# And Today is...........Who Cares!



## sawhorseray (Sep 16, 2021)

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.
Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.
I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.
Old age is coming at a really bad time.
When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.
The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".
I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.
Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.
Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?
Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.
At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.


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## chopsaw (Sep 16, 2021)

Lol . The dishes piled up . LOL . You're a bad man Ray . 
Good ones in there , and I could go for a Papa Burger about now .


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## Brokenhandle (Sep 16, 2021)

I love em Ray! Smiles all around!

Ryan


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## robrpb (Sep 16, 2021)

Some good ones Ray. Thanks.

Rob


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## noboundaries (Sep 16, 2021)

Great ones!


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## Bearcarver (Sep 16, 2021)

Outstanding!!
Thanks Ray!!

Bear


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## GonnaSmoke (Sep 16, 2021)

It is said that laughter is the best medicine. Well, I may never get sick again...


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## yankee2bbq (Sep 16, 2021)

Ohhhh myyy those were awesome!!


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## JLeonard (Sep 17, 2021)

Love the chuckles! 
Jim


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## uncle eddie (Sep 17, 2021)

Great way to start oiff Friday morning at work :-)


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## MJB05615 (Sep 18, 2021)

All real good ones Ray!  Especially the "When did you notice your Wife was dead?" I literally L'd OL.
Thanks my friend, really appreciate these.


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## checkdude (Sep 18, 2021)

Love them all. Wonder  where to get the one with  -both shots. Priceless!


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## GaryHibbert (Sep 20, 2021)

Really good batch, Ray.
Love the "if men got pregnant"  and  "notice your wife was dead.
Gary


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