# Secrets to Great Barbecue



## burksmoke (Jan 20, 2006)

Sometimes, even when you do everything just exactly like the recipe says, the barbecue just doesnâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t turn out right.  If this is the case for you, you probably have overlooked some very important facts.  These facts are not in the books.  They are not on the web site.  These things are secret.  They have to be learned the hard way.  At the risk of extreme censure by the â€œbarbecue godsâ€  I would like to give a glimpse into the secrets of great barbecue.

Great barbecue begins with the proper state of mind.  Turn off the cell phone and grab a drink.  Beer is best but a shot of Jack Daniels works just fine.  What? You donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t drink?  Ok, just fake it.  If you omit this first part the second becomes even more important.

Allow only the right company to assist you in your cooking activity.  For example, if your brother-in-law is helping you insist that he refrain from asking you about work (more on this later).  Only people who love good barbecue should be allowed within a 100 meter diameter of the pit.  Something about skinny little vegetarians gawking at the smoke and lecturing you and your buddies about the evils of a carnivorous lifestyle keeps the smoke from penetrating the meat.  By the same token any employee of the IRS or similar type lurking too close to the meat or any of the cooking team will have a devastating effect on the whole operation. 

Get very comfortable.   Great barbecue takes time.  There is no law that says you canâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t barbecue in your house slippers and your barbecue sauce stained t-shirt with the big hole in the right arm pit.  Funny hats help also.  I like to find a lawn chair to sit in and watch the smoke curl out of the pit.  Yes!  You have to watch the smoke!  Make sure that you can reach the cooler full of long neck beer from your chair.  It does not hurt to have a least one son-in-law or other such relative on standby to fetch more beer or ice if the supply runs low.  

Allow only the right kind of conversation in the presence of the barbecue.  This is a very complex rule too vast too cover comprehensively here.  For the sake of brevity I will list a few of the approved and the unapproved topicsâ€¦

Approved Conversational Topics

1.Barbecue or anything related
2.The merits of different types of beer
3.The best â€œsippinâ€ whiskey
4.Fishing
5.Hunting
6.Hunting dogs 
7.How to make good homebrewed beer
8.Camping
9.Women (be very careful here)
10.Fishing while drinking beer and cooking barbecue

Donâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]t Talk about theseâ€¦

1.Work
2.Taxes
3.Shopping
4.Politics
5.Relatives (around here you never know who is kin to who)
6.Women (be very careful here)
7.Fancy French foods

Another factor that has a great effect on the taste of barbecue is the type of music that you listen to as you smoke your meat.  It is not generally known that music has that effect on flavor.  Again this is a complex subject.  Here are some guidelines I try to follow.

Pork â€“ It has to be the blues.  My personal favorite,.. the late great Stevie Ray Vaughn.  He was from Texas you know.

Any Beef Critter â€“ Outlaw country music of course.

Any other meat â€“ One of the above

Be careful with the selection, volume, etc.  Barbecue can be very sensitive.

Oh, I almost forgot, make sure you have some good snacks to munch on during the process.  Put the ABTs on first (I leave in a few seeds just for fun)

This is just a drop in the bucket. Iâ€[emoji]8482[/emoji]m sure many of you experienced pit masters have discovered some of these unwritten rules in your quest for the perfect rack of ribs or the prize winning brisket.  Feel free to share them with the rest of us.

Burk


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## bwsmith_2000 (Jan 20, 2006)

Hey Burke!
     I think you're on to something. All these are subtleties that I think most us understand but perhaps just never really stopped to define. I can tell that you are obviously an experienced Pitmaster because you have gotten this discussion off to a really great start ..... wonderful items. I would like to amplify on some of the subjects that might be discussed. I know you have listed BBQ and related items and this would most likely fall under the related items category. Vairious sauces have always made good topics around my smoker. This of course assumes that you have been successful in limiting immediate observers to those who truly appreciate the various sauces (mustard, ketsup, venigar, mopping, sopping, finishing etc.). Then further discussions on types of wood to be used with the various types of meat will take care of a few more brewskies. And then, one of my favorites. Assuming the libations are holding up (or sons in law have replinished the supply) a really good discussion on peppers is always interesting. This of assumes the scoville scale has already been presented and the realative merits of the wonderful scotch bonnet brought to the table. I could go on but it's a little late for me and I'm sure there are other ideas out there. One thing's for certain .... it's a great hobby and I know what I'm going to be doing this weekend.


