# I'm going to be away for a while.



## smokedcaveman (Sep 7, 2008)

I'm sorry to say, guys, but Today's hitting me hard. It would have been M and my 2 year anniversary. We're not even speaking, and I really feel like my life is totally out of order, and a complete wreck, so I'm going to be taking some time to get my head straight. I've never had a female mess me up like this before, and I've been asking myself for who knows how long where things went wrong, living the part of the lovesick and heartbroken fool. I don't know when I'll be back, if I come back (doesn't mean I will or won't) or if I'll even be the same person when I do. 

 I'll probably check in in a few days, depending on how I feel, but for right now...(shrugs) I feel like I've had a lover's quarrel with life itself, and nothing seems 'right' anymore. 

 So I wanted to let you guys know, before I just vanished and you guys wondered if I died or something. I'm so messed up, I'm not even smoking meat right now.


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## richoso1 (Sep 7, 2008)

Sorry to hear about the relationship, you'll have to take it one day at a time. As far as your head being messed up, I've gone through that and found that some counseling really helped me. Sometimes it's good to know if you're doing something right or wrong. If you keep in touch with the friends in your life, it does help, even if they don't offer help or take a side. I sincerely hope things work out for you. Keep your head up, it makes watching a new sunrise a little easier.


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## supervman (Sep 7, 2008)

Ah, lots of fish in the sea. It just wasn't right this time. 
Keep on fishing. 
It'll be OK. 
Chin up, pull a smoke, call a friend or two.


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## smokedcaveman (Sep 7, 2008)

thanks guys. I appreciate the support.

Supervman...there may be a lot of fish in the sea, but who wants to date a fish? (note, this is intended to be a semihumorous statement, and not cranky sarcasm. I'm having trouble telling the difference of how it's coming out right now.)


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## erain (Sep 7, 2008)

sorry to hear caveman, do what you need to do to get your life back on track and hopefully the other pieces will fall into place as well. if you need to take some time off from here to get that accomplished then by all means go for it. remember though if ever in need of some support or just plain chat or look at posts to take mind off probs for a bit, dont forget we are here to help and assist when possible. none of our lives are perfect and i think i can safley say we all have gone through probs at one time or another in our lives. so keep your attitude up and have a daily routine to follow to base yourself from. wishing you the best of luck and hope all turns out well and we see ya again sooner than later


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## travcoman45 (Sep 7, 2008)

One needs ta clear there head sometimes, ya do what ya have ta.

When yer ready, just remember, there's always a stump fer ya, sit down pop the top on yer favorite cool one an enjoy a smoke an some good friends down in the holler.

Good luck.


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## capt dan (Sep 7, 2008)

Hang in there buddy. It'll work out, It has to, and always will. Things happen for a reason. No matter who's fault or why,  just step back and  take a time out. We'll be here when ya need us.


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## oldschoolbbq (Sep 17, 2008)

I think I may be of some help. I have experience in relationships; I've been married (5) times, so that makes me an expert dosen't it? Anyway, if you need some counseling, give a ring at 555-she's the loser!!!

 For real though, don't be stupid and do anything outrageous. If yer a church goin  man, see yer Parson, he's always a good start.

 Here's to ya, I know the feeling!


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## justsmoke2 (Sep 17, 2008)

Well you could do what we did for my brother.  We had a bachalor party seemed to perk him right up.  Hope the best for ya.


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## morkdach (Sep 17, 2008)

what he said^ life is short take care of your health and your loved ones all the rest will come to you in time take care time will heal.


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## smokedcaveman (Sep 18, 2008)

yeah, I'm getting back to working out some, lifting some weights, trying to get my diet straight, and concentrating on college.  If she's wanting to miss out, then...she can miss out. She knows where to find me, and she knows what she has to do for things to be straight.

and since I'm going to be working out more and eating like a fiend, I'll probably be smoking more than reading about it. I'm already processing and eating jerky so regularly that I can't remember to get q-view of it.


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## mulepackin (Sep 18, 2008)

Hang tough Caveman. Get to where you are around those things and or people you can depend on, be comfortable around and support you. Things usually work out as they were meant to be, its often just a damn long rough road to get there. Lots of us pulling for you.


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## phreak (Sep 18, 2008)

when I was in that situation I moved to the beach and spent every free minute fishing, getting drunk, chasing girls, getting drunk, surfing, getting drunk, biking, getting drunk...then I met the woman that stopped me in my tracks and made me realize there's more to life than fishing, surfing and biking.
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





dude, seriously you're in college, get as much [email protected]% as you can, if you don't you'll regret if for the rest of your life.


