Male Vs. Female At The Atm

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by beer-b-q, Sep 14, 2009.

  1. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    [font=&quot]MALE[/font][font=&quot] VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE [/font][font=&quot]

    A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:[/font]
    [font=&quot]'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.[/font][font=&quot]

    Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts..[/font]
    [font=&quot]

    After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'[/font]
    [font=&quot]
    ************************** [/font]
    MALE PROCEDURE:[font=&quot]1. Drive up to the cash machine.[/font]
    2. Put down your car window.[font=&quot]

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off. [/font]
    **************************
    [font=&quot]FEMALE PROCEDURE:[/font][font=&quot] What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set hand brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the
    car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.
    18. Re-check makeup.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
    23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Redial person on cell phone.
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    27. Release hand brake.

    [/font]
     
  2. forluvofsmoke

    forluvofsmoke Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHH HHH!!!!!!!!!!!

    Those last two line are just...well...OK, I'll just keep my pie-hole shut...

    Good one!

    Eric
     
  3. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    What can I say, I'm an adrenaline junkie, I love to live Dangerously...[​IMG]
     
  4. zopi

    zopi Smoke Blower

    and it keeps him nimble..

    suvival of the fleetest..
     
  5. mrh

    mrh Meat Mopper

    What happened to #14 in the female directions?
     
  6. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Someone must not know how to count???
     
  7. richoso1

    richoso1 Smoking Guru OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    She's been there... and done that. Nuff said.
     
  8. figjam

    figjam Meat Mopper

    [font=&quot]26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    27. Release hand brake.


    Best part
    [/font]
     

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