# TIME! <warning..RANT>



## richtee (Dec 29, 2007)

Time time TIME! everyone wants to know "how long?!?".

No one KNOWS people! You are looking at a possible 4 hour or more window with larger cuts...

The cooler is your friend... look up the cooler method.

Start early. Don't panic.  Look up the time/temp tables THAT ARE ONLY AN ESTIMATE.

BBQ is done by TEMP, and at LOW temps...it is not a fast process..planning is KEY.

Ok...phew... 

/rant off


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## ron50 (Dec 29, 2007)

Calm down my friend! It takes "time" to learn; remember


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## richtee (Dec 29, 2007)

Sigh... sorry Ron... I WANT PATIENCE NOW!

LOL


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## dono (Dec 29, 2007)

you made this newbie wanna cry 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	

























ever seen a 6 foot 5 inch 400 lbs man cry ? it's scary


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## richtee (Dec 29, 2007)

OK..I'll poof it...sorry folks.


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## bbq bubba (Dec 29, 2007)

Not as scary as seeing that same man holding a thong with a tong!!


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## richtee (Dec 29, 2007)

Crap..I can't.


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## dono (Dec 29, 2007)

well if ya can't crap that would explain why you're so mooduy this morning. take some exlax boy


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## dono (Dec 29, 2007)

LMAO


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## richtee (Dec 29, 2007)

I deserve that. Not the Ex-lax, but the riposte'.


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## dono (Dec 29, 2007)

I think SMF should use my picture to advertise the new line of cloths lol
same size as a billboard and so much cheaper lol


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## zapper (Dec 29, 2007)

Nothing like a good "Hurry up and wait!"



No doubt that too many folks plan their life by the tic toc of the clock. It takes time for the paint to dry. It takes time for the flowers to grow. It takes time for food to cook, so let take the time that it takes!





I have also come to realize that there is only past and future, no present time. For what is now has already past. The duration of the present is so infinately small as to be non existant. I am starting to question if there is even a future, because eventually it will be the past as well.


As you can see I am perplexed by time, cook to the temperature as reccomended and don't fall into this time trap!


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## brentman0110 (Dec 29, 2007)

Rich, you sound like me. I once bought a book about how to get over procrastination but I never got around to reading it...


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## richtee (Dec 29, 2007)

Woah. How sooo..err existential. Deep schtuff, that.

Thanks Zap, I needed that. A li'l yang for my ying.  :{)


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## mossymo (Dec 29, 2007)

I think The Rolling Stones said it best - "Oh time is in my side, YES it is".

OK now that that song is in my head I have the urg to go watch the movie Fallen (remember Azazel, scary character), Geez !!!


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## brentman0110 (Dec 29, 2007)

Bubba, I don't even know where to begin with that little piece of info. I will be back in a minute, I have to go wash my brain out with battery acid...


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## zapper (Dec 29, 2007)

Deep something anyways
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	








Oh wow man, look at the colors...


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## flash (Dec 29, 2007)

I always thought it was more appropriate to base cooking time by how many beers you drink anyway


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## drsnook (Dec 29, 2007)

Flash is right! Smoked chicken=5 beers

                              ribs=6 beers

                              butts=12 pack

                              and so on and on etc.


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## ba_loko (Dec 29, 2007)

Slow poke!  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	






On edit:  It takes a 6 pack to get the fire hot.


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## lisacsco (Dec 30, 2007)




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## zapper (Dec 30, 2007)

On the beer timer method.
If the food will cook quicker than you can drink one beer, then you shouldn't be drinking while cooking that dish because it sounds like it might take two hands.

If it will take longer than a twelve pack, then you shouldn't be drinking err I mean cooking alone!


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## seaham358 (Dec 30, 2007)

I know I ask for a time as a guide.. If on average you can smoke a bird in 2.5 hours I know when to toss it on the Q and how to plan other food.
But I know that the bird is not done till it hits temp.
I.m sure most folks are looking for a guide.


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## ds7662 (Dec 30, 2007)

LMAO...
Thhhazzzz Right.


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## vlap (Dec 30, 2007)

And when it comes to a brisket? A case??? No wonder so many of us  LOVE cooking a brisket.
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





Rich your rant is on the money though. They preach the same thing in school (culinary) its done when its done and not a moment sooner or later.


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## bustedluckbarbq (Dec 30, 2007)

I usually keep a 30 pack on hand at all times....  could hit a good long plateau...need to be prepared....


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## vlap (Dec 30, 2007)

I like your thinking


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## scotty (Dec 30, 2007)




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## richtee (Dec 30, 2007)

That is truly the beauty of the cooler. You have an EASY 2 hours to do sides. Or whatever.


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## watery eyes (Dec 31, 2007)

When it comes to the time spent to do BBQ right......I suffer for my BBQ.

Everything else gets put on hold and my family that loves the results understands that completely.

Bottom line is that there are too many variables to say how long a smoke will take.....the sooner a person embraces that truism....the sooner they will master their BBQ skills. Patience isn't just a virtue....it's a necessary ingredient in great BBQ.

Yesterdays smoke started at 10:30am with an outside temp in the low 30's and ended at 10:00pm by putting the two shoulders into the cooler to rest over night. Got up at 5:00am and had everyone who was up with me was sampling some truly awesome (and still piping hot) pulled pork.

No schedule...no rush...no worries.


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## brentman0110 (Dec 31, 2007)

That's why when I smoke, I stay close to my Jack D. It takes up much less space as long as the ice stash holds out!


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## gethenet (Mar 15, 2008)

okay...so how long will it take?.....


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## richtee (Mar 15, 2008)

Grrrrrrr....


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## desertlites (Mar 15, 2008)

hehe-atta boy rich.


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## Dutch (Mar 16, 2008)

Easy Rich...easy!!!


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## flash (Mar 16, 2008)

*"Sir, youâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]re drunk!" Yes, Madam, I am. But in the morning, I will be sober  and you will still be ugly." â€“Lady Astor and Winston Churchill*


*â€œA woman drove me to drink and I didnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t even have the decency to thank her.â€  - W.C. Fields*


*â€œTwenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think Not.â€ -  Stephen Wright*


*"After drinking four Martinis, my husband turns into a disgusting beast. And  after the fifth, I pass out altogether." - Anonymous *


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