A Day In The Life Of A Republican

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by zzerru, Apr 5, 2008.

  1. zzerru

    zzerru Meat Mopper

    Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot
    full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for
    minimum water quality standards.

    He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His
    medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure
    their safety and work as advertised.

    All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers
    medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their
    employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares
    his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to
    eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing
    industry.

    Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is
    properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents
    because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting
    on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and
    takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-
    hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our
    air.

    He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to
    work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation
    fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public
    transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a
    contributor.

    Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay,
    medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some
    liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
    Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't
    want his employees to call the union.

    If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get a worker
    compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn't think
    he should loose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

    It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some
    bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
    liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who
    ruined the banking system before the depression.

    Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below
    market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that
    Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and
    earned more money over his lifetime.

    Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at
    his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to
    dad's; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal
    fought for car safety standards.

    He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live
    in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers
    didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until
    some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
    demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republicans would still
    be sitting in the dark)

    He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social
    Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could
    take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad
    he gets back in his car for the ride home.

    He turns on a radio talk show, the host keeps saying that liberals
    are bad and conservatives are good (He doesn't tell Joe that his
    beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit
    Joe enjoys throughout his day). Joe agrees, "We don't need those big
    government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I'm a self-made man
    who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I
    have."
     
  2. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    OK so my sense of humor is off today. Can I get some Federal funded therapy for that?
     
  3. smokebuzz

    smokebuzz Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    YES, cuz some DEMACOMMY helped fund it
     
  4. zzerru

    zzerru Meat Mopper

    Nah no free therapy, I'll take the Republican view..."Pull yourself up by your boot-straps and let the free market fix your sense of humor"...
     
  5. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    It already has, my friend. Din't wait for a pork barrel program. Too busy trying to make money.
     
  6. smokebuzz

    smokebuzz Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    You mean EARNING a Living
     
  7. stoneysmama

    stoneysmama Newbie

    I generally avoid discussing politics and religion, but you are so correct. Hang on, it's almost our turn again.
     
  8. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Well, SOMEONE has to pay for alla that stuff, yanno...
     
  9. abelman

    abelman Master of the Pit OTBS Member SMF Premier Member

    Yeah, I guess it's kinda like putting your money where your mouth is or putting your mouth where the money is.
     
  10. cman95

    cman95 Master of the Pit SMF Premier Member

    .................................................. ...............................................
    And I am being nice. Hogwash!
     
  11. david-s

    david-s Newbie

    This is, of course, posted in the JOKES forum...

    A Day In The Life Of A Republican
    Joe gets up at 6:00am to prepare his morning coffee. He fills his pot
    full of good clean drinking water because some liberal fought for
    minimum water quality standards.

    coffee was hand picked by "Juan Valdez", certainly not in USA.
    asked my 89 yr young friend about water; he said none he can remember died from bad water, only bad whiskey.

    He takes his daily medication with his first swallow of coffee. His
    medications are safe to take because some liberal fought to insure
    their safety and work as advertised.

    to many high priced medications available. perhaps the doctors should be required to pass tougher background checks and psyc evals.

    All but $10.00 of his medications are paid for by his employers
    medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their
    employers for paid medical insurance, now Joe gets it too. He prepares
    his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs this day. Joe's bacon is safe to
    eat because some liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing
    industry.

    farmers did sell direct to the public via small shops, now look. health insurance is ok, as long as the insurance ceo's aren't making more than the oil execs. some overpriced "pills" are $50-100 each, with less than 30cents production costs... how much is that by the gallon? and we're (they are) talking about socialized medicine...

    Joe takes his morning shower reaching for his shampoo; His bottle is
    properly labeled with every ingredient and the amount of its contents
    because some liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting
    on his body and how much it contained. Joe dresses, walks outside and
    takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some tree-
    hugging liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our
    air.

    soap was made at home back then... along came johnson't baby shampoo. we have the worst pollution in the free world, probably from all the unnecessary trips to town while on high priced meds and using high priced gas.

    He walks to the subway station for his government subsidized ride to
    work; it saves him considerable money in parking and transportation
    fees. You see, some liberal fought for affordable public
    transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a
    contributor.

    ever been to atlanta and taken the scenic tour on Marta? bring your uzi.

