# Southern Rules



## blackhawk19 (Nov 11, 2007)

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like  an  idiot. 

 2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't  crooked. 

 3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road."  I drive a  pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you  drive, you're going  to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of  the way. 

 4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They  smell like  money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I- 40 goes  east  and west,  I-55 goes north  and south. Pick one. 

 5. So  you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000  cotton pickers that  are driven only 3 weeks a year. 

 6. So every person in the south  waves. It's called being friendly.  Try to  understand the concept. 

 7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we  WILL    shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have  it up to your ear at   the time. 

 8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want  sushi &  caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop. 

 9.  The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a  religious    holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of  November. 

 10. We  open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless  of    age. 

 11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order  steak. Or  you can  order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham &  turkey. 

 12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes:  meats,  vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper,  and ketchup!  Oh,  yeah.... We don't care what you folks in  Cincinnati  call   that stuff you  eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!! 

 13. You  bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and  served over  ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute,  know how  to shoot,  drive a truck, and have long hair. 

 14. College and High School Football is as  important here as the  Lakers and  the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to  watch. 

 15. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water  hazards -- it  spooks  the fish. 

 16. Colleges? We have them all  over. We have State Universities ,  Universities, and Vo-techs.  They come outta there with an education plus a  love for God  and country, and  they still wave at everybody when they  come home for the  holidays. 

 17. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So  don't    mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the  best. 

 18.  Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't  music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your  boxers!    Refer back to #1!


----------



## rip (Nov 11, 2007)

Yep, that pretty much covers it. Oh yeah and we say sir and mam!


----------



## walking dude (Nov 11, 2007)

and take off our hats at the supper table......remove em in front of a lady......pretty much covers it


d88de


----------



## coleysmokinbbq (Nov 12, 2007)

Ditto!...and DOUBLE Ditto!!...


----------



## homebrew & bbq (Nov 12, 2007)

I think most folks out here on the plains would agree with those rules. 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





This might serve as a "special circumstances" addition. 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	








http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/H...lesdating.html


----------



## deejaydebi (Nov 12, 2007)

And they are good rules too!


----------



## jm21 (Nov 12, 2007)

Hmm...we've got most of those here in the NW, but could use a few more...

I've heard the sir and ma'am thing a couple times but still don't get it...like, do you say it to older folk, or to everyone, or what? Guess I'd be rude down south 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





.


----------



## chris_harper (Nov 13, 2007)

lol, I have a female friend from New Jersey. When she first moved here, she was tripping because everyone called her "ma'am". She was like, "I am not old" . She told me they only call women over 50 ma'am where she is from. I told her to expect it here; plus all my friends removed their caps when I introduced them to her, and she was surprised by that.


----------



## walking dude (Nov 13, 2007)

in my job......i lay vinyl floors.......i have ALWAYS called my customers sir or mam..........a few would get on me and tell me to call them by their givin name........but i have found thru the years.........you CAN'T go wrong by addressing someone you don't know sir or mam.............now the people i KNOW...........LOOK OUT.........anything from you SOB.......to dirty ol B*stard........ehehehe


d88de


----------



## cowgirl (Nov 13, 2007)

Good post Blackhawk.


----------



## skinnerc06 (Nov 13, 2007)

Anyone agree with this rule?  Down here, if someone offers you food, EAT IT!  If it was cooked south of the mason-dixon, I can assure you it will be good.  I for one don't care about your diet.  Also, the tea is sweet.  Thats final.


----------

