# Keeping your sanity amidst the insanity



## gr0uch0 (Apr 9, 2017)

Give one or more of these a whirl next time the delusional seem to have taken the upper hand in your world.

10.  At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hair dryer at passing cars, and watch them light up their brakes.

9.  On the memo line of all your checks, write, "For Meth".

8.  Skip down the street rather than walk, and see how many looks you get.

7.  With a serious face, order a diet water whenever you go out to eat. 

6.  Go to an opera and sing along.

5.  When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"

4.  When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES--THEY'RE LOOSE!!!!"

3.  Go to Target, wearing khaki pants and a red polo shirt, and tell folks when they ask for an item's location that they'll need to go to Wal-Mart instead.

2.  Pick up a box of condoms at the pharmacy, go to the counter, and ask where the fitting room is.

And if none of those work,

1.  Go to a department store’s fitting room and sit down, drop your drawers to your ankles and yell out, “Hey, can someone get me a roll of toilet paper??”


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## gary s (Apr 12, 2017)

Made me laugh   Funny sounds like stuff I do all the time  
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






Gary


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## gr0uch0 (Apr 12, 2017)

Thanks, amigo.  As the disarray and ridiculousness marches forward, a little chuckle never hurts.


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## crankybuzzard (Apr 12, 2017)

My son got a disciplinary action notice at UNM for filling a windex bottle with blue Gatorade and spraying it into his mouth while in biology lab.


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## gr0uch0 (Apr 12, 2017)

CrankyBuzzard said:


> My son got a disciplinary action notice at UNM for filling a windex bottle with blue Gatorade and spraying it into his mouth while in biology lab.



That's pretty funny. Bet it pales in comparison to what his pops did in school....


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## shyzabrau (Apr 12, 2017)

When I was in grad school, my girlfriend worked at K-Mart. Some days I'd walk over to meet her at the end of her shift and we'd walk home together. Or day I got there early so I walked around the store holding an aerosol can of some sort (with the lid on!) and pointing it at things and making hissing noises (that were very realistic). It didn't take long before security had a talk with me...


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## smokin peachey (Apr 12, 2017)

[emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji][emoji]128514[/emoji]
That's some good stuff!


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## gr0uch0 (Apr 13, 2017)

Shyzabrau said:


> When I was in grad school, my girlfriend worked at K-Mart. Some days I'd walk over to meet her at the end of her shift and we'd walk home together. Or day I got there early so I walked around the store holding an aerosol can of some sort (with the lid on!) and pointing it at things and making hissing noises (that were very realistic). It didn't take long before security had a talk with me...


Those K-Mart folks just don't have a sense of humor, do they??


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## crankybuzzard (Apr 13, 2017)

gr0uch0 said:


> That's pretty funny. Bet it pales in comparison to what his pops did in school....


Let's just say that I didn't volunteer any of the events that I may, or may not, have been involved in...  Like duct taping a flashlight to the horns of a goat one night, turning it loose on a game management ranch, and then calling the land owner to report a night hunting poacher!  Took him 3 hours to catch up with the poor critter.  He swore he would kill whoever did that to him.  That was in College Station back in 89, I think I'm safe to tell the story now.


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## crankybuzzard (Apr 13, 2017)

Shyzabrau said:


> When I was in grad school, my girlfriend worked at K-Mart. Some days I'd walk over to meet her at the end of her shift and we'd walk home together. Or day I got there early so I walked around the store holding an aerosol can of some sort (with the lid on!) and pointing it at things and making hissing noises (that were very realistic). It didn't take long before security had a talk with me...


That's a good one!


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## smokedcaveman (Aug 19, 2017)

I may or may not have done this.

get four piglets. on the backs, sharpie some numbers. coat liberally with olive oil. release in walmart supercenter.

the kicker being the numbers - 1, 2, 4, 5


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## GaryHibbert (Sep 20, 2017)

I LIKE that one

Gary


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## bluewhisper (Oct 16, 2017)

OK, a puzzler: What's practical about a practical joke?

It requires at least one practitioner. Practical jokes aren't told, they're performed.

You know, like putting a rubber band around the sprayer handle on the kitchen sink.


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