Someone had to remind me!

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by grandpa jim, Nov 7, 2011.

  1. grandpa jim

    grandpa jim Fire Starter


    Someone had to remind me,

    so I'm reminding you, too.
    Don't laugh.... It is all true!

    Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60
    And heading towards
    70 or beyond!
    1.
    Kidnappers are not very
    interested in you.
    2.
    In a hostage situation,
    you are likely to be released first.
    3.
    No one expects you to run --
    anywhere.
    4.
    People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,
    'Did I wake you?'
    5.
    People no longer view you as a
    hypochondriac.
    6.
    There is nothing left
    to learn the hard way.
    7.
    Things you buy now
    won't wear out.
    8.
    You can eat
    supper at 4 PM.
    9..
    You can live without sex
    but not your glasses.
    10.
    You get into heated arguments
    about pension plans.
    11.
    You no longer think of speed limits
    as a challenge.
    12.
    You quit trying to hold
    your stomach in no matter who walks
    into the room.
    13.
    You sing along
    with elevator music.
    14.
    Your eyes won't get
    much worse.
    15.
    Your investment in health insurance
    is finally beginning to pay off.
    16.
    Your joints are more accurate meteorologists
    than the national weather service.
    17.
    Your secrets are safe with your friends
    because they can't remember them either.
    18.
    Your supply of brain cells is finally down to
    a manageable size.
    19.
    You can't remember
    who sent you this list.

    And you notice these are all
    in big print
    for your convenience.

    Forward this to everyone
    you can remember
    right now!

    AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

    Never, NEVER, NEVER,
    under any circumstances,
    take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
     
  2. boykjo

    boykjo SAUSAGE MAKER Staff Member Moderator Group Lead OTBS Member

    I felt like that when I turned 45..................
     
  3. werdwolf

    werdwolf Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    I don't know about number 9   [​IMG]

    But the rest are fairly accurate
     

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