# Phrases that if you said in public would get dirty looks, but are commonplace in BBQ



## for-q cookers (Jul 29, 2015)

1. Gimme a sec, gotta go check my butt.

2. I need to rub the meat.

3. Time to flip the chicken.

4. I need to glaze my thighs.

5. I can't right now, My meat is burning!!

And yes, all are from personal experience...

Who else suffers from Freudian Slips around the Pit?


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## jcollins (Jul 29, 2015)

gotta go smoke my fattie lol


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## for-q cookers (Jul 29, 2015)

Nice


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## oldschoolbbq (Jul 29, 2015)

I look for big Chicken Boobies and love looking at big Butts.


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## jcollins (Jul 29, 2015)

lol good one


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## talan64 (Jul 29, 2015)

My wife laughs every time, when I've got CB curing, and I tell her I'm going to massage my meat.


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## for-q cookers (Jul 29, 2015)

Haaaaaa..... Awesome!! That's when you say... then I'll go tend to the CB...lol


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

I got to go tug the bone.


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

I need to go pull my butt.


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

I got to go insert my probe.


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

I have to go mop my breasts.


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## gpb11 (Jul 29, 2015)

I slathered my butt with mustard, then rubbed it.

Start by rubbing butter all over the breasts.

Be sure to inject your butt before you rub it.


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

I like juicy butt.


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## atomicsmoke (Jul 29, 2015)

My butt is smoking.

All my friends like my butt.

I always warm it before putting my meat in.


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

I got to go pull my meat.


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## for-q cookers (Jul 29, 2015)

GPB, I have actually used the rubbing my butt with mustard too.... lol... too funny.

I didn't even want to go down the "injection" path.... LOL


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## jcollins (Jul 29, 2015)

come try my loins?


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

Buffalo turds are my favorite.


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## for-q cookers (Jul 29, 2015)

On time I was applying a rub to a rack of ribs... The girlfriend says, "why do you rub your ribs?" I replied; "Because my balls don't itch"... We both cracked up laughing...


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

I grind my own meat.


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

Checkout this sexy Q-View.


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

My wife likes her meat tenderized.  Shall I stop?


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## mummel (Jul 29, 2015)

I stuff my own sausage.


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## mdboatbum (Jul 29, 2015)

"It's simple. Just rub it a little, then put it in and leave it there until it gets soft and moist."


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## phatbac (Jul 29, 2015)

"I'd rather have a butt than a picnic"


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## chewmeister (Jul 29, 2015)

Anyone else have trouble stuffing their sausage?


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## jcbigler (Jul 29, 2015)

your sauce tastes great

Nice butt

Do you prefer breasts or thighs


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## jcbigler (Jul 29, 2015)

Anyone come up with anything good for brisket?

I can't think of any thing that doesn't apply to any other type of meat...


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## stevetheteacher (Jul 29, 2015)

One word ... spatchcock


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## phatbac (Jul 30, 2015)

"Good tasting turds!"


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## bigmoe615 (Jul 30, 2015)

I don't want my butt to get too dark so I cover it with foil!


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## bigmoe615 (Jul 30, 2015)

I don't want to poke my meat too much or juices start coming out!


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## bigmoe615 (Jul 30, 2015)

Just remembered one more. 

"Honey I'll be back in a sec I gotta go prep my meat. I got a long day tomorrow  and I want to be able to just pull it out and get started"

My wife laughed hysterically...she has such a dirty little mind!


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## ivanstein (Jul 30, 2015)

I attempted my first fatty yesterday and my wife said "I can't wait to put your meat in my mouth!"


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## mummel (Jul 30, 2015)

Ivanstein said:


> I attempted my first fatty yesterday and my wife said "I can't wait to put your meat in my mouth!"



Oh geeez haha


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## chef jimmyj (Jul 31, 2015)

I prefer a nice Fatty Butt for my Sausage...

My Sausage is always lifeless...Can anybody tell me how to Cure it???

Foot Long Sausage...Anyone know who has Buns that can handle that size? Maybe I should look in Walmart...

My meat just...Fell off the Bone...I think I did something wrong!...

I worked my meat until it was really sticky and glossy...Tomorrow I plan to stuff it. May take a few hours 'til I get 'er done...

I went slow but my Sausage keeps blowing out the sides...Too Dry or too Wet?...

(Lady Smoker) Is anybody else having a rough time finding long lasting Hard Wood!?!

The Size of the Wood don't matter...It's whether it's Green or well Seasoned!   (This one needs to be on a Tshirt for us older guys!)

I kept 'er Hot and Smokin' for 12 hours last night...I only fell asleep twice...Pretty good for an Old Man!!!

If it ain't gettin' Hot...Try Blowing on it awhile, that will get 'er burnin' real good...
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






  (AMNPS)

My Wife insists I Wrap my Fattie...I keep telling her it's too much trouble!

I prefer a good Stick Burner, but my Wife likes " Her " new Toy, it's 40 inches and ELECTRIC...

I have a 12 pound D--- now, but my Wife says a 30 pounder would do the job faster!