    Joe begins his work day; he has a good job with excellent pay,
    medicals benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some
    liberal union members fought and died for these working standards.
    Joe's employer pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't
    want his employees to call the union.

    how much money did Joe make for his employer today? perhaps everyone in this country should be paid based on production... all the "other" countries pay their employees exactly what they are worth. Small business is also on commission. We produce, or starve...

    If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed he'll get a worker
    compensation or unemployment check because some liberal didn't think
    he should loose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

    what ever happened to the "family unit"? Have you ever picked up a hammer when a friend (or enemy) lost his home or out buildings to storm damage?

    It's noon time, Joe needs to make a Bank Deposit so he can pay some
    bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some
    liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who
    ruined the banking system before the depression.

    this is where the death penalty should start, from the bottom UP.

    Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae underwritten Mortgage and his below
    market federal student loan because some stupid liberal decided that
    Joe and the government would be better off if he was educated and
    earned more money over his lifetime.

    did the college teach Joe how to work for Joe, or how to work for someone else? perhaps Joe was educated to believe he is better off in the "middle of the road", where he is of the best use to the gov't; ie; maximum taxpayer.

    Joe is home from work, he plans to visit his father this evening at
    his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive to
    dad's; his car is among the safest in the world because some liberal
    fought for car safety standards.

    can't argue with that. if cars are only suppose to travel at 55-70, why are they made to speed over 120mph?

    He arrives at his boyhood home. He was the third generation to live
    in the house financed by Farmers Home Administration because bankers
    didn't want to make rural loans. The house didn't have electric until
    some big government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and
    demanded rural electrification. (Those rural Republicans would still
    be sitting in the dark)

    i'm surprised that everyone wasn't required to move to town. the tax revenue alone from "rural electrification" generates billions in revenue for uncle. NOTHING is done, just to help out...

    He is happy to see his dad who is now retired. His dad lives on Social
    Security and his union pension because some liberal made sure he could
    take care of himself so Joe wouldn't have to. After his visit with dad
    he gets back in his car for the ride home.

    i'm 49. with the current (news reports) social insecurity is dying and fast. shouldn't i be able to get all i paid in when i retire (now 67 although 65 when i "signed up"). how long would you have to live to draw all of your money back? the last estimate was in excess of 100.

    He turns on a radio talk show, the host keeps saying that liberals
    are bad and conservatives are good (He doesn't tell Joe that his
    beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit
    Joe enjoys throughout his day). Joe agrees, "We don't need those big
    government liberals ruining our lives; after all, I'm a self-made man
    who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I
    have."

    free speach. if we only read, hear, watch, and speak what we think is truth, who do we believe?

    I have a question... where does the federal tax listed on all of my bill's actually go? tax, tax and more tax. who is responsible for all of these so-called pleasures? These "freebie and pork barrell" programs are taxing (USA) to death. refer to line one...
     
  12. travcoman45

    travcoman45 Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    Ain't touchin this one!
    [​IMG]
     
  13. smokebuzz

    smokebuzz Master of the Pit OTBS Member

    David, I agree,TOTALY
     
  14. zzerru

    zzerru Meat Mopper

    Yep, in the jokes forum, right alsongside all the little, "poignant" jabs at liberals / democrats. What's good for the goose is good for the gander...
     
  15. liberalism is a mental disorder.........( savage nation )











    (
     
  16. zzerru

    zzerru Meat Mopper

    If liberalism is a mental disorder, ergo conservativism must be sheer insanity...
     
  17. k5yac

    k5yac Smoking Fanatic SMF Premier Member

    Right with ya there gorilla... a bunch of RDDBs to say the least. Let em drift through life blaming everyone else for what they don't have... in the mean time, let's keep the country running with our eeevil money and hard work.

    Checked your powder lately? Keep er dry. [​IMG]
     
  18. richtee

    richtee Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    Ahh Ann Arbor. Heh. Makes sense now. My kid graduated a couple years ago from U of M. Drove her nuts there... ;{)
     
  19. zzerru

    zzerru Meat Mopper

    heheh, yeah there is definately a prevailing political attitude here, as there is in Oakland Co (though times are a changing if you look at the last electoral map, especially around Farm Hills area, coming around to our point of view!). Though I didn't attend the U of M, graduated instead from Harvard on the Huron. ;^)
     
  20. zzerru

    zzerru Meat Mopper

    Red Diaper Doper Babies? Come on guys, do you really need someone else to provide you with non-sensical labels for other people? The Savage Weiner at least encourages his audience to be creative, not just parrot him like a dittohead...
     

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