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## solar (Sep 18, 2008)

Glad you're starting to feel better, your first post had me a little worried.

+1 !!!

My girl and I broke up just before we both left for college, we were in love and thought we would be married, but we knew that we couldn't be apart that long.  Once the clouds cleared, it was the best thing that ever happened to me, I was chasing and being chased by young college girls for a few years.  You need to *get it out of yah *before you settle down with _thee_ girl.  Enjoy your 20's because they will be gone before you know it.


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## supervman (Sep 18, 2008)

Like I said before, GO FISHING, and in College I HIGHLY recommend catch and release! You'll have fun fishing and "EVENTUALLY" you'll find one you don't want to throw back !   because by then you'll know EXACTLY what you want Bro.


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## smokedcaveman (Sep 18, 2008)

hehe....well, my 20's have done gone, I'm a returning student, but still doesn't stop me from fishing. I know what I want, and have for quite a while. gods only know I've seen enough of what I 'don't want' (makes face)

the great irony, she contacted me today, and we had a decent conversation. I told her I'm nto getting involved with her, no second chances, unless the situation changed so much that she proved she was worthwhile.

told her 'look, just because I love you doesnt' mean I have to go along with whatever harebrained bull**** you come up with. It means I'm gonna say no, and if you respect me at all, you're going to accept that.' I'm in no hurry, and if she straightens out (and I've seen enough bs to know if she hadn't), she's the only person I'd give a second chance to. But that doesn't mean I'm going to jump at the chance.

I'm having too much fun letting the college girls chase me as 'the older man'.


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## justsmoke2 (Sep 19, 2008)

Good thing you wasn't in my Boat.  When I iniatially joined the Army I went delayed entry and signed for 2 years.  Well she came back and said we could be married after I get out.  Well Uncle Sam came up with a school called ADM a munitions school.  BUTTTTTT I had to change to a 4 year enlistment but I got to choose where I would serve.  Talked to my fiance that I could get Hawaii and she said go for it.  Well 2 weeks after I changed my enlistment I broke it off with her.  To make a long story short I never got to Hawaii, I never got married to her, I ended up in California, then to Germany.  origionally I wanted to go to Korea to get a kick aZz stereo.  Never got the stereo,  and was stuck doing an extra 2 years.  BUTTTTTT I did find SMF so all was not a lost.


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## azkitch (Sep 19, 2008)

Yes, we've all been there. You have to live your life, and someone that likes the way you live has to go along for the ride--and vise versa. Do as I say, not as I do. Or did.
Anyway, hang tough.


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## cman95 (Sep 19, 2008)

Hang in there man. If it is supposed to be....it will. If not.....so much for the better. Life is too short to be with the wrong person. Hope all works out for you. Now get the TBS going.


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## smokedcaveman (Sep 19, 2008)

I plan on seeing TBS soon. one of my neighbors came over last night and asked if I were dead. 'why?' 'no bbq smoke for over two weeks. What's wrong with you?'

I get a sizeable cheque in about 10 days, so that's going to meat, and I've got two fairly massive deadfall pecan branches/logs to cut down for smoker wood. Mix that with some of my hickory and mesquite I've got sitting by, and get at least a chicken or some ribs or something. I'm starting to get anxious...lol. To deal with the urge, I've been out, practicing my spear-throwing and working on classwork.

Even my local aquainteces are rather like 'you smell like soap, not smoke...are you alright?'


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## mgwerks (Sep 19, 2008)

[counseling hat on]
I'd have to cast my 2 cents in by saying that the basis for a great and healthy relationship always nvolved the word 'mutual'.  Mutual respect, mutual sacrifice, mutual goals and a mutual vision.  The wife and I succeed because we sacrifice for each other - giving up things or doing things for each other without regret.  Sounds like you are probably capable, but she isn't.  Don't give up hope, but don't focus on a search.  Time passes and things will work for you.
[/counseling hat on]


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## smokedcaveman (Sep 19, 2008)

advice noted, although, to be fair, she's not as bad of a person as I'm sure I've made her sound. She's actually pretty decent, when she's not acting strangely, which I know the 'why' of it, but that doesn't mean that the situation is one that we should be in.

So, we're not together until she decides what she really wants.

but I'm not offended, either. I realize I've likely made her sound a right cow, and she's actually not... 98% of the time.


