# Epic Fail of ExtraOrdinary Magnitude



## bauchjw (Jan 18, 2016)

This is under general because it crosses over several forums. I also think it would be hilarious if it happened to someone else! 
Collected up cheese from different sales over the past month for a cold smoke.












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__ bauchjw
__ Jan 18, 2016


















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__ bauchjw
__ Jan 18, 2016





Cut them to size and got the smoke generator going. 












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__ bauchjw
__ Jan 18, 2016





Temp outside is about 55 so perfect weather and MES 40 was Waiting.
So.... This is my first cold smoke. I used smoke generator attachment. I've read through everything SMF and have followed Bear Carver tutorial. Ironically I'd just made a crack to Bear about not cleaning my grates when I went outside to check the cheese to be welcomed by.....












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__ bauchjw
__ Jan 18, 2016


















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__ bauchjw
__ Jan 18, 2016


















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__ bauchjw
__ Jan 18, 2016





I assumed the timer on MES could be used without turning on heating element, wrong. Oh so, so, so, wrong.


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## isucyclone (Jan 18, 2016)

Oh no! Sorry for your loss. it is never ideal to learn lessons this way, however I am certain you won't make the same mistake again. Give it another shot, I recently smoked my first batch of cheese which has opened the floodgates for more! I'm sure your next attempt will be successsful.


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## gary s (Jan 18, 2016)

Wow, That is one of the best messes I have ever seen.  Sorry for all that cheese loss, Not Cheap   But it is a nice mess.  Maybe Bearcarver can tell you how to clean that up ???

Gary


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## driedstick (Jan 18, 2016)

Damn it man that sucks,,, scrap it off and use in mac and cheese and/or casserole or tacos,,,it's still good 

Don't worry we all will do it or have done it one way or another 

A full smoker is a happy smoker - Stay happy 

DS


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## ak1 (Jan 18, 2016)

Wow! That's impressive.


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## mowin (Jan 18, 2016)

Wow that sucks.  Not sure why you would find it hilarious if it happned to someone else.


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## dukeburger (Jan 18, 2016)

So, what was the finished IT?

Sorry, I had to. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Points.


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## crankybuzzard (Jan 18, 2016)

OUCH!!!  That hurts to look at!  My wife said that would've made her cry for a week...


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## gary s (Jan 18, 2016)

Fire that rascal back up, invite all the neighbors -- FONDUE  Night !!!    

Gary


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## gary s (Jan 18, 2016)

Might try a little lower temp next time .....    
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






    Sorry I just had too      I'll quit now

Gary


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## bauchjw (Jan 18, 2016)

Thanks for the laughs guys. I needed it for therapy. My family and I went for a long walk and just read through your responses to get a laugh and some closure to the great New Years Cheese Catastrophy of 2016. I had this in last night, and my comment to Bear was I don't clean my smoker, so couldn't reuse the cheese:












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__ bauchjw
__ Jan 18, 2016


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## daveomak (Jan 18, 2016)

Epic fail describes it alright.....    Scrape it up and add it to the dog's food....   Dogs love cheese....  ESPECIALLY  dirty cheese....


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## dirtsailor2003 (Jan 18, 2016)

The remains on the top rack look like cheese jerky! 

POINTS for getting that mess cleaned up!


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## JckDanls 07 (Jan 18, 2016)

DOHHHHHHH...  that really sucks...


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## bauchjw (Jan 18, 2016)

DaveOmak said:


> Epic fail describes it alright.....    Scrape it up and add it to the dog's food....   Dogs love cheese....  ESPECIALLY  dirty cheese....


Yes Dave, my Dog definitely helped which upset my wife more because cheese gives our dog the runs. Now the dog has to stay outside for the night otherwise our rugs will be a lot less appetizing than the cheese fiasco.


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## bauchjw (Jan 18, 2016)

gary s said:


> Might try a little lower temp next time .....    :deadhorse:    Sorry I just had too      I'll quit now
> I appreciate the humor. It would have been perfect fondue for the brave.
> Gary


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## bauchjw (Jan 18, 2016)

DukeBurger said:


> So, what was the finished IT?
> 
> Sorry, I had to. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. Points.


