# Secret Order of the Billowing White Smoke



## gnubee

This is an old post I did that didn't make it thru the great Crash of 2009

*THE SECRET ORDER OF THE BILLOWING WHITE SMOKE*

The Signs that You may be eligible for admission to the *SOTBWS.*
1. You have just served your best Q to your friends and family yet there are plenty of leftovers on their plates that the dog refuses to eat.
2. There are no mosquitoes in your back yard although there were hoards of them before you started the smoker.
3. The invitation to your in-laws for a backyard Barbeque is turned down for the tenth time in a row. 
4. All Up and down the block the neighbours are flying white flags.
5. Yours is the only house on the neighbourhood under a big white fluffy cloud from which little birds emerge coughing and hacking.
6. You yelled come and get it then heard the loud squeal of car tires on the pavement. Now you Cannot find your family.
7. There is a picture of you on the telephone pole outside your house with a big red circle and slash thru it covering your face. 
8. Neighbourhood dogs have been using your leg for a fire hydrant.
9. Barnyard animals turn their heads the other way as you pass by.
10. Your nickname at the office is dead meat.
11. There are gas masks of assorted sizes hanging on the hall coat rack.
12. Your wife receives a sympathy card from the local butcher.
13. A mob of villagers carrying torches, pitchforks and clubs is approaching your house chanting burn him, burn him. 
14. Long columns of ants can be seen leaving the city.
15. City crews approach you with an offer to buy massive amounts of creosote for use in bridge pilings. 
16. You have received numerous stop action notices from the SMF Mods.
17. SMF Chat empties within minutes of your arrival.
18. There is a black cloud over your head that follows your every move. Even on otherwise clear days.
19. The neighbours have sent a representative to your house offering to buy you out at twice what the property is worth. 
20. At a BBQ Competition after tasting your Q the Judges quit on the spot. Several were seen sobbing uncontrollably.
21. The dog refuses to let you anywhere near your smoker.
22. Photobucket will no longer download your Qview citing legal reasons. 
23. Little children are being told, if you don't eat all your vegetables We'll give you some of His Q. 
24. You are featured along with your Qview on Americas least wanted.
If any or all of this applies to You, Then You are a candidate for the *SOTBWS. *


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## DanMcG

Too funny Gnu. Do you stay awake at night thinking of this stuff?


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## goobi99

is that what were gonna call it???......SWEEET!!

The Great Purge of 2009


sounds ominous, huh?


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## darrin

LOL! Good stuff Gnubee!


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## carpetride

Very funny


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## beansqueezer

very interesting story you need to write a book. you got my attention


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## smoke freak

I know that guy. He cant grill either...


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## two-eyes-up

You go Gnu,I love it,Keep on given your insite.


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## alx

My neighbor is a charter member.Very funny.


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## richoso1

I don't mean to burst your bubble... but the secret is out big time. Just watch most BBQ programs, it'll make road kill get up and run.


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## mulepackin

What, nothing about fire companies having your address highlighted during daily briefings or some such concern? Good stuff GnuBee


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## rivet

I just read this and had to laugh...I know several folks who are charter members and they don't even know it. Thanks for the good reading, Gnu!


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## beer-b-q

*ROFLMAO... 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	




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How do you come up with this stuff???*




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## linescum

i have been a member for years..been my tag for about as long as i have been a member of ths forum


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## scpatterson

Thats the funniest thing I have ever read


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