# 4 Your Thursday... or Whatever!



## sawhorseray (Jun 2, 2021)

How children perceive their Grandparents:


1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.


2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"


3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"


4. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandpa, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.


5. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."


6. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"


7. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."


8.. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm 4 to 6."


9. .. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting." she said... "How do you make babies? "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."


10.. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."


11. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck.. "
A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."


12. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."


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## chef jimmyj (Jun 3, 2021)

I used to love the Dinosaur Exibit at any museum. I love the the Other Displays as well!☺...JJ


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## GATOR240 (Jun 3, 2021)

chef jimmyj said:


> I used to love the Dinosaur Exibit at any museum. I love the the Other Displays as well!☺...JJ


What dinosaur exhibit??


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## smokeymose (Jun 3, 2021)

As an Operations Manager the last 12 years of my employed life I was responsible for hiring (and firing).
The construction ad is priceless....


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## MJB05615 (Jun 3, 2021)

All very good ones, Ray.  The construction ad is hilarious.  Pertains to other professions too.


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## chef jimmyj (Jun 3, 2021)

smokeymose said:


> As an Operations Manager the last 12 years of my employed life I was responsible for hiring (and firing).
> The construction ad is priceless....



My SIL works for a Saw Mill in town. He will take a random day off at will. Some days he will get dropped off home at lunch, he and the driver decided to take the rest of the day off. He is generally on time but if running late, says it is no big deal. I asked about his antics and was told, " Everybody does it..." Apparently getting, strong enough to do the job, employees is extremely difficult so the company puts up with a lot of BULLS#!T from existing employees to keep them. How the company can make order deadlines is beyond me. We are taking premium Hardwood so it must be profitable enough, at todays prices, to put up with the employees games...JJ


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## GonnaSmoke (Jun 3, 2021)

Ray, these are all great and funny as all...well you know ....

Except this one, Red Dawn. It's scary because it could very well be true.....


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## smokeymose (Jun 3, 2021)

chef jimmyj said:


> My SIL works for a Saw Mill in town. He will take a random day off at will. Some days he will get dropped off home at lunch, he and the driver decided to take the rest of the day off. He is generally on time but if running late, says it is no big deal. I asked about his antics and was told, " Everybody does it..." Apparently getting, strong enough to do the job, employees is extremely difficult so the company puts up with a lot of BULLS#!T from existing employees to keep them. How the company can make order deadlines is beyond me. We are taking premium Hardwood so it must be profitable enough, at todays prices, to put up with the employees games...JJ


Yeah, you get to where you're so desperate for help you'll put up with a lot. I got to the point that if you had a valid drivers license, your own car, could read, write and do simple arithmetic you're hired. I was starting people at $12 -$15 an hour 3 years ago and at some venues they got $20 plus. Medical Insurance, 5 paid holidays, 4 paid "personal days" , paid vacation and a very generous 401K plan. Many couldn't deal with the hours and you might be surprised how many don't have a drivers license. The cell phone thing drove me batty!
The trade show/convention industry got hit HARD by the pandemic. The company squeaked through and shows are coming back.
Talking with the owner, his biggest worry is finding help....


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## GaryHibbert (Jun 3, 2021)

Some really good ones here, Ray.  The first one is really cute.  The dog wanting in, sounds like my house.  The Dumbest guy in the World is hilarious.  But the Construction Ad is just too true to be funny.  Just me saying.    
Gary


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## GaryHibbert (Jun 3, 2021)

chef jimmyj said:


> My SIL works for a Saw Mill in town. He will take a random day off at will. Some days he will get dropped off home at lunch, he and the driver decided to take the rest of the day off. He is generally on time but if running late, says it is no big deal. I asked about his antics and was told, " Everybody does it..." Apparently getting, strong enough to do the job, employees is extremely difficult so the company puts up with a lot of BULLS#!T from existing employees to keep them. How the company can make order deadlines is beyond me. We are taking premium Hardwood so it must be profitable enough, at todays prices, to put up with the employees games...JJ



So true, JJ.  But in the case of a saw mill, there's a simple fix.  During this ridiculous price increase in lumber, all the profit is being kept by the mills.  Up here, the mills are paying the same rate to logging contractors and log trucks as they were 2 years ago.  West Fraser Mill's profit has jumped approx 2500%, and they're just laughing.  So all the saw mills have to do is offer a big increase in pay and fire all their existing workers.  They'll be flooded with applicants.  Problem solved.
Gary


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## Lant-ern (Jun 4, 2021)

Ray another week of smiles.Thank you...Ernie


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## Smokin' in AZ (Jun 5, 2021)

Another bunch of good ones Ray.

LIKE!

John


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