin Monkey said:


> Wade's awake, It's either food time, or home help has arrived to put Wade to bed!


And you have a go at me ??

Monkey is about right for you mate ! quote Danny( JUST SAYING) !!!


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## smokin monkey (Jun 5, 2015)

Banter is good!!!

This is why I've started this http://www.smokingmeatforums.com/t/201488/banter


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## smokewood (Jun 7, 2015)

Osprey2 said:


> Saw the consultant today. Why do they cause you more pain.Both knees have torn meniscus cartilage, and need an op, break leg, cut a wedge of bone out.
> Waiting list is 52 weeks !! A year of more pain !!


Hi Dave, 

I would see a different consultant.  The majority of menisectomy's are done keyhole these days, whereby they only trim the meniscus.  Even for an "open" menisectomy where the procedure in not carried out through keyhole surgery they do not actually break the leg, (as in fracture it) they, they will make the incision, and either trim or remove the meniscus that way.  As the operation is an "open" procedure, recovery times are longer.  

so you should be able to do light duties after 1 week, and fully mobile within 4 weeks. 

On a lighter note, congrats on your great news, kids over a certain age will always do it their way as they know best !!......I am sure we did !!   

It's tough bringing kids up, but as long you are there for them that's all that matters.  The great thing about being a grand-dad is that you can give them back!!


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## kiska95 (Jun 7, 2015)

Look at it this way its a home made junior apprentice Quer that will adore everything gramps does while ignoring dad, win win!


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## kiska95 (Jun 7, 2015)

Congrats by the way:)


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## osprey2 (Jun 7, 2015)

smokewood said:


> Hi Dave,
> 
> I would see a different consultant.  The majority of menisectomy's are done keyhole these days, whereby they only trim the meniscus.  Even for an "open" menisectomy where the procedure in not carried out through keyhole surgery they do not actually break the leg, (as in fracture it) they, they will make the incision, and either trim or remove the meniscus that way.  As the operation is an "open" procedure, recovery times are longer.
> 
> ...


Hi Smokewood

I have had that twice and they are both torn. The breaking of the leg is Tibial Ostectom, http://www.kneesociety.org/web/patienteducation_osteo.html


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## smokewood (Jun 7, 2015)

Got You Osprey, You are opting for the whole shooting match with a Tibial Osteotomy.  It's going to be a long haul on recovery, and please don't overdo it post op and try to rush the recovery phase, otherwise  you will do more damage in the long run.  

It is always worth leaving a message with the surgeon (or their secretary) and let them know that you are prepared to undergo surgery at short notice if there is a cancellation, by doing that you can sometimes have your surgery earlier.  

That;s my mother hen bit over.

Best Wishes


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## kiska95 (Jun 7, 2015)

Thoughts with you mate. had a hip replacement couple of years ago when i was living in Spain had it done in Exeter. but with right attitude and physio was back to work in 2 weeks desk bound mind you and very careful.
You will be fine im sure of it good luck


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## osprey2 (Jul 8, 2015)

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__ Jul 8, 2015


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## smokin monkey (Jul 8, 2015)

Thumbs Up


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## smokewood (Jul 8, 2015)

Classic, that's one for tomorrow


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## osprey2 (Jul 19, 2015)

Went to say farewell to an old friend today













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__ Jul 19, 2015






Old girl done us proud


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## osprey2 (Jul 28, 2015)

OK I have some horrid shifts this week catch you all laters


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## smokewood (Jul 28, 2015)

Is that a Vulcan ?


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## ukcommando (Jul 28, 2015)

nice plane, the old nuclear bomber, me and the lad went to see her on the round britain fly past a few weeks ago, great vantage point above lake windermere...well it would have been if the dam plane wasnt at 5000 feet lol

lee


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## kiska95 (Jul 29, 2015)

Hi

We have the Avro Vulcan B2, XL 319  that served with the Dam Buster squadron (617?) parked outside of Nissan Car plant up here at Sunderland. Used to love to see them at Sunderland air show.


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## smokewood (Jul 29, 2015)

At the start of the Falklands War they flew an epic non stop journey down to the Falklands to bomb Port Stanley Airfield ......... 

and missed  
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






.


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## osprey2 (Jul 29, 2015)

smokewood said:


> At the start of the Falklands War they flew an epic non stop journey down to the Falklands to bomb Port Stanley Airfield .........
> 
> and missed
> 
> ...


Out of all the bombs dropped two hit the runway, which was good going for that 'old' girl. Mind you, the holes she left were huge, I have a picture somewhere of me in a bomb crater down there.

The sister ship to SS Great Britain is down in Stanley.


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## smokin monkey (Jul 29, 2015)

My Lad took this last week, flying over Lincoln.













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__ smokin monkey
__ Jul 29, 2015


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## ukcommando (Jul 29, 2015)

smokewood said:


> At the start of the Falklands War they flew an epic non stop journey down to the Falklands to bomb Port Stanley Airfield .........
> 
> and missed
> 
> ...


i think it was from ascension island not uk, could be wrong..


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## smokewood (Jul 29, 2015)

ukcommando said:


> i think it was from ascension island not uk, could be wrong..


No you are right, I sit corrected it was from Ascension.


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