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## cheech (Jan 20, 2006)

You have nailed it. You just missed the refrigerator or cooler near by for liquid refreshment replacement. One beer just does not do it for me.


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## brozach (Jan 21, 2006)

Here's my two cents. You have to have cigars and the dog around too, somewhere in the mix.


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## bwsmith_2000 (Jan 21, 2006)

I think I feel a country/western song coming on.


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## burksmoke (Jan 21, 2006)

Brozach,

I don't know how I forgot the cigars!  Very important point.

Burk


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## buzzard (Jan 31, 2006)

since i usually end up smoking alone cause none of my friends understand how much fun the smokin is and only want to eat it the next day, i usually end up sittin and drinking and since i found this place now i have added making sure i do a little smokin readn at the same time.


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## burksmoke (Jan 31, 2006)

Hey Buzzard,

Sometimes that is not a bad thing "being alone I mean".  I do some of my best thinking sitting alone and watching the thin blue smoke.

As far as company goes..."smoke it and they will come"


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## dennis (Feb 3, 2006)

I'm humbled to be amongst those with understanding so deep.  One thing I'd like to add though; it's a shame to let the valuable atmosphere of the smoking event end when the food and liquid refreshment have all been consumed, so I like to carry with me the memory of the fine day by wearing the now smoked shirt for at least two more days.  That way, the fine aroma is still around to inform of how lucky I am, and it tells other people what they are missing.  

Dennis


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## burksmoke (Feb 3, 2006)

Dennis,

You are definately tuned in on this topic.  I concur.  It is also helpful if your intent is to make others aware of your "Q" experience, to make no attempt to wash off the barbeque sauce from your beard.


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## smoksignlr (Feb 3, 2006)

Ahhhh. To be one who enjoys the finer things in life. A good tune, to savour the taste of something three and half minutes after you eat it. To stand back and enjoy the view of smoke whisping around a golden brown bird or even a smoked pork hock. To watch with a friend truly enjoy the fruits of your labour. To have a dog who will sit patiently with you with no worries of ever taking something before it is offered. A cold beer a hot toddy it's all good. These are some of the traits of the great barbeque smoker.


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## dennis (Feb 3, 2006)

Smoksignir, you certainly have a gift for the descriptive when it comes to barbecue, obviously someone who has much studied the subject.  If ever a Pullitzer Prize is offered to you for this, accepting it at the awards ceremony while wearing the smoked shirt with sauce in your beard, as Burksmoke suggests, would only be appropriate.  Finally some recognition for the little guy in his backyard, it would make all of us smokers out there very proud.

Dennis


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## soflaquer (Feb 5, 2006)

Burke,

Here, here, my friend!  What a great topic!  

Remeber, you *never* have to Smoke alone here!  Some of the greatest Post's I'm familiar with are those that give us a detailed rundown of their cooking with awesome pictures attatched!  Heck, I know some guys that keep their laptop outside next to their Beer!

You do, however, bring up some of the "finer" aspects to the Art of Smoking!  A fine Cuban cigar, handrolled on the thighs of Virgins come to mind (but I digress).  I'm not a Jack fan, but give me a shot of $60 Patron Tequilla, and I'm there!  I've always said that my right hand doesn't work when I'm around the Grill or Pit unless a Beer's in the Left!  Must be a balance thing.    :D 

I think I'll make this Topic "Sticky" so others can chime in!

