I'm From the Govt. ... and I'm here to help; PG 13

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by werdwolf, Jan 16, 2010.

  1. werdwolf

    werdwolf Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Congress has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment.

    This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

    Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to Congress to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination).

    Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers).

    A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Congress deems appropriate.

    Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

    Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Congress.

    Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Congress has always prided themselves on the amount of **** they give our citizens.

    Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your Congressman, who has been trained to give you all the **** you can handle.

    Sincerely,
    The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)

    PS - - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.[/font]
     
  2. pepeskitty

    pepeskitty Smoking Fanatic

    That is a dandy one. I will be passing this on, thanks.
     
  3. zapper

    zapper Smoking Fanatic OTBS Member

    That would be funny if it were not so close to the truth[​IMG]
     
  4. beer-b-q

    beer-b-q Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Isn't that covered in Chapter One of the Government Employees Training Manual? [​IMG]
     
  5. gene111

    gene111 Smoking Fanatic

    that's a good one.
     
  6. That is a very good one...
     
  7. vince

    vince StickBurners SMF Premier Member

    sorry, I don't see the humor in it.
     

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