About 120 IT. Perfect with corn chips and Franks Red Hot.

Thanks for points guys.


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## Bearcarver (Jan 18, 2016)

bauchjw said:


> This is under general because it crosses over several forums. I also think it would be hilarious if it happened to someone else!
> Collected up cheese from different sales over the past month for a cold smoke.
> 
> 
> ...


LOL---I don't have a Step by Step on Cheese, so you can't pin that one on the Bear.

That's a Beauty----Bigger Mess than "RichTee's", and his is "World Famous"

Boy are you in trouble!!!

Bear


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## murraysmokin (Jan 18, 2016)

Thank God you have a good sense of humor,  that sucks.


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## b-one (Jan 18, 2016)

Wow that's too bad, not sure if I would of cleaned that or just bought a new smoker!


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## bauchjw (Jan 18, 2016)

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__ bauchjw
__ Jan 18, 2016





Couple hours, beers, tears and curse words later.


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## gary s (Jan 18, 2016)

Sure got her cleaned up nice, My wife said she sure felt sorry for you

Gary


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## dukeburger (Jan 18, 2016)

Could've been worse. Could've had a nasty fire on your hands.

Count your blessings and get back on the saddle!!


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## hillbillyrkstr (Jan 18, 2016)

It's like a bad car wreck.... You just can't look away. I've never seen anything like that.


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## smokin phil (Jan 18, 2016)

.


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## mosparky (Jan 18, 2016)

Bearcarver said:


> LOL---I don't have a Step by Step on Cheese, so you can't pin that one on the Bear.
> 
> That's a Beauty----Bigger Mess than "RichTee's", and his is "World Famous"
> 
> ...


Can we get a link for the backstory on that, sounds like a winner.

 Bauchjw, thanks for the heads up, tho it was expensive at your end. I can easily see myself or other newbie doing just that. It never would have occured to me.


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## bauchjw (Jan 18, 2016)

mosparky said:


> Can we get a link for the backstory on that, sounds like a winner.
> Bauchjw, thanks for the heads up, tho it was expensive at your end. I can easily see myself or other newbie doing just that. It never would have occured to me.


Thank you. I do hope it helps someone. Call it the altruistic gene. Painfully expensive, but not permenant, and if you can't laugh then what's the point?


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## bauchjw (Jan 18, 2016)

Bearcarver said:


> LOL---I don't have a Step by Step on Cheese, so you can't pin that one on the Bear.
> 
> That's a Beauty----Bigger Mess than "RichTee's", and his is "World Famous"
> 
> ...



Sorry Bear, it was Mr Ts tutorial. Definitely one of those days that needs to end....


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## foamheart (Jan 18, 2016)

I am not gonna lie like all these other folks, yes I do feel sorry for your lose, I am sorry you had to clean it up, but I snarfed my drink and got the first smile on my face today (its 11PM now). I have spent 12 hours straight today with Microsoft, they screwed up more than they fixed, AND they are going to start over again in the morning.  Again, I am sorry, but you made my day!

MY baby Sis brought me some cheese this weekend, been hoping for some cool weather too. It'll be my first crack at cheese also, and you probably saved me because I just wade right in and do stuff without too too much thought. 

That picture needs to be turned into a post card , or take it on facebook, I bet with all the cooking and smoking sites it'd go viral!

One more time, I am sorry for your lose, but thank you so much for posting it.


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## chef jimmyj (Jan 18, 2016)

My sympathies go out to you.  My temp setting on the Gen1 only goes down to 100°F and it remembers the last setting. It's the Timer that turns on the coil. So whatever your last temp was, that what it goes to, unless changed, when you start the timer. Judging from that mess, the BT works the same way. Learning curves can be painful...JJ


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

Foamheart said:


> I am not gonna lie like all these other folks, yes I do feel sorry for your lose, I am sorry you had to clean it up, but I snarfed my drink and got the first smile on my face today (its 11PM now). I have spent 12 hours straight today with Microsoft, they screwed up more than they fixed, AND they are going to start over again in the morning.  Again, I am sorry, but you made my day!
> 
> MY baby Sis brought me some cheese this weekend, been hoping for some cool weather too. It'll be my first crack at cheese also, and you probably saved me because I just wade right in and do stuff without too too much thought.
> 
> ...