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## jcollins (Jul 31, 2015)

Chef JimmyJ said:


> I prefer a nice Fatty Butt for my Sausage...
> 
> My Sausage is always lifeless...Can anybody tell me how to Cure it???
> 
> ...


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## bluewhisper (Jul 31, 2015)

Along similar lines, on snake discussion boards the owners of ball pythons post subjects like Pics of My Balls.


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## mummel (Jul 31, 2015)

HAHA Jimmy, Im pretty sure you could take any food group and make it sound filthy you dirty old man hahaha.


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## mummel (Jul 31, 2015)

Smoked Kumquats?


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## for-q cookers (Jul 31, 2015)

I came home from the store with a Pork Shoulder to cook. I held it up to show my Girlfriend what I had purchased...

The GF says; Wow!! Thats a nice looking piece of meat, cant wait to taste it...

I said; Thanks, but let me get this Shoulder prepped and on the smoker first.


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## bbqbrett (Jul 31, 2015)

This is outside the meat area.  Smoked some almonds and brought them into work.  One woman I work with told a couple of people who sit nearby how much she liked the taste of my smoky nuts!


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## for-q cookers (Jul 31, 2015)

Lol


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## sacsmitty (Jul 31, 2015)

- We're pulling pork tonight.

- Timers going off, need to spray down the butt.

- Gotta shove some Rosemary up the cavity


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## mneeley490 (Jul 31, 2015)

Wrapping your meat will keep it from stalling.

Gotta keep that firebox stoked, so I'm pulling another all-nighter.

Bite my butt! It's so juicy and tender, it'll melt in your mouth.

BBQ'ers go all night long.


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## simple (Jul 31, 2015)

it's hard to find fresh butts at a decent price these days.

When your bone in the butt wiggles freely, you know it's done


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## snafu72 (Jul 31, 2015)

Sausage-fest

I like mine dry but my wife likes hers wet (speaking of ribs that is)


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## for-q cookers (Aug 13, 2015)

simple said:


> it's hard to find fresh butts at a decent price these days.
> 
> _When your bone in the butt wiggles freely, you know it's done_


I think we have a winner!!!! LOL


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## smokin218r (Aug 13, 2015)

I like to rub my meat on a regular basis.


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## smokin218r (Aug 13, 2015)

JCBigler said:


> Anyone come up with anything good for brisket?
> 
> I can't think of any thing that doesn't apply to any other type of meat...


If your going to rub your point, keep it simple and SPOG all over it!!


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## litterbug (Aug 13, 2015)

My meat is like a flavor explosion in your mouth


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## crclass (Aug 15, 2015)

I'll take this as a compliment. My neighbor just told me he can smell my butt and it smells delicious. He is a fellow smoker guy so he had scoped out what I was smoking.


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## eman (Aug 19, 2015)

Once you put my meat in your mouth you will surely want to swallow.


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## muralboy (Aug 19, 2015)

I wonder if my wife would rub my meat for me tonight since I can't


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## juan morkast (Aug 20, 2015)

i have to clean my ash hole


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## ironhorse07 (Aug 20, 2015)

There is a guy around here who does smoked nuts out of a mobile unit. On the back of it in big letters is "can you smell my nuts? ". Cracks me up every time I see it.


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## muralboy (Aug 20, 2015)

I did a fry test and my meat isn't salty enough


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## gpb11 (Aug 20, 2015)

Let's just say that teaching your kids to cook BBQ would generate some really improper statements if taken out of context!

(... and hope to h311 nobody's named Jared....)


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## siege (Aug 20, 2015)

Look at the size of those briskets !

" stick burner "

" I like gassers "

" just trying to get 'er up to temperature "


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## bluewhisper (Aug 25, 2015)

I scored some cherry but it's going to be tough to split before I get it smoking.

Really - I found some Weber brand big cherry chunks sold as fireplace wood, and I should be able to split them down to offset firebox size.


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## humdinger (Aug 25, 2015)

"Sorry I'm so tired today fellas, I was up all night on the internet browsing the smoking meat forum......"

Get's chuckles EVERY time.


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## worktogthr (Aug 25, 2015)

Humdinger said:


> "Sorry I'm so tired today fellas, I was up all night on the internet browsing the smoking meat forum......"
> 
> Get's chuckles EVERY time.



Hahaha true.  My friends and family laugh every time I say smokingmeat forums.


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## JckDanls 07 (Aug 25, 2015)

"If you rub my meat...  I'll marinade your loins"


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## chef jimmyj (Aug 26, 2015)

Can I just wash my meat or do I have to heat it to 165°F to kill the bugs?...
	

	
	
		
		



		
			






...JJ


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## mummel (Aug 26, 2015)

When I put my meat on your rack it gets hot.


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## gpb11 (Aug 26, 2015)

Whoa!  Did you see her rack!


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## litterbug (Aug 26, 2015)

My fatty had a blowout and cheesed all over


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## mummel (Aug 26, 2015)

Oh geez lol.


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## fwismoker (Aug 26, 2015)

Look at my sausage squirt, or my sausage is squirting like crazy


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## mummel (Sep 4, 2015)

1697470.jpg



__ mummel
__ Sep 4, 2015


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