Jeff


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## dacdots (Feb 5, 2006)

One must never overlook offerings to the SMOKE GODS.An offering of your favorite adult beverage lofted high into the air and presented to the four corners of the earth while speaking in tounges will assure great sucess in your smoking endevors.Ive found that occasional gunfire into the prevailing winds will tame the strongest gust and keep smoker temps even.Drinking a good sour mash will also help tame winds and even rain and snow.Ive drank many a gale force wind down to a meer puff of air.Remember "if" is the middle word in "life."


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## dennis (Feb 5, 2006)

What Jeff says about sharing the cooking with your computer at hand....true, but alas, mine suffered from beer spillage and encrusted sauce on the keyboard, was not allowed to be brought back into the house.  Now, for me the cooking has become a more vicarious experience.  When I apply the rub and sauce, begin to see the coals turn the familiar red, the aroma of exotic flavors begins to swirl about to take me to that far away place I love, the joy as the tabs begin to pop, I know I am no longer alone.  I share the hopes and aspirations of millions....or at least thousands, who shed the burden of the time clock, the crowded commute, all the bad news in the papers .  FREE, oh thank God were FREE at last!    Wonderful Meat Mopper, to raise your beverage in praise and thanks to this!  

Dennis


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## smokin hillbilly (Feb 14, 2006)

Hey to all of you,
    I can't think of anything better to say here, because you all nail it and if I was smoking right now I can think better.
                       vette


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## smokin hillbilly (Feb 14, 2006)

darn I was in wife side when I wrote what under her name sorry
                              vette 

I get mess up here


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## bigmeatsmokin (Feb 19, 2006)

This is a fun forum but this is a hilarious topic.  I'm thinking that posting "the rules of engagement" of BBQ should be placed in plane view of the pit.  Maybe in stone tablet form commandment style.  Qualified with an "under penalty of death" disclaimer for the attorneys.
Jeff: will you let us know where to get them cuban 'gars hand rolled on virgin thighs? I'm pretty sure thats what my brisket was missing.


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## soflaquer (Feb 20, 2006)

That would be a small "hole in the wall" Cigar Shop in Key West, my friend.  The name escapes me right now.  Run by Cuban immigrants using real Cuban tobacco.  Hope they're still there, it's been a few years.

BTW, BigMeatSmoker, please visit "Roll Call" and introduce yourself to everyone.  And YES, that *is* all that's probably missing with your Brisket!    
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






Jeff


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## jlloyd99 (Feb 21, 2006)

You know one of the most important aspects of BBQ is it's final step, the big test, the eating of the labors.  All of you have been spot on so far but let us not forget something very important.  By nature BBQ gets lonley if not surrounded by wonderful side dishes on a plate that is so full you need a second plate.  Pile it on or the BBQ you've worked so hard on all day will suffer massive performance anxiety and fail to meet expectations.  I have found that my BBQ enjoys the company of some home grown veggies out of a home grown garden, and keep the beverages flowing to make it all slide down easy.  That my friends is the perfect end to the perfect day.


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## pg (Feb 21, 2006)

Oh Yes! To plan a weekend around smoke! A few good  cigars, a few beers, a few JDs on the rocks, some Jazz, blues or country, a day of smoke, the right frame of mind...and finally enjoying it with friends and family at the end. Nothing Better!!!!!!


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## pg (Feb 21, 2006)

Jeff - That would be the Key West Cigar Factory, it is still there. You can order their quality hand rolled cigars on line at (Keywestcigars.com) They use mostly Dominican, and Honduran tobaco, which, quite honestly, are as good as or maybe even better than Cuban leaves. They do claim that their rollers are immigrants of Cuba. Rememer the cats all over the place? What a great place.....Key West.


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## soflaquer (Feb 22, 2006)

I believe you are correct, PG!  I do agree as far as the Honduran and Dominican tobacco's go...........Cuban tobacco is very good, but a bit over-rated.