Foam, with all the wisdom you've offered to me, I'm glad I've been able to give you something in return. I hoped others would at least would get a laugh out of it to make the experience a little less painful. It's therapy. Good luck with Microsoft, maybe I'll take your advice and replace my profile pic. Only one place to go from rock bottom!


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

Chef JimmyJ said:


> My sympathies go out to you.  My temp setting on the Gen1 only goes down to 100°F and it remembers the last setting. It's the Timer that turns on the coil. So whatever your last temp was, that what it goes to, unless changed, when you start the timer. Judging from that mess, the BT works the same way. Learning curves can be painful...JJ


Thank you JJ. Yes, painful, but I have learned a lot. Timer definitely turns on coil!


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## SmokinAl (Jan 19, 2016)

WOW! We've seen melted cheese on here before & I have had a few start to droop a little, but as you say this was epic. It did bring a smile to my face, and I thank you for that. Also thanks for sharing your failures as well as your triumphs. You may have saved someone else from making the same mistake.

Al


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## jetsknicks1 (Jan 19, 2016)

bauchjw said:


> This is under general because it crosses over several forums. I also think it would be hilarious if it happened to someone else!
> Collected up cheese from different sales over the past month for a cold smoke.
> 
> 
> ...


Oh no! I think if that happened to me, I'd throw that smoker out and buy a new one, rather than clean that! Lol


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## BandCollector (Jan 19, 2016)

Ouch!...Man, I am so sorry for your loss...I think I would have to drink heavily after that disaster!

John


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

Jetsknicks1 said:


> Oh no! I think if that happened to me, I'd throw that smoker out and buy a new one, rather than clean that! Lol


In my string of profanity that idea did come out along with an axe. But, my wife was quick to remind me how expensive it really is!


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

BandCollector said:


> Ouch!...Man, I am so sorry for your loss...I think I would have to drink heavily after that disaster!
> Beer helped me through the cleanup!
> 
> John


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## bilgeslime (Jan 19, 2016)

How long did that take to clean up? Someone should have warned you about setting the time turns on the heating element.


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## atomicsmoke (Jan 19, 2016)

CrankyBuzzard said:


> OUCH!!!  That hurts to look at!  My wife said that would've made her cry for a week...


My wife said she would make me cry for a week if that happened to me.


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## tjmitche (Jan 19, 2016)

You get pain points for this one my friend!  Tough lesson learned.  

Back on that horse now....


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## ak1 (Jan 19, 2016)

I'm giving you points for sharing with us. Heck that's a piece of art, I'd hang one of those racks on the wall


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## mummel (Jan 19, 2016)

Son of a


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## bbqbrett (Jan 19, 2016)

Oh wow, that is horrible!


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

Bilgeslime said:


> How long did that take to clean up? Someone should have warned you about setting the time turns on the heating element.


I'm sure it was in the manual that I skimmed and ignored after initial set up, it's all on me.


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

tjmitche said:


> You get pain points for this one my friend!  Tough lesson learned.
> Thank you TJ. I'll be going back at it this weekend!
> Back on that horse now.... :grilling_smilie:


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

AK1 said:


> I'm giving you points for sharing with us. Heck that's a piece of art, I'd hang one of those racks on the wall:biggrin:



Thank you AK. I'll save the picture to be framed!


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## oregon smoker (Jan 19, 2016)

bauchjw,

this does not help much but i am sorry for your issue.....it is bad enough to loose all that cheese but then to have the mess to clean up, we all have had some epic disaster or 2 along the way if not your just not running enough smoke 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





   so it prompted me to share this little oops.... went to great care with 6 Pork Cushions and at the last minute (while on the phone as well) and dealing with the dog i opened the door and grabbed the lit amazin pellet tray (wrong end, there went two fingers and a thumb) and placed it in the smoker asap (job well done?) when I went back to check on progress i realized what was wrong..... i placed it on top of the diffuser instead of under it. the pellets collected all the wonderful drippings then turned into my personal "Pellet Chia Pet"  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





 just one of those days....













show and tell.jpg



__ oregon smoker
__ Jan 19, 2016






Tom


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

Oregon Smoker said:


