# How to be a good member of the family.



## bmudd14474 (Mar 15, 2020)

I feel  silly having to even post this but as of late several members dont know how to be kind humans to each other and to be honest are acting like asses. 

So to be short and sweet there will be no warnings going forward no matter whom you are new or old. You will be escorted from the site and be promoted to NON-MEMBER.

Not sure how much more clear I can be.

We are a family FRIENDLY forum. If you dont like what someone is saying flag it if its offensive or heres an idea MOVE ON.

Sorry to be so blunt but this will stop.

Thanks.

Management.


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## Brokenhandle (Mar 15, 2020)

We have an awesome place here on SMF, and to all the mods...you do a wonderful job! I can use a computer to a point but have no clue on how much work you all do to keep it going, but thank you all cuz it's worth alot to us.

Thank you 
Ryan


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## tx smoker (Mar 15, 2020)

HOORAY FOR YOU BRIAN!! As well as the rest of the staff. To be honest I have been VERY disappointed in a lot of the commentary I've seen recently. I respect that people should be able to voice their opinions but feel it must be done in a respectful manner, not in a way that your ideas are the only right ones and everybody needs to agree with you. I do however agree with you that it's sad things have progressed to this point but kudos to you for giving folks the chance to present their views respectfully and stepping in when they don't.

Robert


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## BandCollector (Mar 15, 2020)

Yikes!

Noted and THANKS!

John


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## bmudd14474 (Mar 15, 2020)

Sadly I have to make this post. We all need to know that we come to this place to talk about and learn more about what we love to do. But for some reason we have forgotten how to be decent to each other.


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## pushok2018 (Mar 15, 2020)

bmudd14474 said:


> Sorry to be so blunt but this will stop


Brian, there is nothing to be sorry what so ever.... You are absolutely right on this. Thank you!


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## tx smoker (Mar 15, 2020)

bmudd14474 said:


> Sadly I have to make this post. We all need to know that we come to this place to talk about and learn more about what we love to do. But for some reason we have forgotten how to be decent to each other



To put things into a little better perspective, I honestly believe that the vast majority of the folks here have maintained the mantra of the forum. There seem to be just a couple of folks that are fanning the coals of a flame war. I do however agree 100% with your need to post this and support you, as well as the rest of the staff, wholeheartedly.



pushok2018 said:


> Brian, there is nothing to be sorry what so ever.... You are absolutely right on this. Thank you!



Also 100% in agreement. Well stated.

Robert


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## bill ace 350 (Mar 15, 2020)

Thanks.

I love the information and knowledge sharing here.

However,  there are members that will twist your words, put words in your mouth, twist context.....

I feel sorry for some who post a step -by - step breakdown  of their recipe/ process only because they don't want to be lectured,  sharp-shot, ridiculed etc.


Remember,  just because someone here has been a member for a long time does not mean that many new members don't have a vast wealth of knowledge to share.

No matter what type of forum,  there are inevitably a few members who, for whatever reason, think they "own" the forum.

Ignore those types,  share information, learn and enjoy!!

Let's keep this forum fund and informative.


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## tx smoker (Mar 15, 2020)

bill ace 350 said:


> Let's keep this forum fund and informative.



HERE HERE!! I'll second that motion real quick.

Robert


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## fivetricks (Mar 15, 2020)

I'm not sure how I feel about this..I guess I tend to agree because this is a "themed" forum but tbqh, the conversation can tend to run a bit vanilla from time to time. How many "my first pork butt" threads can one find interesting.

A bit of healthy spirited discourse is ok IMHO. But it should to confined to a dedicated area.


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## Will Squared (Mar 15, 2020)

I feel that discussions and even disagreements can always be kept respectful.

My Wife & I have been together 44 years. We don't always see eye to eye... and I can be grouchy sometimes when I get hungry... but Family goes much deeper.
We are all Brothers and Sisters.


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## tx smoker (Mar 15, 2020)

fivetricks said:


> A bit of healthy spirited discourse is ok IMHO. But it should to confined to a dedicated area.



I don't disagree with you in the least, but I feel that it should also be done in a respectful manner. Sadly that respect has gone by the wayside in a couple of recent threads. I'm all for a thread getting "derailed". That means you have posted something that people find interesting, want to be involved with, and expand on it. IMOH, nothing wrong with that. I've seen threads go 15 different directions before they run their course, and that's great as long as the commentary is positive, supportive, and respectful.

