# Flying Rules



## ultramag (Dec 24, 2006)

* Flying Rules*


         Yea though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall 
     Fear No Evil For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing!
     (Sign over the entrance to the old SR-71 operating 
      base, Kadena, Japan)

     -------------------------------------------- 
     You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.
     (Paul F Crickmore - test pilot)
     ------------------------------------------- 
     The only time you have too much fuel is when you're 
     on fire.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the 
     ocean than submarines in the sky.
     (From an old carrier sailor)
     -------------------------------------------- 
     If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's 
     probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you 
     always have enough power left to get you to the scene 
     of the crash.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another 
     expensive flying club.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     What is the similarity between air traffic controllers 
     and pilots?
     If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up,
     the pilot dies.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Never trade luck for skill.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     The three most common expressions (or famous last 
     words) in aviation are "Why is it doing that?"
     "Where are we?" and "Oh Sh*t!"
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can 
     get a pilot pregnant.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Airspeed, altitude and brains: Two are always needed 
     to successfully complete the flight.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck;
     three in a row is prevarication.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Humankind has a perfect record in aviation.
     We never left one up there!
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a 
     flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your 
     plight to a person on the ground incapable of 
     understanding or doing anything about it.  
     -------------------------------------------- 
     When a flight is proceeding incredibly well,
     something was forgotten.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Just remember, if you crash because of weather,
     your funeral will be held on a sunny day.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Advice given to RAF pilots during WWII when a prang 
     (crash) seems inevitable,  endeavor to strike the 
     softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slow and 
     gently as possible.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it 
     can just barely kill you.
     (Attributed to Max Stanley, Northrop test pilot)
     -------------------------------------------- 
     A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying 
     his plane to its maximum.
     (Jon McBride, astronaut)
     -------------------------------------------- 
     If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as 
     far into the crash as possible.
     (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
     -------------------------------------------- 
     If an airplane is still in one piece, don't cheat on it! 
     Ride the bastard down!
     (Ernest K Gann, author & aviator)
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver 
     than you.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in 
     peacetime.  
     (Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, 
     AZ, 1970)
     -------------------------------------------- 
     "What is the purpose of the propeller? The purpose of 
     the propeller is to keep the pilot cool. You don't believe 
     that? If the propeller stops, watch how the pilot starts 
     to sweat".
     -------------------------------------------- 
     The two best things in life are a good landing and a
      good bowel movement.  The night carrier landing is one 
     of the few opportunities in life where you get to 
     experience both at the same time.  
     (Author unknown, but surely someone who's been there)
     -------------------------------------------- 
     If something hasn't broken on your helicopter,
     it's about to.
     -------------------------------------------- 
     Basic Flying Rules: Try to stay in the middle of the air, 
     do not go near the edges of it The edges of the air 
     can be recognized by the appearance of ground, 
     buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space it is much 
     more difficult to fly there.
     --------------------------------------------
     You know that your landing gear is up and locked when 
     it takes full power to taxi to the terminal


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## Dutch (Dec 24, 2006)

And why are airplane drivers called pilots???

'Cuz when they crash, they pile it here and they pile it there. . .:roll:


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## canuck (Jan 23, 2007)

If you ever have to make an emergency
landing at night make sure your landing
lights are on and if you dont like what your
makeshift landing strip looks like
turn your lights off


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## ultramag (Jan 23, 2007)

Canuck, that reminds me of my Dad talking about landing C-130's in the white outs in Antarctica. They would come in on instruments and basically descend until they "felt something bump the underside" then set her down. Guess theres probably not much to hit but penguins down there. Still had to be nerve racking at best I would think.


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## canuck (Jan 23, 2007)

Ultramag

I'm just starting to fly myself, I'm studying 
for my ultralights pilot permit.
I havent had any of those landings and I'm not looking forward to any of them either


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## dgross (Jan 23, 2007)

My hubby used to fly when we 1st met and he still loves aviation! Good luck on your lessons!! Daun


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## pyre (Jan 26, 2007)

Landing on a carrier at night has got to be one of the scariest things ever.  Those things move in the ocean, it's not like landing on ground.


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## starsfaninco (Jan 26, 2007)

I was a Quartermaster (navigation, not storekeeper:) ) on the Abraham Lincoln CVN-72 back in 1990-1992, and got to see many, many carrier landings (night and day).  The most amusing things you see are pilots in their ready rooms after particularly 'interesting' landings.  Pale, sweating, not real hungry, and a little jumpy are the signs you mostly see.  The Air Boss (CAG) had flight ops quarters right below the navigation bridge, and I used to hang out there some.  He loved to have his junior pilots come report to him after their landings to go over mistakes and triumphs.  Very fatherly in most respects, but some very funny quotes came out of that office (I just don't remember any...).

KE


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