> bauchjw,
> 
> this does not help much but i am sorry for your issue.....it is bad enough to loose all that cheese but then to have the mess to clean up, we all have had some epic disaster or 2 along the way if not your just not running enough smoke :biggrin:   so it prompted me to share this little oops.... went to great care with 6 Pork Cushions and at the last minute (while on the phone as well) and dealing with the dog i opened the door and grabbed the lit amazin pellet tray (wrong end, there went two fingers and a thumb) and placed it in the smoker asap (job well done?) when I went back to check on progress i realized what was wrong..... i placed it on top of the diffuser instead of under it. the pellets collected all the wonderful drippings then turned into my personal "Pellet Chia Pet"
> 
> ...



Thank you for sharing a little pain Tom!


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## pc farmer (Jan 19, 2016)

And this is why this forum is great.  People post failures too.  People learn from the failure of others.

Not every smoke goes the way we want it too.


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## hamrhead1971 (Jan 19, 2016)

Man, that sucks yet is kinda funny at the same time because I almost used the timer on my mes the first time I did cheese.  The upside is, when I showed your pics to the wife, she said "oh hell no.  That sumbitch would be out at the road looking like that."  So now I know what to do if I decide I want a new mes, lol.

Smoke it up
William


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## bauchjw (Jan 19, 2016)

hamrhead1971 said:


> Man, that sucks yet is kinda funny at the same time because I almost used the timer on my mes the first time I did cheese.  The upside is, when I showed your pics to the wife, she said "oh hell no.  That sumbitch would be out at the road looking like that."  So now I know what to do if I decide I want a new mes, lol.
> 
> Smoke it up
> William



Hehe, happy to give you an out for a new MES! I had some leftover pulled pork to remind me of the good times!


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## disco (Jan 20, 2016)

I can only add my condolences to all the others and point out that you have something very valuable, a story of epic proportion and the pictures to back it up! Good luck on future smokes!

Disco


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## mummel (Jan 20, 2016)

This is unrelated but I know it will cheer you up.  I came across some reviews of Haribo sugar free gummy bears last night.  Have you guys ever seen this?  I was in tears.

http://www.smokingmeatforums.com/t/241170/haribo-sugar-free-gummy-bears-review


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## bilgeslime (Jan 20, 2016)

Makes me wonder how many others make the same mistake and don't own up.


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## mr t 59874 (Jan 20, 2016)

bauchjw said:


> Sorry Bear, it was Mr Ts tutorial. Definitely one of those days that needs to end....


Did someone put all their eggs in one basket? 

Wow, stalactites, stalagmites and all. If you are referring to my cheese thread, seems I suggest pulling your cheese when internal product chamber temps reach 70°-75°. Obviously, you went just a tad bit higher. 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





  

Just suck it up as lesson learned and have another shot at it. You will do better next time, guaranteed.

Point for posting.  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





  

T


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## bauchjw (Jan 20, 2016)

Disco said:


> I can only add my condolences to all the others and point out that you have something very valuable, a story of epic proportion and the pictures to back it up! Good luck on future smokes!
> 
> Disco



Thank you Disco. It is a self effacing story that will serve me for many years!


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## bauchjw (Jan 20, 2016)

mummel said:


> This is unrelated but I know it will cheer you up.  I came across some reviews of Haribo sugar free gummy bears last night.  Have you guys ever seen this?  I was in tears.
> 
> http://www.smokingmeatforums.com/t/241170/haribo-sugar-free-gummy-bears-review



That one had me laughing so hard I was in tears! Thank you!


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## bauchjw (Jan 20, 2016)

Mr T 59874 said:


> Did someone put all their eggs in one basket?
> 
> Wow, stalactites, stalagmites and all. If you are referring to my cheese thread, seems I suggest pulling your cheese when internal product chamber temps reach 70°-75°. Obviously, you went just a tad bit higher. :th_crybaby2:
> 
> ...



Thank you Mr T. I read through your threads, but didn't follow step by step...this is what I get! I'll be back at it next paycheck!


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## alelover (Jan 20, 2016)

Bearcarver said:


> LOL---I don't have a Step by Step on Cheese, so you can't pin that one on the Bear.
> 
> That's a Beauty----Bigger Mess than "RichTee's", and his is "World Famous"
> 
> ...