Just my .02 and probably getting some change back,
Robert


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## BandCollector (Mar 15, 2020)

Will Squared said:


> I feel that discussions and even disagreements can always be kept respectful.
> 
> My Wife & I have been together 44 years. We don't always see eye to eye... and I can be grouchy sometimes when I get hungry... but Family goes much deeper.
> We are all Brothers and Sisters.



Thanks 
W
 Will Squared
 !


The trend these days is: "Me First and the hell with everyone else".

I for one am glad to be a part of a forum where most of the members are respectful of one another!

It's not that hard to disagree with someone without being rude or disrespectful.

Love and Peace,

John


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## pushok2018 (Mar 15, 2020)

Will Squared said:


> We are all Brothers and Sisters.


Well said. Thank you.


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## Brokenhandle (Mar 15, 2020)

Will Squared said:


> I feel that discussions and even disagreements can always be kept respectful.
> 
> My Wife & I have been together 44 years. We don't always see eye to eye... and I can be grouchy sometimes when I get hungry... but Family goes much deeper.
> We are all Brothers and Sisters.


Will I think the term my daughter uses is "hangry", and it's fitting! Cuz it happens 

Ryan


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## tx smoker (Mar 15, 2020)

Brokenhandle said:


> Will I think the term my daughter uses is "hangry", and it's fitting! Cuz it happens



There's a new one I need to embrace....and apply to Tracy when she comes home from work less than happy and with an empty belly. Thanks for sharing Ryan!!

Another derailed thread but in a good way,
Robert


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## BandCollector (Mar 15, 2020)

I'm not understanding this "hangry" thing.

Can someone explain.

John


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## Will Squared (Mar 15, 2020)

Hungry + Angry = Hangry...


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## BandCollector (Mar 15, 2020)

Thank you. . .I can be a bit slow at times!

John


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## Will Squared (Mar 15, 2020)

I first heard Hangry on a Snickers commercial...


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## BandCollector (Mar 15, 2020)

Will Squared said:


> I first heard Hangry on a Snickers commercial...




LOL!


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## tropics (Mar 15, 2020)

I stand by what I was taught 
If you have nothing good to say ,Say Nothing!!
Richie Great job Brian and staff TY


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## chopsaw (Mar 15, 2020)

tropics said:


> If you have nothing good to say ,Say Nothing!!


Different part of the country , same up bringing .  I agree .


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## TulsaJeff (Mar 15, 2020)

Thank you 

 bmudd14474
  for what you do to keep the SMF civil!

Unfortunately, respect for everyone's opinions, even when they don't match yours, is a lost art with some.


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## bmudd14474 (Mar 15, 2020)

TulsaJeff said:


> Thank you
> 
> bmudd14474
> for what you do to keep the SMF civil!
> ...




Truth be told its all the Mods and Pineywoods that are really doing it. I only posted this after they brought it to my attention. We have a great group of folks that make this place run.


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## TulsaJeff (Mar 15, 2020)

bmudd14474 said:


> Truth be told its all the Mods and Pineywoods that are really doing it. I only posted this after they brought it to my attention. We have a great group of folks that make this place run.



It's definitely a group effort and I appreciate every one of the moderators, admins and the host of others who bring these type of things to the attention of those who can do something about it. I can't thank everyone enough!


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## Central PA Cowboy (Mar 16, 2020)

TulsaJeff said:


> Thank you
> 
> bmudd14474
> for what you do to keep the SMF civil!
> ...



Agreed. I was raised to respect everyone, and I mean everyone. But with opinions, sometimes comes ignorance and people have to be held accountable. If you spew BS, I will call it out.


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## negolien (Mar 16, 2020)

I just come here to have a good time and talk about food.  I could do without the off topic stuff. I have a hard enough time avoiding it in rl.


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## forktender (Mar 16, 2020)

I've been around here for a pretty long time and I can count on one hand how many times I've seen people being dicks towards others. And that's saying something about the admin. and moderators.
 Good job fella's, you are 100% correct that there is no room for that sort of crap on this forum.
I commend you on your decision Brian.




PS.
I'm the king of derailing threads but I honestly don't mean to do it, it has to be my ADD or ODC or is that   some other upper case letters that I could possibly  use as an excuse. LOL
Dan.


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## Smokin' in AZ (Mar 16, 2020)

Civility on this site is the main reason I frequent it so much.

I have another site that I frequent, but because of the lack of civility and one sidedness of others on it I rarely post on it, just lurk.

