# Wait, There's More!



## sawhorseray (Nov 13, 2021)

I can not shop at Costco anymore :-)))))

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, who weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.


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## SecondHandSmoker (Nov 13, 2021)

Ray,
Those are all good ones, again.
Thanks.


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## ofelles (Nov 13, 2021)

Great ones


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## smokeymose (Nov 13, 2021)

I liked the "Left Lane Ends" one.
It's like the ones that fly by you to sit at the stoplight with you right behind them.....


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## MJB05615 (Nov 13, 2021)

These are just as good as the last ones Ray.  Really lol!  The Purina diet was hilarious.


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## bauchjw (Nov 13, 2021)

Great laugh!


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## chef jimmyj (Nov 13, 2021)

Glad I read these at 4:47pm. My laughing would have got me in trouble at 2AM!... JJ


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## Brokenhandle (Nov 13, 2021)

Great ones Ray!

Ryan


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## Bearcarver (Nov 13, 2021)

Good-uns Ray!!

Bear


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## yankee2bbq (Nov 13, 2021)

Love em again!!!! Thanks!


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## Fueling Around (Nov 14, 2021)

All funny except this one.


sawhorseray said:


> ...
> 
> View attachment 516158
> 
> ...


So sadly true


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## JLeonard (Nov 14, 2021)

The second one is so me at work this morning! Coffee IV STAT!
Jim


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## GaryHibbert (Nov 14, 2021)

MJB05615 said:


> These are just as good as the last ones Ray.  Really lol!  The Purina diet was hilarious.


My feelings exactly.
Thanks Ray.
Gary


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## Smokin' in AZ (Nov 15, 2021)

Another bunch of good ones my friend!

Keep them coming...

John


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