# Dad Jokes



## ks8829

Below are my favorite dad jokes:

1) What is the best time to see a dentist?

2) What did the buffalo say to his son when he went off to college?

3) What did the 79 year old pirate say on his next birthday?

4) How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laught?

Answers

1) 2:30

2) Bison

3) Hi matie

4) Ten, tentacles

Any dad jokes you can share?

Thanks in advance for your reply


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## hb99

Not really joke, but fun to play with kids who already know how to count..and understand it's only a joke:

Ask them how many fingers they have.  They'll say 10.  And you say really?

Then let them count their fingers, 1 hand 1-2-3-4-5 next 6-7-8-9-10.

Then count yours and go 1-2-3-4-5, then ask right?  They'll agree.

Then point to the finger they said was 10 and ask : you said this one was 10?  They'll agree.

Then count 10-9-8-7-6 and ask what are 5 + 6?  Answer:  11.


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## ks8829

How do you make 7 even?

Answer

take away the "s"


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## ks8829

Medical Jokes

1) Did you know there is a cure for Swine & Bird Flu?

2) What do you call it when you can not go pee?

Answers

1) Ointment and treatment

2) Urine trouble


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## sqwib

My Favorite Silly Dad jokes

_How do you catch a unique rabbit?_

You neak up on it

_How do you catch a tame rabbit?_

The Tame way, you neak up on it.


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## ks8829

1) Why can 2 Vegan not be mad at each other?

2) What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?

Answers

1) They would not have a beef together

2) You can tune a guitar but you can not tune a fish


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## hawkce541

Why did God give Marines one more brain cell than a horse?

So they wouldn't poop during a parade.

So says the Army guy...lol


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## andreasalberz

Why is 9 afraid of 7?

Answer : Because 7 ate 9. (7, 8, 9)


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## sunerylander

[h3]"A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here".[/h3]


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## lancep

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?





Cause it was dead


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## ks8829

Did you know math is polite?

What is 5 + 5 and add the letter Q = 10Q          you are welcome!


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## natej

Q. What do call cheese thats not yours

A. Nacho cheese.



3 guys walk into a bar.. youd think the 3rd one would have seen it


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## bluewhisper

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.


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## bluewhisper

Father: "Son, see that big V of geese flying over?"

Son: "Yeah."

Father: "You notice how one side of the V is longer than the other?"

Son: "Yeah."

Father: "Do you know why that is?"

Son: "No, why?"

Father: "There are more geese on that side."

.


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## natej

2 antennnas fell in love and got married.. the wedding was terrible but the reception was fantastic!


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## johnmeyer

I'm a dad. My favorite joke (with apologizes to blondes everywhere):

Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M candy factory?

A: Because she kept throwing out all the W's.


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## dictator

A classic Dad joke... got to build it up:

Q: How do you catch a red monster? 

A: With a red monster net!

Q: How do you catch a blue monster?

A: With a blue monster net!

Q: How do you catch a green monster? (They should be catching on now...)

A: With a green monster net!

Q: How do you catch a yellow monster?

Kid: With a yellow monster net!

Dad: There's no such thing! You hold their nose until they turn blue, then catch them with a blue monster net!

A joke isn't a good 'Dad joke' unless it's followed by groans aplenty...


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## litterbug

Why did the turtle cross the road?



To get to the Shell station.


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## Wilson Davis

Question:- What did the seal say when his friend told him a joke?

Answer:- That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!

funny poop jokes


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## LanceR

My Old Man was a hillbilly coal miner's kid who came out of the hills for WWII.  Then, like millions of others he took advantage of the GI Bill and went to college.  He never saw the inside of a coal mine again.  He was full of corny jokes.....



While driving down a country road..."Son, do you know what kind of bird that is up on that power wire?"

"Nope"

"It's a Mugwump."

"Mugwump"

Yeah, it sits with it's mug on one side and its wump on the other!"


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## Medina Joe

What do you call a cow with no legs?????
Ground Beef.

The kids love that joke....


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## okiedave

andreasalberz said:


> Why is 9 afraid of 7?
> 
> Answer : Because 7 ate 9. (7, 8, 9)


Q: Why was 6 afraid of 5?

A: Because 5 was a registered 6 offender, and THERE'S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THAT!


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