So I am thankful to you Brian (and mods and Pineywoods) for stepping in.

John


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## schlotz (Mar 16, 2020)

Glad to see you step in Brian!  It seems there are always a few who have trouble conducting themselves appropriately.  Let's hope that after they read your post their ability to remember what they should have been taught comes back and adjustments are made.  

Matt


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## sawhorseray (Mar 16, 2020)

bmudd14474 said:


> Sadly I have to make this post. We all need to know that we come to this place to talk about and learn more about what we love to do. But for some reason we have forgotten how to be decent to each other.




Kudos and a tip of the hat to you and the other mods that make this such a great place to be. I do notice that folks never seem to get crabby or aggressive with each other when the subjects are centered more around meat smoking and food, which is kind of the theme of this site. RAY


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## uncle eddie (Mar 17, 2020)

I am glad to have missed the "snarky" posts and glad that the moderators stepped in the keep this site as it has always been.


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## 73saint (Mar 17, 2020)

uncle eddie said:


> I am glad to have missed the "snarky" posts and glad that the moderators stepped in the keep this site as it has always been.


I was about to say the same.  I must have missed the posts that warranted this thread.  I spend a lot of time on several Facebook groups related to bbq and smoked meats; it ALWAYS makes me appreciate this site because the garbage that I read through on FB is quite frankly, unsettling.


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## BGKYSmoker (Mar 19, 2020)

bmudd14474 said:


> Sadly I have to make this post. We all need to know that we come to this place to talk about and learn more about what we love to do. But for some reason we have forgotten how to be decent to each other.


Good going Brian

Many times i have wanted to boot someone off but decided to give them another chance.


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## BGKYSmoker (Mar 19, 2020)

73saint said:


> I was about to say the same.  I must have missed the posts that warranted this thread.  I spend a lot of time on several Facebook groups related to bbq and smoked meats; it ALWAYS makes me appreciate this site because the garbage that I read through on FB is quite frankly, unsettling.


Thats why in my FB groups i delete any negativity or link posters. I too belong to other FB groups and some of the member are just plain ol @$$holes.


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## Winterrider (Mar 19, 2020)

Hat's off to the leaders, moderators, etc , of this site. This is a great learning forum and place to get your questions answered and share your knowledge and experience on a variety of topics.

I was a member of another more "local" outdoors forum, that started having the same type of issues of not being able to be civil to one another. Well that site is no longer operational. There was a lot of great people that were willing to share their expertise as on this forum, but a few bad apples took that away.


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## crazymoon (Mar 19, 2020)

I'm with uncle Eddie in the fact that I missed all those posts and I'm glad I did ! There is more than one way to skin a rabbit and I've learned a lot of new  smoking ideas here.


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## smokeymose (Mar 20, 2020)

This is the first time I've clicked on this. I don't know why.
I stopped coming here about a year ago because it seemed some newbies were rude (to each other and at least one to me).
I'm retired now and like this site as a nice place to spend a little time now and then. I've been known to get my foot in my mouth from time to time but rudeness isn't in my nature.
I posted plenty of "My First" posts when I started here and everyone was helpful, correcting me respectably when I goofed. That's how we learn.
I still make mistakes and get my foot caught. Please let me know :-)
Dan


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## tx smoker (Mar 20, 2020)

smokeymose said:


> I still make mistakes and get my foot caught. Please let me know :-)



Dan, I'm gonna jump in here and share my .02 and may well get some change back. From my perspective I have found everything I've read from you to be enjoyable, polite, and respectful. Like you, I don't typically get rude intentionally but this whole PC approach just doesn't fit into my lexicon. Being old school and raised in a military family turned construction, I have a tendency to tell it like it is and check the PC approach at the door. Although not intended to be rude or disrespectful, it is construed that way sometimes by people who require a more delicate approach. You keep posting sir, I'll keep reading, and we'll keep having fun!!

Now where's my change?   
Robert


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## smokeymose (Mar 20, 2020)

tx smoker said:


> Dan, I'm gonna jump in here and share my .02 and may well get some change back. From my perspective I have found everything I've read from you to be enjoyable, polite, and respectful. Like you, I don't typically get rude intentionally but this whole PC approach just doesn't fit into my lexicon. Being old school and raised in a military family turned construction, I have a tendency to tell it like it is and check the PC approach at the door. Although not intended to be rude or disrespectful, it is construed that way sometimes by people who require a more delicate approach. You keep posting sir, I'll keep reading, and we'll keep having fun!!
> 
> Now where's my change?
> Robert


Thank you. Honesty gets you in trouble most of the time. My "like" is the only change in my pocket right now ...


