Men are just happier

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by teacup13, Apr 11, 2009.

  1. teacup13

    teacup13 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    This is why guys are known as "happy go lucky",

    NICKNAMES
    . If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
    . If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


    EATING OUT
    . When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
    . When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


    MONEY
    . A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    . A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


    BATHROOMS
    . A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
    .The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


    ARGUMENTS
    . A woman has the last word in any argument.
    . Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


    FUTURE
    . A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    . A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


    SUCCESS
    . A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    . A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


    MARRIAGE
    . A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    . A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


    DRESSING UP
    . A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    . A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


    NATURAL
    . Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    . Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


    OFFSPRING
    . Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret
    fears and hopes and dreams.
    . A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


    PARTING THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
    A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
    remembering the same thing!
     
  2. smoke freak

    smoke freak StickBurners

    I know Im gonna get in trouble when I make my wife read this one. I just know it.
     
  3. rivet

    rivet Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Laughed my A** off on this one, good job! I uh, lived through the quote above last night. Let's see what this morning brings...[​IMG]
     
  4. cman95

    cman95 Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    WOW....you sure are smart!! Good one.[​IMG]
     
  5. allen

    allen Smoking Fanatic

    I Loved it, A lot of it was soooo true
     
  6. meat hunter

    meat hunter Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    Oh man, that is funny. Copied and sending this to my friends.
     
  7. kookie

    kookie Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Sad but true..........lol..................
     

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