RichTees was a classic but I think we have a new champion.

Sorry for your loss.


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## drewed (Jan 20, 2016)

I think you need to change your screen name to "Cheesus,"


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## Bearcarver (Jan 20, 2016)

alelover said:


> RichTees was a classic but I think we have a new champion.


Definitely a New Champ!!

And on Multiple Levels!!

Bear


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## ak1 (Jan 20, 2016)

Maybe, this should be our next throwdown. Who can screw up the most cheese, and be the most creative doing it.


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## mr t 59874 (Jan 20, 2016)

bauchjw said:


> Thank you Mr T. I read through your threads, but didn't follow step by step...this is what I get! I'll be back at it next paycheck!


You will most likely be smoking cheese for years to come. If you are interested in producing cheese that’s not bitter directly out of the smoker. I would be more than happy to help you. Feel free to PM me.

T


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## cats49er (Jan 20, 2016)

I'd like to seen your face when you opened the door.


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## HalfSmoked (Jan 20, 2016)

Holy Sh----- man 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





  wow when you do something do you always do it so well right or wrong?
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





  for effort


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## bauchjw (Jan 20, 2016)

alelover said:


> RichTees was a classic but I think we have a new champion.
> 
> Sorry for your loss.



I'll look up that thread to see how bad I did. Thank you for the condolence, as many have said I have a good story now!



Drewed said:


> I think you need to change your screen name to "Cheesus,"



That's what my wife said!


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## bauchjw (Jan 20, 2016)

Mr T 59874 said:


> You will most likely be smoking cheese for years to come. If you are interested in producing cheese that’s not bitter directly out of the smoker. I would be more than happy to help you. Feel free to PM me.
> T



Thank you T. I plan on it and will definitely appreciate any advice!


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## bauchjw (Jan 20, 2016)

Cats49er said:


> I'd like to seen your face when you opened the door.



First :icon_eek: Then :hopmad: I think. I blacked out for a few minutes.




HalfSmoked said:


> :th_crybaby2: Holy Sh----- man
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I wish my "rights" we're as epic as this wrong!


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## ak1 (Jan 20, 2016)

No you don't. You don't remember the rights. Because they worked. Like golf, when you hit the perfect shot, there's nothing to remember because it worked, and you feel nothing. When you hit a bad one, you feel it.


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## GaryHibbert (Jan 20, 2016)

That looks like a supersized version of my first attempt at smoking cheese--thankfully I didn't have near the amount of cheese you had.  Sad to lose that much cheese, but I'm pretty sure you brought a "smile to a lot of faces!!! LOL

POINTS for sharing

Gary


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## bauchjw (Jan 20, 2016)

c farmer said:


> And this is why this forum is great.  People post failures too.  People learn from the failure of others.
> 
> Not every smoke goes the way we want it too.



They definitely don't, I think it's therapy!


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## mr t 59874 (Jan 21, 2016)

bauchjw said:


> Thank you T. I plan on it and will definitely appreciate any advice!


Showed your pics to my wife. She said she would have been happy to clean it up for you.

After researching the equipment you are using, I see a couple easy fixes that should turn the tables for you at minimum expense. Will PM you shortly.

T


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## foamheart (Jan 21, 2016)

Mr T 59874 said:


> Did someone put all their eggs in one basket?
> 
> Wow, stalactites, stalagmites and all. If you are referring to my cheese thread, seems I suggest pulling your cheese when internal product chamber temps reach 70°-75°. Obviously, you went just a tad bit higher.
> 
> ...


Tom I think what he was saying is you made it sound good enough and easy enough to it to be worth his while to try it. I have cheese here too, for that same reason and I apprceaite the fact that he probably saved me........

He may make a new record here though on those pictures......... 

I was smiling with him and of course it came back to get me also. But that's another tale of doom and gloom for another day.


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## foamheart (Jan 21, 2016)

Mr T 59874 said:


> Showed your pics to my wife. She said she would have been happy to clean it up for you.
> 
> After researching the equipment you are using, I see a couple easy fixes that should turn the tables for you at minimum expense. Will PM you shortly.
> 
> T


Ya know actually, my first thought was he needed about 4 trays of nacho chips, stick 'em in and heat it up a little more. You at least would have had nochos with your beer while cleaning......


