only at Wal-Mart

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by uncle_lar, Mar 11, 2009.

  1. uncle_lar

    uncle_lar Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.

    A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a notorious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.'

    Artie then explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.

    The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand
    until he could collect his wife's insurance money.

    Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.

    Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, & reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.

    A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Super

    Wal-Mart store. There, he surprised her in the produce department
    & proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands & as the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath & slumped to the floor........

    The manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind,

    ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.

    However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras & observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.

    Artie was caught & arrested before he could even leave the store.

    Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial
    arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.

    The next day in the newspaper, the headline declared ...

    (You're going to hate this ... )

    'ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 AT WAL-MART!'
  2. irishteabear

    irishteabear Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    LOL, loved it! [​IMG]
  3. seenred

    seenred Smoking Guru Group Lead OTBS Member

  4. BOOOO!!!! Corn ALERT
  5. meat hunter

    meat hunter Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    Yeah that was pretty good.
  6. kookie

    kookie Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Thats pretty funny.......
  7. LOL. It might have choked Artie but it won't choke Stymie.[​IMG]
  8. vtanker

    vtanker Meat Mopper

    That's so Corney its stupidly funny!

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