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## lord of the ring (Sep 19, 2008)

I agree with phreak! drink, go fishing, smoke some ribs, chase some skirt, and drink more...  I'm kinda going through something similar right now as we speak.  GF didn't like it that i up'd and moved to the sunshine state.  Took it pretty hard, even though she told me she would move down after i came down here and then reneged on her promise.  I call that a lie.  Now i hang out and play poker and slap bar tenders on the A$$ 4 nights a week and get up at 8:30am to go to work and when i get out i do the whole thing over again.  Maybe i'm masking my real feelings but i find when i occupy my time with "non-thinking" type activities like doing shots, tight lines, pool football, playing texas, drinking, eating wings, drinking, playing poo, shots, playing golden Tee, etc.. i tend to forget about the whole mess.  Good luck with the whole thing and keep your head up, remember all women are crazy and any man that tells you he understands women is a liar.


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## lord of the ring (Sep 19, 2008)

*playing pool!!  not poo i don't even know how one would play poo


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## curious aardvark (Sep 19, 2008)

all sound advice - except the drinking. 
Getting drunk never helped anyone climb out of a hole (dig it deepr sure, get out lol nope). And this has been going on for the best part of this year with SCM and M.
Given SCM's physiologicals, excess alcohol probably not recommended either - ah but he knows that, don't ya mate ? 

The internet's a weird thing - you get a whole bunch of people scattered around the world, sitting round a virtual table in a virtual bar. 
I've been around and met a number of people I've got to know on forums, and I guess the gist of this ramble is that a friends a friend. Whether or not you see them at work every day or exchange the odd comment on line. 

It just so happens that SCM and I frequent two of the same virtual bars, hell he brought me round to this one :-)
And a pastors out ;-)
But keep typing mate, love is one of those things that makes everything right with the world when it's going your way and screws it way the hell up when it goes wrong. 
And yeah it's trite -but it really does help to talk to people. So keep talking :-)
That way we know you're still hanging in there.


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## smokedcaveman (Sep 19, 2008)

yep, I may be 'here and there and over there and all over the place' but I'm going to keep coming back here. It's a nice place to be, and helping a lot. If this were a bar, and I had the cash, I'd buy us all a round anyway, just to say thanks for being supportive. 

I'm getting back into some of my hobbies (weightlifting, slinging, spear-chucking and just being generally primitive enough to make the neighbors nervous) and it's helping me get my head straight. I'm going to go in in a couple weeks and get a fishing license and some basic kit. I've got a lake about 5 minutes drive, and the fish aren't polluted, so that'll be a good way to keep myself occupied, cut the grocery bill, and give me an excuse to smoke some fish!


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## supervman (Sep 19, 2008)

SO slinging = discus and 
"spear chucking" = javalin? 

Yes?


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## ron50 (Sep 19, 2008)

Caveman:

Good luck and I hope things work out for you.


Gentleman: I appreciate you suporting another member of the forum but let us do so without the deprecating remarks about women; otherwise I will lock the thread.


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## razman (Sep 19, 2008)

just my two cents.....i've always found that when i'm down, or things look the worst, i stay REALLY busy, and keep my mind occupied with other things. been a tough week for me, i buried my mother a couple of days ago, and this is the one year anniversary of losing my oldest son. i've been busy smoking meats and working on a car project. seems to help.......plenty of women out there, this one didn't work for a reason, move on and upward. good luck, rick


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## dirtman775 (Sep 19, 2008)

SmokedCaveman;262833 said:
			
		

> If this were a bar, and I had the cash, I'd buy us all a round anyway, just to say thanks for being supportive.
> 
> 
> SHHHHHHHHHH, it is a bar we just dont tell any of the wives, so belly up soon big boy, i could use a free-b myself.


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## smokedcaveman (Sep 20, 2008)

superv - no, a sheperd's sling, with rocks, and the spear I'm practicing with isn't a javelin, but a hunting spear, more specifically a boar spear. Not the 'best' thrower in the world, but hits like a ton of bricks (5 pounds total weight, the blade is 18" long, 4" wide and displaces nearly an inch in thickness because of the shaping of it.) Thrown accurately, it hits hard enough it'd ruin even a small bear's day. Overkill for deer or antelope, but if I can throw accurately with such a heavy weight, a lighter-weight spear's going to be all the deadlier in my grubby little paws.

I'm going to pick up an assegai with a long shaft, which is much more suited to throwing.

Raz - my condolences, man. If i can help, let me know.

Ron - thanks for the support, man, and I don't think any of the guys really mean any harm by it, but I think we can all see your point. 

dirt- here's a virtual cold one. enjoy! lol
[]o


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