Joke Of The Day
Jack had just completed his round. He was sitting in the locker room changing when he answered a call.“Hi honey, how was your round today?”
“Great,” Jack answers. “The best round I ever played.”
“That’s great!” the voice on the other end said. ‘The reason I am calling is there’s a Prada handbag on sale. It’s still expensive, but I have always wanted one.
“Get it. Put it on my credit card,” Jack responds.
“Oh, thank you!” she responds.
“You know what, why don’t you go to the Mercedes dealership and get that new car you want?” Jack added.
Astounded, she says, “You’re in for an extra special treat when you get home.”
Feeling empowered, she goes on…
“Honey, can we talk about that trip to Italy we have dreamed about since we got married?”
“I agree, call our travel agent and book it,” Jack responded. “Reserve first class tickets and book 5-star hotels, too. We earned it.”
The woman was astounded! They hang up and Jack continues to change and a few other members walk into the locker room.
Jack stands up and asks, “Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?”
A Mom is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
"Mommy," the little girl asks, "How old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother warns.
"It is not polite."
"OK," the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really," the mother says, "These are personal questions and are really none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?"
"Those are enough questions, honestly!"
The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
"My Mom wouldn't tell me anything," the little girl says to her friend.
"Well," said the friend, "All you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card; it has everything on it."
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32."
The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"
"And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know why you and Daddy got a divorce."
"Oh really?" the mother asks.
"Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex.”
