ATM Procedures

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by msiferllc, Mar 7, 2012.

  1. msiferllc

    msiferllc Newbie

    [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
    installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to
    withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
    facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
    accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
    FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
    steps for your gender."

    MALE PROCEDURE

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.

    2. Put down your car window.

    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

    6. Put window up.

    7. Drive off.
    [/font]

    [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]FEMALE PROCEDURE

    1. Drive up to cash machine.

    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    [/font]

    [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

    8. Insert card.

    9. Re-insert card the right way.

    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

    11. Enter PIN.

    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

    13. Enter amount of cash required.

    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

    17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

    18. Re-check makeup.

    19. Drive forward 2 feet.
    [/font]

    [font=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]20. Reverse back to cash machine.

    21. Retrieve card.

    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.

    23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.

    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

    25. Redial person on cell phone.

    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

    27. Release Parking Brake.
    [/font]
     
  2. pops6927

    pops6927 Smoking Guru Staff Member Moderator Group Lead OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Hmmm, must be one of them modern women, didn't say a thing about reapplying lipstick after checking makeup!
     
  3. Bad, bad, bad!!!! LOL I always have the card to HIS account easily accessible and I know the PIN!!!!! I had a boss in Pittsburgh that used to drive to work putting her makeup on and talking on her cell...drove me nuts!
     

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