Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by blackhawk19, Oct 11, 2007.

  1. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member


    Here is a little test that will help you decide.

    The answer can be found by posing the following question:


    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife
    and two small children.


    Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife
    comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,
    screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the
    knife, and charges at you.


    You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

    You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?










    Democrat's Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire
    him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock
    the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind
    of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be
    content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my
    family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and
    make this happier, healthier street that would
    discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with
    some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.


    .................................................. .................................................. ..............

    Republican's Answer: BANG!

    .................................................. .................................................. ..............

    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    BANG! Click



    Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those theWinchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"


    Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"


    Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

     
  2. pigcicles

    pigcicles Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    I'd have to fall somewhere between the Republican and the Southerner. I'd have to quit when I ran out of bullets the first time... why keep shooting a target that's full of holes already
     
  3. Sometimes if ya got a good group goin, ya just don't want to stop. [​IMG]
     
  4. starsfaninco

    starsfaninco Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    the only problem I see with this little scenario other than the democrat is that Silvertips ARE hollowpoints :)
     
  5. blackhawk19

    blackhawk19 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    I agree, I learned in 67/68 not to waste ammo, but it is fun sometimes[​IMG]
     
  6. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    so when does the democrats get equal time?




    d8de
     
  7. starsfaninco

    starsfaninco Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    you mean in front of the business end of the gun?
     
  8. walking dude

    walking dude Smoking Guru SMF Premier Member

    ahhhh........a BUSH man...........yeah he's done WONDERS for this country.........just wonders............even Nixon will fare better in the history books




    d8de
     
  9. starsfaninco

    starsfaninco Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Never said I was a Bush man, just cant stand the liberals.
     
  10. deejaydebi

    deejaydebi Smoking Guru

    Good God! I'd be in trouble I don't own a gun but if I did there'd be no question I blow the suckers arse to kingdom come if he was threatening my family! I do have a few pretty good sized hunting knives I used to carry in my boot years ago when I was hichiking though.

    BTW - I am a registered democrat, but vote my heart not the party.
     
  11. tailgatingpirate

    tailgatingpirate Fire Starter

    I sir am a Bush man, in fact have a poster of him, Reagan and Rush Limbaugh and call it my wall of hero's
     
  12. starsfaninco

    starsfaninco Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    I voted for him (twice), but mainly because IMO, he was the lesser of the evils. There are a few things I'm not really happy with him over, but it has nothing to do with Iraq.
     
  13. It's all Bush's fault. [​IMG]
     
  14. chadpole

    chadpole Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Yeah, I guess everything is Bush's fault. According to Al Gore even global warming.....ain't that a crock of sh**. I could really see what this United States would be like if chicken sh** John Carey had been elected. What a damn joke. Now we got a damn muslim... Barrack Obama trying to give the United States to the &$#@^% over in Iran who wants to be President. To he** with him and the Hildabeast Hillary.
     
  15. kew_el_steve

    kew_el_steve Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Living here on the "redneck riviera", there are some people around here that aren't that much different from the "southerners". This is where the boot camp verdict came from today...they take their justice seriously here.
     

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