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## mr t 59874 (Jan 21, 2016)

Foamheart said:


> Ya know actually, my first thought was he needed about 4 trays of nacho chips, stick 'em in and heat it up a little more. You at least would have had nochos with your beer while cleaning......









  You and my wife would have made a team for sure.

T


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## allen (Jan 21, 2016)

Your not the only one, My first attempt ended the same way, now I know better and smoke enough cheese in the winter to last me a few months.


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## JckDanls 07 (Jan 21, 2016)

Mr T 59874 said:


> bauchjw said:
> 
> 
> > Thank you Mr T. I read through your threads, but didn't follow step by step...this is what I get! I'll be back at it next paycheck!
> ...



Ummmm..  Can't you share this info in public ??


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## mr t 59874 (Jan 21, 2016)

oops


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## mr t 59874 (Jan 21, 2016)

JckDanls 07 said:


> Ummmm.. Can't you share this info in public ??


Not wanting to jack this thread, I will briefly answer your question. I have offered this information and ask for help in proof testing in an open forum along with contacting the two Florida groups. No one responded to the open forum, no response at all from one Florida group, and a not interested from the other.

Presently, I am working with three individuals. If there are others who are interested, I can be contacted personally and will be happy to work with them.

T


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## bbqbrett (Jan 21, 2016)

Mr T 59874 said:


> JckDanls 07 said:
> 
> 
> > Ummmm.. Can't you share this info in public ??
> ...



Uh oh, don't want to jack the thread...as in jack cheese.  If I though that pun was intentional I might be tempted to call you a cheesy muenster...:laugh1:


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## worktogthr (Jan 21, 2016)

Honestly the melted cheese in the smoker looks great to me.  i love when you make something on a pan and cheese oozes ot of it and makes a little cheese cracker on the pan.  That being said, I am sorry for your loss.


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## bauchjw (Jan 21, 2016)

worktogthr said:


> Honestly the melted cheese in the smoker looks great to me.  i love when you make something on a pan and cheese oozes ot of it and makes a little cheese cracker on the pan.  That being said, I am sorry for your loss.



I'm with you! I'd be lying if I said some of the cheese wasn't eaten out of spite. Creosote made it difficult though. Also, the fact that the smoker wasn't all that clean from pork butt, ribs, tri tip, and wings the previous day made the cheese filled pan a little less appetizing up close!


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## smokin monkey (Jan 22, 2016)

I am going to give you points my friend :points1::points1:  And this is the reason why, and I am not criticising anybody, but 80% of post on here are "Look what I've cooked and how good it looks" we all do it.

You my friend have had the balls to put this up for everyone to see and good on you. It shows we all make mistakes. It also shows new members that we do not always get it right [emoji]128077[/emoji]


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## richtee (Jan 22, 2016)

alelover said:


> RichTees was a classic but I think we have a new champion.
> 
> Sorry for your loss.


Yeah... I’ll gladly pass the crown on that incident on... ;{)


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## redheelerdog (Jan 22, 2016)

I have always learned best from my screwups


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## bauchjw (Jan 22, 2016)

Smokin Monkey said:


> I am going to give you points my friend :points1::points1:  And this is the reason why, and I am not criticising anybody, but 80% of post on here are "Look what I've cooked and how good it looks" we all do it.
> 
> You my friend have had the balls to put this up for everyone to see and good on you. It shows we all make mistakes. It also shows new members that we do not always get it right [emoji]128077[/emoji]



Thank you Sir for the compliment and points. SMF culture is so friendly I never thought it was too big of a deal. The whole "Good friends bail you out, best friends are laughing in the jail cell with you!" Mentality. 



Richtee said:


> Yeah... I’ll gladly pass the crown on that incident on... ;{)



:beercheer: I'll carry it until the next Richtee. I'll buy you a beer, or your preference, if we ever meet. It took some searching, but the velveeta meltdown did look painful. 




redheelerdog said:


> I have always learned best from my screwups :439:



My dad always says boys learn from pain and repetition. Over 40 years later and I'm still proving him correct!


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