Jeff


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## dave11 (Jun 11, 2006)

If you play Blues Music while your smoking meat, It makes the meat tender!


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## Dutch (Jun 12, 2006)

Dave, I thought Country/Western music (the old style) made the meat tender!!


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## dave11 (Jun 12, 2006)

You know what happens if you play country /western music backwards dont you? You get your house back, you get your wife back, you get your dog back........ :D


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## soflaquer (Jun 13, 2006)

Too Funny, Dave!!!!    :D


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## monty (Jun 13, 2006)

If that's the case I'll play my CW on fast forward! I've got my dog, Own a house DO NOT WANT.... well you know!  :twisted: 
Cheers!
Monty


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## brianj517 (Jun 14, 2006)

Now THAT'S too funny...I'm with you Monty...fast forward it is. I own my own home and I like the peace and quiet. I've got my dog, who is always happy to see me and never bithces when all I want to do is watch a ball game and drink a few beers... No way I'm gonna screw that up with another walk down the aisle!

Cheers,
Brian


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## tommy c (Jun 28, 2006)

I just want to thank all of you for this great thread! I haven't laughed this much in awhile. My jaw's hurtin' 4 certain!


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## dave11 (Jul 15, 2006)

Iv'e been thinking about how Iv'e screwed up some good bbq. Has anyone ever bought a new smokey mountian smoker, and watched the video that came with the smoker? The video shows this guy with the smoker,and the smoker is pouring out smoke like a 55 Buick! Well, thats what I thought I need to do! :) Make it smoke! It took me a while to learn thats NOT how to do it. Just thought Id post this in case there are some newbies out there that think this is the way to good BBQ. Thin blue smoke is the way to go.


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## riz9 (Jul 15, 2006)

I am inspired by these bbq secrets and will be printing them out and posting them on the sliding glass door that leads to my smoking pit so that everyone will have to read them before coming out to see me sitting on a lawn chair sipping whiskey and watching a bunch of thermometers.


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## cajunsmoker (Jul 27, 2006)

I've read this thread a dozen times and never could figure out what else needs to be said.

However, 2 things ain't been said,

1. The *worst* moment in my backyard with the smoker is better than the *best* day at work.

2. Nothing tastes better with a spicy hot pulled pork sandwich than a 35 degree longneck *Miller High Life*. 8) (or if you're a teetotaler a frosted glass of sweet tea :D )


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## Dutch (Jul 29, 2006)

Rodger, I'll take a frosty longneck of home brewed rootbeer!! NOt that dry ice, water and extract crap-ugh!


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## cajunsmoker (Jul 29, 2006)

We have lots of Sassafrass trees around these parts, and when the boys were little, my Mom would boil down the roots and make them Sassafrass tea.  My oldest (25) still has the urge for some everytime he drinks a root beer. :D


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## brianj517 (Jul 29, 2006)

I gotta agree with you there, Caj. Though Coors Lite is my brand of choice, any smoke session ain't complete without a cooler full of icy cold brew, no matter what flavor... :P 

Cheers,
Brian


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## monty (Jul 29, 2006)

The only thing better than a cold Bud or a fine single malt scotch neat is a well chilled tall neck home brew. By next spring I will be back at my old hobby of brewin'. An let me tell ya I will have a very popular back yard on hot summer daze!

One of the best kept secrets of excellent Q is the brew! And I am gonna let tha cat outta tha bag once again! Soon!
Cheers!
Monty


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## brianj517 (Jul 29, 2006)

Hey Monty!

Let me know when the first batch is ready and I'll gladly come up and help weed the garden for a small taste! :D I just LOVE home brewed beer!

Cheers,
Brian


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## monty (Jul 29, 2006)

Well, Brian, I am shooting for an early spring startup. And if I can swing it the way I did back when there will be brew ready by mid May and throughout the entire summer. 

Don't go promising labor till you see the size of my garden!