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## tx smoker (Mar 20, 2020)

smokeymose said:


> Honesty gets you in trouble most of the time



Sad but all too true unfortunately. Oh well, I just don't ever see myself in the PC crowd.



smokeymose said:


> My "like" is the only change in my pocket right now ...



That's more than enough and probably more than I deserve. Thank you.

Robert


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## olecrosseyes (Mar 21, 2020)

Wholey Carp!
I am truly surprised that this is really a topic on one of the first forums that I ever watched. I spent a year here before I logged in with a "Breaker 1-9, This is Ole~Crosseyes and I got a question." "Can you give me a clue what the "Ell" went wrong"? I got more than enough possible answers!

I've been around here for sometime, ok doing a lot of lurking, but I'm now semi retired and trying to be a little more vocal. Ha, ha I know "Denny O shut up and sit down!" Lol.

I'm no newbie here by any means, BUT I'm surprised that SMF has had its members get caught up into what I reading about that requires this rhetoric!!  Really? Come on, let's get back to sharing and learning from one and another. If you seem to be  disgruntled, well then schuh for now, come back later after you vented on fb or somewhere else. Better yet, Think, pause listen to yourself and then think once again to what you say.

Sorry  to Jeff and staff for exposing my thoughts to one of THE best sights that Majorly helped me when I was in a trial and error for years to SMOKE MEATS!!  My hats off ta ya!

I sincerely thank this forum,
Denny Orfield
Des Moines, IA

Mr. Moderator, I wish to yield the balance of my time to the next speaker.


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## pineywoods (Mar 21, 2020)

We for the most part have a great community here but with what's going on lots of people are stressed and lots of people are on edge and that's understandable but remember we are all going through this together. When you think you have it bad just think others have it just as bad or worse. Also understand that taking out your frustrations on someone else isn't the right thing to do and you wouldn't want it done to you. You are not required to post in any thread so if your comment is going to be demeaning or an attack on another member don't post at all. As others have said my momma taught me if you have nothing good to say don't say anything. 
Having differing opinions is fine and we have no problem with people discussing things they disagree about as long as it's civil and doesn't get nasty.
SMF has never allowed attacks on other members or demeaning other members and we won't tolerate it now either.


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## tx smoker (Mar 21, 2020)

pineywoods said:


> We for the most part have a great community here but with what's going on lots of people are stressed and lots of people are on edge and that's understandable but remember we are all going through this together.



You are absolutely correct. Here is my slightly expanded take on it. This is only MY take and in no way reflective of other people's opinions. I feel that SMF is my very large extended family. I've made a lot of good friends here and developed some great online relationships. As a family, we endure together, help each other, and share our experiences...both the trials and tribulations as well as the successes. Heck, right now scoring a 4-pack of toilet paper is as successful as a beautiful prime rib cook   Sure, the basis of the forum is dedicated to cooking, primarily smoking meats, but there are a lot of other things going on in the lives of my family members here. I for one enjoy hearing about them, people sharing input, and looking to see the positive side of things. I've never been a negative person by nature and a few recent threads I did find to be negative. The staff however brought those to a quick closure. Things have taken a much more positive turn and I'm enjoying what I'm reading now. Barring any direct violations of the SMF mantra, I'd kinda like to continue seeing people share how they are dealing with this, what they are doing to help others, what they are thankful for...etc. It brings things into a perspective of a reality that we are all forced to deal with and being done in a positive way.

I'm done for now 
Robert


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## sandyut (Mar 21, 2020)

This is a great place.  Lets keep it that way.  Thank you for posting this.  Kinda glad I didnt see the threads that made it necessary.

Now more than ever, we need each other.


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## GaryHibbert (Mar 21, 2020)

tropics said:


> I stand by what I was taught
> If you have nothing good to say ,Say Nothing!!
> Richie Great job Brian and staff TY





chopsaw said:


> Different part of the country , same up bringing .  I agree .



Small world, isn't it.  I think our mothers must have been related.
Gary


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## GaryHibbert (Mar 21, 2020)

bmudd14474 said:


> I feel  silly having to even post this but as of late several members dont know how to be kind humans to each other and to be honest are acting like asses.
> 
> So to be short and sweet there will be no warnings going forward no matter whom you are new or old. You will be escorted from the site and be promoted to NON-MEMBER.
> 
> ...



