Never Argue With A Woman

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by mofo, Feb 13, 2009.

  1. mofo

    mofo Meat Mopper

    One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

    Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

    'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

    'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

    'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

    'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.

    I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

    'For reading a book,' she replies.

    'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again.

    'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

    'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

    'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

    'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

    MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
  2. irishteabear

    irishteabear Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    How true, lol.
  3. dionysus

    dionysus Meat Mopper OTBS Member

    When dealing with my better half I RELIGIOUSLY follow these rules:
    1. I have no opinion.
    2. Tell me where I have to be and what time I have to be there.
    3. What do I have to wear (see #2)

    and MOST importantly ......

    4. I'm sorry, it'll NEVER happen again.

    And after 28 years, they become second nature.
  4. richoso1

    richoso1 Smoking Guru OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Good rules, just have to repeat them over, and over.
  5. seenred

    seenred Smoking Guru Group Lead OTBS Member

    Got a big chuckle out of this one. Dionysus, I too live by these rules. Let me add one very important one, though, that I am NEVER allowed to forget:

    When it comes to money, there's our money, and then there's HER MONEY. (She is kind enough to allow me to have a small allowance)
  6. bigbaldbbq

    bigbaldbbq Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    We should just wake up saying I'm sorry!!
  7. dave958

    dave958 Fire Starter SMF Premier Member

    Good one, man gets last word in yes dear [​IMG]

  8. cman95

    cman95 Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member bunch a lite weights.

    I keep my wife on her knees!!

    She is on her knees telling me........GET OUT FROM UNDER THAT BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!!!!!![​IMG]
  9. davidmcg

    davidmcg Meat Mopper

    I grew up in a house with a mom and 2 mean older sisters. I learned at a ripe young age what the pecking order was and that I wasn't allowed anywhere near it. One Christmas my oldest sister chased me down the street in my underwear trying to beat me with a piece of hotwheel track I just unwrapped. And everybody wondered why my dad always volunteered to work every holiday. Wasn't just for the money.

    Also, Dionysus, I have learned the same thing after 28 years.

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