Cheers!
Monty


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## icemn62 (Jul 30, 2006)

That explains why I was not satisfied with my smoke session from today.  I only had a diet coke to drink.  I hate to drink and drive, and I was 25 miles away from home when I cooked pulled pork.  It is good, just not GREAT.


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## chris_harper (Dec 8, 2006)

i hate to drink and drive too. i am afraid i will hit a bump and spill my drink.


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## pyrolysis (Dec 11, 2006)

FIRE!!! 

Let not we forget about praising the Lord of FIRE!  
Remember, where there's no fire there's no smoke! 

pyro


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## scorpio_fl (Dec 13, 2006)

man-o-man...ya'll love yer smokin...but I'll bet you're drinkin store bought beer...If you have so much passion for good meat, why don't you make your own beer too...buddy brown...


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## richoso1 (Jul 25, 2007)

I keep the list short for myself, simplicity can be devastating.
Blues, Brews, and Chews.


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## bondvader (Jul 26, 2007)

You should add this to Jeff's E-course as apart of the newbe training. The real funny part is that you are right! I think this will really help me achieve that BBQ Zen status much quicker, thanks


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## navionjim (Aug 1, 2007)

Whel naw dhars jus one morr thang y'all jes gota be carful auv. An dats jus whut kina automobiles ya'll let up yo drivway when y'alls doing along smoke. I kin tell y'all dat eny numba a pickup tucks is fine. But chu let jes one danged ol BMWa, er evin one a them Jap built rigs on y'all's propatey an y'all kin jus ferget bout gettin any decent Q. Hell worse yet, jus let one o dem white buggys wid the lites on da top come by, jus one danged ol time, and dats de end a all de fun y'alls guna have fo sure.


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## peculiarmike (Aug 1, 2007)

No place in this craziness did I see Bluegrass music mentioned. It fits with smoking just fine. I also lean toward "classic country" (the ONLY country) heavily.
Can't beat a comfortable seat in the shade with "something cool to drink", the smoker emitting the thin blue, and some good grass playing.
A good friend or two and the dog or cat add to the experience.
But that's just me.


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## smokin365 (Aug 16, 2008)

simply genius!


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## 1894 (Aug 19, 2008)

Great grab from the "Way Back Machine "  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	












Great reminder of what this forum is all about ( at least from this newbies point of view ) 


Phil


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## burksmoke (Aug 26, 2008)

It has been a long time!  I can't believe this thread is still here.  During my "sabatical"  I have discovered a few more secrets...

Never let the brother-in-law adjust the damper while you are out getting more beer.

To keep from losing that BBQ zen state of mine, remember at all times that everything inside the cooker is very hot! don't grab it with your bare hands.

Make sure dog cannot reach table where ribs are being cut if you leave the area.

Smoke on brothers....

Burksmoke


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## oldschoolbbq (Sep 13, 2008)

The main problemI have is the constant questioning from the neighbors driving by. It's always,"whatcha cookin'" and "when's dinner?" So... I got me a chalk board and colored chalk and post my menu and time of service along with a note to bring thier R.S.V.P. Now it's easier and I can continue to sip my Sweet Tea.LOL


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## chef_boy812 (Sep 13, 2008)

First, I want to add my legitamate answer...
beer or drink of choice; It helps with patience.
music of choice; It helps with calmness
Bank cards with open credit; It helps the wifey go away(sorry ladies)
Good Chair; It helps with stamina
SMF; it helps with all the rest!!!!

Monty you are a home brewer?!?!
awesome yes I agree the que taste better washed down by something we made as well.

I am finding a lot of homebrewers on here, and I have 1 question....

Why isnt the beer forum used more often?

I will pony up the first post with a Hops bbq sauce recipe, i will work it out this weekend. We can smoke our own malts, we can use our beers for marinades, sauce, and beyond.
beer desserts? and a good brew recipe too once in a while.  Hops growing, I can donate hops rhizomes to whoever wants to try, I can go on, But I don't want to hyjack this thread for beery evil.


