The Hit Man (R)

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by coyote, Jul 14, 2008.

  1. coyote

    coyote Master of the Pit

    FUNNY! :)


    Two old friends were just about to tee off at the first
    hole of their local golf course when a guy carrying a golf bag called out
    to them, "Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn't turn up."

    "Sure," they said, "You're welcome." So they started playing and enjoyed
    the game and the company of the newcomer. Part way around the course, one of
    the friends asked the newcomer, "What do you do for a living?"

    "I'm a hit man," was the reply.

    "You're joking!" was the response.

    "No, I'm not," he said, reaching into his golf bag, and pulling out a beautiful
    Martini sniper's rifle with a large telescopic sight. "Here are my tools."

    "That's a beautiful telescopic sight," said the other friend, "Can I take a look?
    I think I might be able to see my house from here." So he picked up the rifle and
    looked through the sight in the direction of his house.

    "Yeah, I can see my house all right. This sight is fantastic. I can see right in
    the window." "Wow, I can see my wife in the bedroom. Ha Ha, I can see she's naked!!
    Wait a minute, that's my neighbor in there with her....... He's naked, too!!!

    He turned to the hit man, "How much do you charge for a hit?"

    "I'll do a flat rate, for you, one thousand dollars every time I pull the trigger."

    "Can you do two for me now?"

    "Sure, what do you want?"

    "First, shoot my wife, she's always been mouthy, so shoot her in the mouth."

    "Then the neighbor, he's a friend of mine, so just shoot his d*** off to teach him a lesson."

    The hit man took the rifle and took aim, standing perfectly still for a few minutes.

    "Are you going to do it or not?" said the friend impatiently.

    "Just be patient," said the hit man calmly, "I think I can save you a grand here....."
     
  2. 1894

    1894 Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    Thanks [​IMG] Guess I was due for a new keybord any ways [​IMG]
     
  3. fireguy

    fireguy Smoking Fanatic

    [​IMG] Thanks for the smile...real good!
     
  4. bbqgoddess

    bbqgoddess Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Chardonnay coming out the nose, not so attractive! but just as funny!
     
  5. mossymo

    mossymo Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Chardonnay out the nose can be very attractive in an alchohol induced state of mind, or if the gal is just plain, out HOT !!! In your case BBQGODDESS, we honestly do not mind.....
     
  6. bigbear

    bigbear Smoke Blower

    Honest to God, my wife didn't get it!! I rest my case!!
     
  7. joed617

    joed617 Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    I was going to say " from your responce it sounds like you're not getting it either" but, I won't .. just kidding have a great day.
     
  8. meat-man

    meat-man Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    rotflmfao that was great
     
  9. lcruzen

    lcruzen Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Alrighty then![​IMG]
     
  10. travcoman45

    travcoman45 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    OOOOOOhhhhhhh yyyyeeeaaahhh!
     
  11. smokin365

    smokin365 Smoking Fanatic

    HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!![​IMG]
     

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