Brian, I wanted to read all the replies in your post before I responded.
So here's my response--*WELL SAID!!!!!*
Believe me, there's no reason for you to feel bad about this post.  Bluntness is sometimes required. to get a point across.   Truth be told,  I'm a big fan of "Blunt".  A good friend of mine once told me I was about as subtle as a claw hammer in the face.  But...I'm never unintentionally rude to anyone.  If I'm rude, it's done in private and face to face--not hiding behind a computer monitor.
In my years on this forum, I've found it to be a gathering of friendly, helpful people, always more than ready to help anyone with a problem.    Sure, there are lots of My First Pork Butt posts--we've all posted one of those.  If you're not interested, don't read it.  Just don't bitch about it. That's why I'm still a member.  I have no use for other forums that are filled with snide, cruel remarks and insults.
Big (much as I hate the word) LIKE from me.
Gary
You said what needed to be said.  Hair on ya.
Gary


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## chef jimmyj (Mar 21, 2020)

In days past I locked horns with some people. I got ugly and I  regret that. I've also learned from others and practice...If you disagree with another, back your point of view with documentation from a Valid Reputable  Source. " That's what my Mom did and nobody died! " Is not a valid source. Neither is an article from some Hippie, New Age, Cult. Valid Sources are University, Government or Professional Organizations. If the Debate is going to continue...Brian has taught me that in these situations, " It's better to hit the Delete Button than the Reply Button. Just take the High Road and let it go..." Good advice.
Remember, people may have something going on in their lives making them upset and argumentative that has NOTHING to do with you or the current topic...JJ


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## texomakid (Mar 23, 2020)

This forum is my escape from hate. A true happy place :)

My name is Randy and I approve of this message.


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## HalfSmoked (Mar 25, 2020)

I too missed the post that caused this to come about and can say I'm glad I did. New people come here for help and that's what I did when I came on board. Just remember how proud you were when you did your first brisket or ribs to the best you had ever done and were so proud of your self. You just couldn't wait to post it and receive the great comments from supporting fellow members on the form. That's what the brother hood on this forum is all about supporting and helping one another. Enough said before I get carried away for I too have found many friends on here.

Warren


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## noboundaries (Mar 25, 2020)

We love to smoke, cook, fry, bake, braise, SV, grill, boil, roast, rotisserie, broil, sauté, grind, stuff, marinate, pound, cure, jaccard, age, prep, and season our food. There's no better place to share our love than SMF. That's always been the focus here.

We are all experiencing a unique time in our lives than is rubbed with uncertainty and sprayed with a little fear.  I welcome the opportunity to explain melting collagen in butts and briskets, probing not temping for tenderness, or high temps to get crispy skin on poultry. Don't even get me started on charcoal or roasting coffee. Sure, I've said it all umpteen times, but what a nice distraction as I hibernate from everything else going on.

Imagine yourself as a teacher in his or her 10th year of teaching the same grade or subject.  The new student benefits because they are hearing it for the first time. And no matter what is going on in their lives, the good teacher always makes it fun and fresh. Thank you for remembering to focus on what we love here at SMF and supporting each other during these times. 

Ray


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## Brokenhandle (Mar 25, 2020)

Very well stated 

 noboundaries
  , I got a chuckle out of your first paragraph...I think that should cover all we do here on SMF.

Thanks
Ryan


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## Will Squared (Mar 25, 2020)

noboundaries said:


> Don't even get me started on charcoal or roasting coffee.



I am going to take a chance here...

What are your thoughts on charcoal and roasting coffee?

(getting popcorn)...


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## noboundaries (Mar 25, 2020)

Will Squared said:


> I am going to take a chance here...
> 
> What are your thoughts on charcoal and roasting coffee?
> 
> (getting popcorn)...



Enjoying my afternoon cup of freshly roasted Rwanda A1 grade, wet-processed, patio dried, Full City+ coffee. Cinnamon-spice, robust-chocolate perfection.

Charcoal...good.


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## Smokin' in AZ (Mar 25, 2020)

noboundaries said:


> Enjoying my afternoon cup of freshly roasted Rwanda A1 grade, wet-processed, patio dried, Full City+ coffee. Cinnamon-spice, robust-chocolate perfection.
> 
> Charcoal...good.


That is literally a mouth full....  

John


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