# You may be a BBQ/Smoke addict if...



## mossymo (Jun 14, 2011)

Saw these at Burnin' Love BBQ and felt the need to share...

…the term “going whole hog” isn’t metaphorical at your house

…your neighbors have complained to your home owner’s association about “second hand smoke”

…you wore a brown wedding dress so the rib sauce wouldn’t show…

…you’ve ever used the phrase, “rub my butt” in front of your mother

…you have been brought to violence at the sight of a “McRib Sandwich”

…you demand that your spouse of 30 years leave the kitchen when you make a batch of your “secret” bbq sauce

…there are more barbecues/smokers/grills on your deck than you have people living in your house

…you’ve ever made your child go outside at 3am to “check the pig”

…you take a notepad and pen to the zoo, in case you get an idea for a new recipe

…you’ve ever had to adjust your cook-time for “blizzard-like conditions”

…you have the only 6 y/o on your block with a hibachi instead of an Easy-Bake Oven

…you can recite the exact “pull temps” for beef, pork, and chicken, but can’t remember your zip code

…you’ve forcibly removed someone from your house for using ketchup

…you grow 6 kinds of peppers, but your lawn has been dead for a year

…You’re no longer allowed to recite “your version” of _The 3 Little Pigs_ to your children/grandchildren

…you’ve ever removed a wedding picture from a frame, because it was the only one that your “Best in Pork” certificate would fit in.

…you’ve ever stabbed someone with a meat thermometer for touching your tongs

…you named your twin daughters “Kingsford” & “Brinkmann”

…you wish _Glade Plug-Ins_ came in Hickory and Mesquite

…your spouse has ever accused you of loving your grill more than them, and you replied, “Which one?”


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## nwdave (Jun 14, 2011)

OK, I confess to the following ones in red. 
 


MossyMO said:


> Saw these at Burnin' Love BBQ and felt the need to share...
> 
> …the term “going whole hog” isn’t metaphorical at your house
> 
> ...


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## adiochiro3 (Jun 14, 2011)

The wife and I had a few LOLs over that one!


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## meateater (Jun 14, 2011)

Glade Plug Ins..........HHMmmmmmmm!


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## gotarace (Jun 15, 2011)

Thank for the good belly laugh Mossey...some of these really hit home...


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## scarbelly (Jun 15, 2011)

I guess it might be an issue if you match up with more than a few of them


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## Bearcarver (Jun 16, 2011)

Good one---I hit a few, but another one would fit us pretty good.

"You have BBQ sauce on your camera."

But that might be only us SMFers!

Bear


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## jirodriguez (Jun 16, 2011)

need to add: "All your neighbors conveniently show up at your front door every Saturday and Sunday right around 5 pm with paper plates in their hands!"


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## alelover (Jun 17, 2011)

I hit a couple. I guess I need to work harder.

Have you ever cut your grass and found a smoker?


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## desertlites (Jun 17, 2011)

The DOT officer scratches his- her head & smiles upon seeing your smoker secured on your catwalk during a level 1 inspection .


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## africanmeat (Jun 17, 2011)

Thank it is funny


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## Bearcarver (Jun 17, 2011)

-----To Scott !


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## smokey mo (Jun 17, 2011)

I think my eyes have stopped watering...woo.  I got almost 100%...that's a good thing right?


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## Bearcarver (Jun 17, 2011)

Smokey Mo said:


> I think my eyes have stopped watering...woo.  I got almost 100%...that's a good thing right?


LOL---Depends on who's doing the review. Around here that would be outstanding !

Bear


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## beer-b-q (Jun 17, 2011)

Good ones, but shouldn't Glade Plug-Ins also come in "Bacon Scented"...


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## smokey mo (Jun 17, 2011)

Beer-B-Q said:


> Good ones, but shouldn't Glade Plug-Ins also come in "Bacon Scented"...




That's what I told Mrs. Smokey!


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## nwdave (Jun 17, 2011)

Thanks, I needed that.  It's good to have a hearty laugh once in a while.
 


africanmeat said:


> Thank it is funny


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## dnvrdv (Jun 18, 2011)

@ NWDave..

…you’ve forcibly removed someone from your house for using ketchup

Your son?


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## nwdave (Jun 18, 2011)

Well, you have to understand.  You're talking about my #1 son who breaks out in a cold sweat if the house stockpile of ketchup gets below a gallon.  Takes after his grandfather.  I  swear he (his grandfather) had a ketchup bottle in his back pocket, just in case........

Now that he's full grown now, there's no forcibly removals anymore, unless you want to give me a hand, that is.

 


dnvrdv said:


> @ NWDave..
> 
> …you’ve forcibly removed someone from your house for using ketchup
> 
> Your son?


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## jirodriguez (Jun 19, 2011)

.... my wife pointed out a few that we all missed.

".....if you can take pictures of your meat and post it on the internet, and it has no sexual conotations what-so-ever!"

".....if you have used the phrase "meat porn" in a sentance"


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## adiochiro3 (Jun 19, 2011)

Beer-B-Q said:


> Good ones, but shouldn't Glade Plug-Ins also come in "Bacon Scented"...


Well, Duh!!!!!!


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## adiochiro3 (Jun 19, 2011)

JIRodriguez said:


> .... my wife pointed out a few that we all missed.
> 
> ".....if you can take pictures of your meat and post it on the internet, and it has no sexual conotations what-so-ever!"
> 
> ".....if you have used the phrase "meat porn" in a sentance"


_*...AND *_you don't have to resign from congress....or anything else!!!!!!  That was awesome! 
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





 Is somebody adding these to MossyMo's original list?


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## mossymo (Jun 19, 2011)

JIRodriguez said:


> .... my wife pointed out a few that we all missed.
> 
> ".....if you can take pictures of your meat and post it on the internet, and it has no sexual conotations what-so-ever!"
> 
> ".....if you have used the phrase "meat porn" in a sentance"


or money shot takes on a whole new meaning...


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## tromaron (Jun 20, 2011)

I've suggested my wife wear this around her neck when she comes to bed.  So far, no dice!


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## alelover (Jun 20, 2011)




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## Bearcarver (Jun 20, 2011)

TromaRon said:


> I've suggested my wife wear this around her neck when she comes to bed.  So far, no dice!


They Never Listen !!!!  
	

	
	
		
		



		
		
	


	





Bear


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## alaskanbear (Jun 20, 2011)

you guys making my old sides hurt and eyes water..too funny


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## adiochiro3 (Jun 21, 2011)

TromaRon said:


> I've suggested my wife wear this around her neck when she comes to bed.  So far, no dice!


That supplements the Bacon Scented Glade Plug-ins!!!!  I gotta find me some of those!


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