Railroad tracks.

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by beer-b-q, Jan 19, 2011.

  1. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

     Railroad tracks.

    The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number.

    Why was that gauge used? Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates designed the US  railroads..

    Why did the English build them like that? Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

    Why did 'they' use that gauge then? Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

    Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing? Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheelswould break on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

    So who built those old rutted roads? Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

    And the ruts in the roads? Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels.

    Since the chariots were made for Imperial   Rome , they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing. Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever.

     So the next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?' , you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariotswere made just wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' asses.)

    Now, the twist to the story:

     When you see a Space Shuttlesitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rocketsattached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in  Utah

    The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

     So, a major Space Shuttledesign feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass. And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important? Ancient horse's asses control almost everything... and the current
    Horses Asses in Washington are controlling everything else!

  2. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member


    Very interesting too!

  3. cycletrash

    cycletrash Meat Mopper

    SO True !! I am a railroader that works in a local steel mill in the Ohio Valley
  4. bob1961

    bob1961 Smoking Fanatic

    so the next time some body calls me a horse's ass i'll just say thank you....then they will ask me why, lmfao.........bob

  5. ak1

    ak1 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    So, basically, we're going into space because of a horses ass!  I love it!
  6. Love it!!      Much thanks to the horses' ass.........
  7. scarbelly

    scarbelly Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    I saw this one a few years ago and forgot all about it - Thanks Paul!! Amazing
  8. bearcarver

    bearcarver Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Kinda reminds me of the old PA Dutch saying:

    Vy iz der zo many more orzez azzez zen zer iz orzez?


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