# Tuesday Assortment



## sawhorseray (Apr 13, 2021)

1915 Rules For Teachers

1. You will not marry during the term of your contract.                                                                       
2. You are not to keep company with men.          
 3. You must be home between the hours of  8PM & 6AM unless attending a school function.
4. You may not loiter downtown in ice cream stores.                                                                          
5. You may not travel beyond city limits unless you have the permission of the chairman of the board.   
 6. You may not ride in a carriage or automobile with any man unless he is your father or brother.     
7. You may not smoke cigarettes.                          
8. You  may  not dress in bright colors.                
 9. You may not under any  circumstances dye your hair.                                                                     
10. You  must wear at least two petticoats.         
11. Your dresses must not be any shorter than two inches above the ankle.                                     
12. To keep the school room neat &  clean, you must:  sweep the floor at least once daily,  scrub the floor at least once a week with hot soapy water,  clean the blackboards once daily and start the fire at 7AM so the room will be warm by 8 AM.


*An Irishman's first drink with his son:*

"While reading an article  last night about fathers and the sons, memories came flooding back to the time I  took me son out for his first pint.

"Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.

"I got him a Guinness.  He didn't like it, so I drank it.

"Then I got him a  Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it. Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager?

"He didn't.  I drank it

"I thought maybe he'd like whisky better than beer so we tried a Jameson's; nope!

"In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast , Ireland 's finest  whisky.

"He wouldn't even smell it.

"What could I do but drink it!

"By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so shit-faced I could hardly push his stroller back home!"


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## 912smoker (Apr 13, 2021)

Good ones Ray thanks for sharing !


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## 6GRILLZNTN (Apr 13, 2021)

As usual, they’re all great. Thanks for sharing.
Dave


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## robrpb (Apr 13, 2021)

Good ones Ray.

Rob


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## JLeonard (Apr 13, 2021)

As a nurse I especially liked the last one. Thanks Ray for the chuckles!


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## GaryHibbert (Apr 13, 2021)

These are great, Ray.  Love the "Get up in the morning" one--so true.  Sigh.
Gary


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## MJB05615 (Apr 13, 2021)

All excellent, Ray!  Thank you for restarting along with the Forum.  Favorite was " I don't always roll a joint, but when I do it's my ankle"  Too funny.  Glad you haven't lost a beat with the lost week.  Stay safe my friend.


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## jmusser (Apr 14, 2021)

Good stuff Ray!


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