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## forluvofsmoke (Sep 13, 2008)

I have that problem too, but, I don't discourage them from dropping by for dinner, I just ask them to bring one side per person (I have a wife & 5 kid's). Next thing ya know: we have guests and a complete 12 course meal from nothin' more than my grille or smoker meat.

Yeah, sometimes it doesn't work (nobody out & about) & we have to come up with the rest of the meal ourselves, but then there's a bunch of leftover smoke, so, what do we do? Freeze, reheat & re-eat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hah!!!

Can't lose, man!!!


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## farklf (Oct 4, 2008)

If I may add a couple of thoughts.  A good book.  Helps the time past away.  A cell phone.  Call a friend when you need someone to talk to without going in the house.


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## falmund (Apr 17, 2009)

General rule...no member of the cooking party or gallery may look directly at each other.  All conversation must be from the side of the mouth, while looking directly at the smoker.  You may however, if the situation deems it necessary, tilt your head toward the recipient of the comment/query.  Just do not remove your eyes from the smoker.


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## cman95 (Apr 19, 2009)

This is the first time I have seen this thread. What a hoot. The rules of the first post (slightly amended) will be hanging somewhere near at my next smoke. You know what I always say..."BEER, BLUES, BIKES AND BBQ" it don't get no better than that!!


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## petesque (Apr 19, 2009)

I think what ever music you listen too has to assist in the the smoke ring. One rule from my favorite music, Blues is to take smoking some place it hasn't been before. I have seen that here with the new recipies for food or sauce. Second taking your love to work and spreading the word of smoke.

If I think the people I have invited are only going to show up when the food is done. I lie. It is the name of smoking and spreading the word and I like hanging with friends while the groceries are cookin.


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## bslgy (May 19, 2009)

As of this January the Key West Cigar Factory was alive and well.  I missed the Virgins rolling on their thighs while I was in the shop, but the cigars were fine!!


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## burksmoke (Dec 5, 2010)

I'm still smokin!  These are still true.  Darn this is an old one.

Burk


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## afdever1113 (Dec 4, 2011)

Yeah if it is a country music song you would loose the somker to your ex wife.


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## afdever1113 (Dec 4, 2011)

bwsmith_2000 said:


> I think I feel a country/western song coming on.




Yeah, but just make sure you get the smoker in the country/western song if your wife leaves you. But if she does get it play the song backwards and you will get the smoker back.


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## palladini (Jun 10, 2013)

bigmeatsmokin said:


> This is a fun forum but this is a hilarious topic. I'm thinking that posting "the rules of engagement" of BBQ should be placed in plane view of the pit. Maybe in stone tablet form commandment style. Qualified with an "under penalty of death" disclaimer for the attorneys.
> Jeff: will you let us know where to get them cuban 'gars hand rolled on virgin thighs? I'm pretty sure thats what my brisket was missing.


They are everywhere In Canada, but alas if you live in the the lower 48, the rules about Cuba you folks live under preclude from enjoying these smooth Cigars.  If you Know anybody that travels to Canada, tell them to pick you up some.


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## fpnmf (Jun 10, 2013)

They cost too much from Canada...

And yeah they can be had down here..

   Craig













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__ fpnmf
__ Mar 21, 2013


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## palladini (Aug 24, 2013)

brianj517 said:


> I gotta agree with you there, Caj. Though Coors Lite is my brand of choice, any smoke session ain't complete without a cooler full of icy cold brew, no matter what flavor... :P
> 
> Cheers,
> Brian


I digress on that point.  If I drink any beer, I am sick for 3 days.  Mind you, it never was that way.  I am the double nickel now, but when i was in 40 and below, I could drink it with the best of them. I have even sat with few of you Americans in bars up here and drank you folks under the table.  But these days, I do not touch beer.  Wine, Vodka and Rum are still good though.


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