A Cowboy named Bud

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by wildflower, Jan 9, 2012.

  1. A  cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.  

    The driver, a young man in a Brionisuit, Guccishoes, RayBansunglasses and YSLtie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?" 

    Bud looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

    The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dellnotebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on
    the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on
    his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.    

    The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshopand exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany .     

    Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilotthat the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQLdatabase through an ODBC connected Excelspreadsheet with
    email on his Blackberryand, after a few minutes, receives a response.

    Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJetprinter, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have
    exactly 1,586 cows and calves."   

     "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.

    He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man  stuffs it into the trunk of his car.   

    Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"   

    The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"    

    "You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says Bud.       

    "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

     "No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter.  This is a herd of sheep.

    Now give me back my dog.
  2. frosty

    frosty Master of the Pit

  3. sunman76

    sunman76 Master of the Pit

  4. That's about the size of it. [​IMG]
  5. dewetha

    dewetha Smoking Fanatic

  6. scarbelly

    scarbelly Smoking Guru OTBS Member

    [​IMG]  Love it 
  7. michael ark

    michael ark Master of the Pit

  8. Our tax dollars at work!LOL

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