# I think my wife is cheating on me



## smokin out the neighbors (Sep 11, 2008)

I've never talked about this before, but I really need the boards advice on what could be a crucial decision. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. 

The usual signsâ€¦ Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. 
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, â€œJust some friends from work, you donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t know them.â€ 

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t in a taxi? 

I once picked her cell phone bill and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone bill again and why was I checking up on her. 

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife I think deep down I just didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. 

I decided I was going to move my smoker next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my smoker , that I noticed that the smoker was starting to develop some rust on the firebox. 

Is this something I can fix mysel f or should I get it sandblasted and powdercoated?


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## guvna (Sep 11, 2008)

huh? .............. i guess you should sand bla... what happened when she came home!!!!!


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## grothe (Sep 11, 2008)

LMAO!!! That's just Da** too funny!!!!


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## sandman67 (Sep 11, 2008)




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## smokin365 (Sep 11, 2008)

just wire brush it and give it a good coat of hi temp. Id get on that tho, before its too late.  If ur still worried about the wife, she'll give u another chance to catch her. the smoker only gives you one chance to deter rust.  Glad u got ur priorities in line.


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## waysideranch (Sep 12, 2008)

I think you should write a song about this.  It would be as good as that fishing song.  I'm glad you have your priorities in line.  Good man. LOL.


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## leupy (Sep 12, 2008)

For the smoker get a good primer after wire brushing then you can use a good high temp paint.  For the wife radio shack a small cheap recorder and a telephone relay and you will know everthing, even though you may not want to know everything.


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## capt dan (Sep 12, 2008)

give er enough rope, she'll hang herself .
If ya don't use high temp primer, the  high temp paint won't last any longer than regular paint. found out the hard way.


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## desertlites (Sep 12, 2008)

bust the wife & your sure to be able to get a bigger and more faithfull smoker!


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## taterdavid (Sep 12, 2008)

lose the wife and get a younger more modern smoker with all the modifications


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## meat-man (Sep 12, 2008)

Damn dude  that was good !


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## bb53chevpro (Sep 12, 2008)

I can give you the number of the guy who blasted my bro in law's smoker (if you want it all bent and twisted out of shape). Oh I'll have to see about using a taxi the next time.......LOL


Good one, nice priorities.


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## pops6927 (Sep 12, 2008)

So, do you think your wife's strokin' some ribs, squeezin' a butt or two, or someone's playin' hankypanky in her brisket area?  I'd be checkin' for wayward BBQ sauce.  See if her hands smell like applejuice spritz.  Now, you could call her about halfway thru her tardiness; give her five sides to pick up and see if she gets 'em all and how many forks been stuck in 'em.
Make her rub down the rust and see what kinda movements she's makin' and if she's daydreamin' about somebuddy.  Have her write her name 5 times fast and see how many of 'em are "Roger" or "Tom"... wouldn't hurt to 'grill' her a little bit too.  See if she knows the difference between Hot Smokin' and Hox S*x! (More flavor with the smokin').  She'll probably just confess, fall to her knees and beg to have you give her forgiveness - plus fill up the firebox while she's down there...!


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## cman95 (Sep 12, 2008)

Your gonna smoke her????
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





 Don't let anything splatter on the metal smoker!!


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## mossymo (Sep 12, 2008)

Get that smoker fixed as soon as possible and install a remote thermometer on the wife, then you will know if she is done and/or ready.....

P.S.
Great topic !!!


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## longshot (Sep 12, 2008)

C'mon Smokin, 
you really should thank her for setting up a situation that led to your early diagnosis of the rust problem.  Sheesh don't be so self centered dude!!!


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## binindy (Sep 12, 2008)

Dude...just too funny!  But on to another issue, what about the Colts?  Sure didn't look good in the opener...might get crushed if they can't stop the run up in Minnesota.


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